From Death into Life by William Haslam

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I returned to the vestry,' feeling somewhat dejected, but still hoping
for better days. As I opened the door to go home, two men ran away like
frightened boys, but it was too dark for me to distinguish who they
were.

That next morning it came to my mind that I must go round to the people
and ask them what they were thinking about? I had done so from the
pulpit; now I would go from house to house and do the same. I went first
to the school, and finding that several children were absent, I took
their names and determined to go after them, in the hope of reaching
their parents.

The first house I called at was a mistake, and yet it was not. I knocked
at the door, and said, "Does Mrs. W-- live here?"

The woman who opened it said, "No, she lives next door."

I apologized for disturbing her, and was going away, when she said,
"Will you not come in for a few minutes?" I assented, and going in, took
a seat. Then I asked her name, and whether she went to church.

She replied, "To be sure I do. Don't you see me there every Sunday?"

"Then," I said, "did you hear my question last evening."

"Yes," she said, "but I was afraid, and ashamed to stay behind. But I do
wish to be saved; I have been wretched for more than a week."

It was very easy to lead to the Saviour of sinners one whose heart was
so prepared. She soon found peace, and became one of my most useful and
steadiest helpers.

Her neighbour next door, was by no means so ready to receive the truth,
and I had to supply another argument altogether. Eventually, she also
found peace in believing; though not for some weeks.

From this house, I visited several others, and in all of them had
serious dealing with individuals about their 'souls' salvation. Then I
set off to see a man I had often observed in church; having noticed the
anxious look with which he always regarded me during the sermon. I found
him at home, and, on entering his house, he said, at once, "I know what
you are come for. Wait a little, sir, please to sit down;" and before I
had time to say a word, he went upstairs. In a few minutes he returned,
with a shilling in his hand. "There," he said, "there it is; that is my
contribution for the Indian Mutiny Fund."

I thanked him for his offering, and promised that it should be given to
the treasurer. "But," I added, "to tell the truth, I have not come about
that, but to see you. I want to speak to you about your soul."

He sat down, looking, as I thought, most unhappy. Then he said,--"Last
night my mate and I made up our minds to speak to you in the vestry;
but, just as we were coming to the door, you opened it, and we ran
away."

"Yes," I said, "I heard you."

"Well, after that, we came home, and prayed the Lord to send you to us:
and here you are!"

"Thank God for the answer to prayer. Now then, what can I do for you?"

He told me that he was born of respectable parents in Germany; but that,
for his bad ways and bad habits, they had sent him to this country to
work for his bread; that he had taken the pledge several times, and
broken it again and again, though he had prayed and done all he could
think of; but it was to no propose.

"If you had stayed last night," I said, "I might have helped you. How
did you come to break your pledge?"

"Oh," he said, "it came to my mind that when I signed, I was only
thinking of beer and spirits, not wine; so I took some, and it flew to
my head; and soon I was as bad as ever."

"Now," I said, "you have renounced wine and all; have you?"

"Yes, I have."

"Well then, will you give your heart to God also?"

In course of conversation it came out, that this man's first impressions
were effected some years before, by a dream, or vision of Christ on the
cross. He was passing by, but, somehow, turned to look at it; when, to
his surprise, he saw that the eyes of the figure were looking at him. As
he approached, the figure appeared to be standing on the ground, and
beckoning, when a sudden fear came over him; he stopped, and the vision
faded away. Ever since that time, he had felt that Jesus was the Friend
he needed; and that nothing less would satisfy him.

Unfortunately, too many, like this man, stop at a critical point of
their history; and, often, the crisis is not prolonged for them, as it
was for him.

A long time ago there was a sinner arrested by a similar vision. He
says, in a hymn which he wrote, giving a description of it:--

"I saw One hanging on a tree,
In agony and blood,
Who fixed His languid eyes on me
As near the cross I stood."

He continues,

"My conscience felt and owned its guilt;" and when he did so, he
received a second look, which spoke forgiveness to him, as distinctly as
the first look brought him under conviction.

I charged this man to make his surrender, and to own or acknowledge
himself the sinner for whom Jesus died. On doing so, he obtained
forgiveness and peace, and has since, by grace, been enabled to live a
happy, consistent, and devoted life, and has been a blessing to many
souls. No sooner had he found the Saviour, than immediately he began to
plead for and with his friend James. I know not what passed between
them; but that same evening he brought him to me with a heart prepared
to receive Christ. We had only to point him to Jesus, and encourage him
to thank God, when he realized the truth in his own experience.

So that Monday I rejoiced over five people brought to the Lord; and then
the work began in real earnest. Every week after that, remarkable
conversions took place, besides many ordinary ones. Some of these,
including the one just mentioned, are described at length in tracts, and
are also published in a volume entitled "Building from the Top, and
other Stories;" but, notwithstanding this, a brief allusion to them in
this narrative may not be out of place, being so particularly connected
with the work here.

A woman called me into her cottage one morning as I was passing by, and
told me of her son, a steady young man, though still unconverted, for
whom she had prayed continually ever since his birth. She said, when he
was a very little child, she heard him one night sobbing and praying in
his room--"O Lord, save me up for a good boy!" She thought this was in
answer to her supplication; but as he grew up he became thoughtless and
careless, like too many others of his age.

"Some five or six months ago," she said, "he had a dream or vision, and
saw you so plainly that he pointed you out to me, among other clergymen,
and said, 'Mother, that man is to be our minister one I saw him a little
time ago, in a dream, as plainly as I see him now; I know that is the
man.' We did not know who you were then, or where you came from, and
never saw you again till you came lately to this parish to be our
minister.

"Last night," continued the mother, "after he returned from church, my
William was very unhappy and restless; and in the night I heard him
crying and praying aloud for mercy, in great distress. He told me this
morning, when I asked him about it, that he dreamt that the last day was
come, and that the world was on fire: and he began immediately to try to
pray, but could not; yet he went on trying till he heard some one laugh
out at him, and say, 'Ho! ho! my boy, you are too late!--ho! ho!--too
late! I have got you now---you are too late!' This frightened him so
much that he woke up, and getting out of bed, began on his knees to pray
in earnest for the Lord to have mercy on his soul."

Being much interested in the young man, I begged her to send him to me
in the evening. She did so; and when he arrived I frankly told him what
I had heard about him, and particularly about his distress and prayer
the night before.

"Your mother has prayed for you for years; and when you were a little
boy you prayed the Lord to save you: last night, again, you were
constrained to cry for mercy. These are all tokens of God's good
intentions and purposes towards you. Can you trust Him?" As he hesitated
(for so many like to feel something before they make the venture of
faith), I continued, "These tokens are better than feelings, for they
are facts and sure signs by which you may know that the Lord is calling
you."

We may well understand that it was not long before the Lord, who had so
marvellously opened his eyes to see his sins, enabled him by the same
Spirit to see Jesus as His Saviour, and to rejoice in the forgiveness of
his sins. Then I asked him to sit down again, for I was curious to hear
about the dream or vision which he had had some months before he ever
saw me.

"William," I said, "did you ever see me before I came to this parish?"

"Yes," he replied, "I saw you once in a vision, more than six months
ago!"

"Do you mind telling me about it?"

After a little hesitation, he answered, "I often dream things. One night
I dreamt that I was walking on a wild barren common; there were many
bare places where people had cut turf, and there were prickly
furze-bushes about. I knew there were some did open mine-shafts there,
for people sometimes fell into them at night; but I was walking along
without thinking of danger, and was not afraid, though it was dark, and
I was alone. I don't know how long I went on like this, but next I found
I was walking with you. I could see you very plainly, just as if it had
not been dark, and you were talking about Jesus and His love to sinners.
I liked your words very much, and was so taken up with them that I do
not know when it became light; for now I could see the rough common, and
a path, and we were walking in it. Going along this path, we came to a
wall, and I could not go any further; but you walked on as if there were
no wall. Presently you stopped, and, turning to me, said, 'Why don't you
come on?'

"I answered, 'I cannot.'"

"Why not?"

"Because there is a wall here."

"No," you said, "there is no wall--it is an open door."

"I was surprised at you saying that, for I feel the wall and see it."

"What would you do if there was no wall? Do that. It is not a wall, but
a door," you said; "walk forward!"

"When I ventured forward I found your were true. It was, indeed, an open
way, leading into a beautiful garden. I was very happy, and said, 'Whose
garden is this?'

"You answered, 'It is the Lord's, and you are to dress it and work in
it."

"Then I saw the Lord Himself. He came forward, and bidding me welcome,
said that you should teach me for three years. Then I awoke."

From this extraordinary narration I gathered three things for myself.

First, that God intended me to come to this place.
Secondly, that I was to labour here for three years.
Thirdly, that I was to teach the people not to wait for feelings, but to
act upon the Word of God.

This last intimation was so clearly signified by William's dream, that
it came upon me with striking force. I had been speaking on this very
subject more than once, and had ventured so far as to say that I thought
this delusion about waiting for feelings was from the devil, to hinder
the work of God in the soul. It certainly did hinder us, very much; and,
moreover, it was most distressing to see people, who were manifestly
impressed under the power of a present God, waiting for Him; because
they did not feel some token, which they had set their minds upon. Day
by day souls were being given in the Church, and also in the cottage
meetings; so that I could not help seeing that the Lord had begun to use
me again. Some came to the meetings who had been awakened under the
ordinary preaching of the Gospel; some because others brought them; and
some out of curiosity. One of the latter cases I will mention.

A married woman, N. R--, heard people talking of the work which was
going on. It seemed to her to be such a strange thing in connection with
a Church minister, that she came to a cottage meeting to judge for
herself, without the remotest idea of being converted. God's ways are
not as ours; while she was listening, the word reached her with power,
so that she was convicted and converted, and came out of that cottage a
rejoicing believer, lost in wonder, love and praise. She was indeed
strikingly and manifestly changed, and did not hide it. It was such a
joy and surprise to her that she could not help telling every one. Out
of the abundance of her heart her lips spoke to tell of the loving
kindness of the Lord.

CHAPTER 32

Bible Readings, 1858-59.

The church (so-called) in which I now ministered had been built by
persons who intended to accommodate the largest number of people for the
smallest amount of money. It was scantily built, and almost square, with
galleries on three sides. On the remaining one there used to be a
pulpit, conspicuously placed in the middle of the wall. This important
portion of the edifice was now removed to one side, to make room for a
Communion table, the seats in front being arranged chancel-wise, facing
one another, for the choir. This was quite a damper to my ecclesiastical
tastes; besides being ugly in the extreme.

I tried by putting ornamental scrolls over the windows, and by staining
the glass in them, to make some improvement. I also painted a diaper
pattern round the side walls; and upon the high blank wall behind the
Communion table exercised all the skill I possessed, but fear it was
somewhat in vain, though I laboured hard. The designs looked very well
on paper, but when displayed on the wall gave no satisfaction; so one
after another they disappeared, till my dissolving views, as they were
called, ended in a large floriated cross of gold, with a monogram
inter-twined in it, on a dark background.

When once, however, the Lord began to bless the Word, and souls were
awakened, despite all anti-ecclesiastical appearances, my heart was
drawn towards the ugly place, and I loved it greatly. I could never have
believed that my former tastes and tendencies could have been so
completely changed as they were.

In those days it was a strange thing to hold an after-meeting in a
church; it was never done, even by the few who had such meetings.
Therefore, I took the anxious ones and others to my own house for the
inquiry meeting, after the evening service. Having taken up the carpet
in the drawing-room, we fitted it up with chairs and forms to
accommodate ninety people, while half as many more occupied the hall,
and often numbers stood outside the windows. In this house it pleased
God to give us very many souls, who were brought in week by week for
several months. I believe every room in that house, like the rooms at
Baldhu Parsonage, was consecrated as the birth-place of one or more of
God's children.

The number of those who attended the after-meeting became so great, that
we found it necessary to go to the large schoolroom. This place will
also be remembered in eternity, and many a soul will say of it, "I was
born there!"

One night, when I returned home from a distant meeting, I was called to
see a person in Feat distress of soul. As I went down the street at
eleven o'clock, I was surprised to see lights in almost all the houses,
and what was more, to hear voices in urgent and importunate prayer, as
also the voice of thanks-giving. The whole street was alive, and indeed
there was a most "joyful noise" on every side. I was praying or
rejoicing in one house or another all through the night, which was one
never to be forgotten.

A glorious work of salvation was going on without the extravagant noise
and excitement we used to have in former years. I was exceedingly
thankful for this also, and began next to consider what was to be done
with these new converts. Besides inviting them to the church services,
for which they needed no pressing, I urged them to read their Bibles at
home, bidding them to mark any passages where they wished for
explanation, that I might have something good and profitable to speak
about when I visited them. Then I invited them to Bible-classes; instead
of to experience meetings, which Cornish people rely upon so much. On
these occasions I endeavoured to instruct the people from God's Word,
and put Christ before them as the object of faith, hope, and love. After
prayer I encouraged them to ask questions, which made these gatherings
interesting and also instructive on the very points upon which they
required information.

I found that these Bible-classes were a great blessing to those who
attended them, but more than all, perhaps, to myself; watering other
souls with the water of life I was more abundantly watered. The
questions of the people drew my attention to distinctions and
differences I had not noticed before, and helped to take off the
coloured glasses through which I had hitherto read the Word.

I observed that the third, sixth, and twentieth chapters of St. John's
Gospel had been held and interpreted by me in a way that I now saw to be
altogether wrong. I had taken the first of these as bearing on Baptism,
the second on the Holy Communion, and the third on Priestly Absolution.

I pondered much over these chapters, and marvelled how they could have
been so diverted from their original and obvious meaning; and, more
wonderful still, that countless millions in Christendom had so received
them for many generations. It was a bold thing, and seemingly
presumptuous to suppose that I was right and all Christendom wrong; but
I soon found that mine was no new discovery, and that if millions who
followed traditions without comparing them with the Bible, thought on
one side, there were also millions who did read their Bibles, and
thought on the other.

It was perfectly clear, moreover, that one obvious motive or policy had
dictated the false application of the three chapters. It will be
observed that priest rule is established in them; for, according to this
teaching, no one can enter the kingdom of God 'without priestly
operation in baptism; no one abide or be fed in it without the same in
Holy Communion; nor any one receive absolution from sin, and final
release from hell to heaven, apart from sacerdotal action.

On the other hand, I saw spiritual men, as sure as they were of their
own existence that their new birth took place, not at baptism, but at
their conversion. Therefore they were convinced that the third chapter
of St. John, in which our Lord's conversation with Nicodemus is
recorded, refers to that spiritual change which takes place at
conversion, and not to baptism, which was not even instituted for two or
three years afterwards (Matt. 28:19).

Again, as to the sixth chapter. A spiritual man knows that he feeds
continually on the body and blood of Christ, it is the "Bread which came
down from heaven" for him. The Lord said, "He that eateth Me, even he
shall live by Me" (John 6:57). They know how they received spiritual
life, and also how it is continually maintained; therefore they could
not allow themselves to be carried away with such a palpable fiction as
transubstantiation, or any other doctrine kindred to it. The sixth
chapter does not refer to the Lord's supper, but the Lord's Supper
refers to the reality which is mentioned in it.

Lastly, as to the twentieth chapter of St. John, on the authority of
which it is supposed and asserted that Christ left power with His Church
and priests to forgive sins. Of this we may say, He has not delegated
any such powers at all. When He gave commissions to His disciples (not
exclusively to the apostles), He said, "Lo, I am with you." Our power is
not imparted to us from Him, but is in Him. We have no power at all, but
in Him, and no grace but 'that which is in Christ Jesus (2 Tim. 2:1). It
is His presence, His real, promised presence by the Holy Ghost, which is
spiritual power; and this is given directly to individuals by God
Himself, and is not transmitted through other channels.

The Lord Jesus, on His resurrection day, said to His disciples, in the
upper room--and, be it remembered, that all the eleven were not there
(and some women may have been)--"Peace be unto you. Receive ye the Holy
Ghost: Whose soever sins ye remit, 'they are remitted unto them; and
whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained" (John 20:23).

Is it possible or reasonable to suppose that our Lord intended by these
words to constitute all that assembly absolving priests? The apostles
and early Christians (both men and women) never thought so, either
before or even after the day of Pentecost, when they were taught and led
by the Holy Ghost. The apostles did not exercise any so-called priestly
functions; they all preached the Gospel, and as ministers and witnesses,
declared, through Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of sins. Their testimony
was then, as such testimony will ever be, the savour of life or the
savour of death. It was thus they remitted and retained sins; and yet
not they, but God by them.

While I was thus ruminating, a book came into my hands which interested
me greatly. This I read and re-read, and made an abstract of it. It was
the "Life of Adelaide Newton." What struck me in it so much was, to find
that this lady was able to hold spiritual communion with God by means of
a Bible only. Is it possible, I thought, to have such close communion
with God, apart from the Church and her ministrations? I do not hesitate
to say that this was the means, under God, of stripping off some remains
of my grave-clothes, and enabling me to walk in spiritual liberty,
instead of legal and sacramental bond age.

Human reasoning would say, "What, then, is the use of ministry and
sacraments? Let us dispense with them, and be independent of them
altogether." This is no better than saying that we will continue in sin
that grace may abound; and the same answer which the apostle gives will
do for this also: "God forbid!"

It does not follow, because some people make too much of ministry and
sacraments, making them absolutely necessary to salvation, that we
should, on the other hand, disregard them. There is another and happier
alternative, and that is, to realize they were made for us, not we for
them; therefore we should not be subject to them, but rather they should
be subject to us, and be used by us, not in order to obtain God's grace
and salvation, but to show that we have already done so. In our
obedience to God's ordinances, we acknowledge our allegiance to Him, and
our submission to His will.

For fear that my people should go off, as too many do, into disregard of
the "means of grace," because sacramental people make too much of them,
I began a class for exposition and explanation of the Prayer-book. I
commenced by showing them that the Church of England is the Lord's
candlestick in this country, not the candle, and certainly not the
light, but the candlestick which the Lord set up here, possibly even as
'early as the days of the apostles, to show the true light, which is
Christ. And though, Romish corruptions supervened, it pleased God, at;
the time of the Reformation, to raise up men to deliver us from them,
and to restore true Bible teaching.

Thus I endeavoured to show them, that the system of the Church of
England was one which should commend itself to their regard, as quite
agreeable to Scripture; and if it is not carried out according to its
intention, that is not the fault of the system, but rather of those who
administer it. Next, as to worship.

The object of our assembling in the house of God is not, I said, so much
to hear sermons, or get instruction, as in Bible, or other classes, but
rather "to render thanks for the great benefits we have received at
God's hands, to set forth His most worthy praise, to hear His most holy
word, and to ask those things which are requisite and necessary as well
for the body as the soul." That worship is devotion towards God; it
consists more in giving than in getting. Some of the people were greatly
interested when I pointed out to them, that the order of our Service was
exactly the same as the order of theft spiritual experience, in
conviction, conversion, and Christian life.

For example, the Morning Service begins with a sentence such as, "To the
Lord our God belong mercies and forgivenesses, though we have rebelled
against Him;" then comes the exhortation, which moves us to surrender
ourselves; then the confession, which is the act of surrender.
Immediately after this is declared the absolution and forgiveness of
sins, "to all who truly repent, and unfeignedly believe the Gospel."

Then comes the Lord's Prayer, which leads us, at once, into the place of
children, accepted in the Beloved: then follow acts of thanksgiving":--

"Open Thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Thy praise."

"Oh, come let us sing unto the Lord, let us heartily rejoice in the
strength of our salvation."

These, and such-like explanations, helped to enlist the interest of the
people; and when, as before, they only used to endure the prayers, while
waiting for the sermon, now they engaged in them intelligently, and even
with more delight than in extempore prayer.

As to the Communion Service I bade them notice that it begins with the
Lord's Prayer, in which we draw near to our Father, not as sinners, but
as His children; asking for a clean heart and for grace to live
according to His will; then, we approach the table, unworthy, indeed, to
take even the crumbs under it, but trusting in His mercy. We do not go
there to offer a sacrifice of Christ's body, but of our own as a
thanksgiving to God, offering and presenting ourselves--spirit, soul,
and body--a living sacrifice to His service.

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