Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent by William Carleton

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The living of Castle Cumber, left vacant by the promotion of Mr. Lucre
to a Bishopric, was given to an Englishman, as was then the practice,
and would be now, were it not for the influence of common shame and
public opinion.

Mr. Clement opened an Academy in Castle Cumber, and succeeded; for he
thought it a wiser thing to live by teaching a school, than to suffer
his large family and himself to starve by the gospel.

We now beg to close, by a paragraph from the True Blue:--

"_Elevation of the Rev. Dr. Lucre to the See of ------_

"For many years a duty at once so painful and so delightful, has not
devolved upon us as a public journalist. The elevation of the
Right Rev., Father in God,, Phineas Lucre to the See of ------, is a
dispensation to our Irish Establishment which argues the beneficent
hand of a wise and overruling Providence. In him we may well say, that
another bright and lustrous star is added to that dark, but beautiful
galaxy, in the nether heavens above us, which is composed of our blessed
Bishops. The diocese over which he has been called by the Holy Spirit
to preside, will know, as they ought, how to appreciate his learning and
attainments. But what shall we say of the poor of Castle Cumber, to whom
he has been such a kind, meek, charitable, and consoling dispenser
of God's gifts and God's word? At the bed of death, of disease, of
poverty--at every post, no matter how poor, low, neglected, or how
dangerous--there was he to be found, the champion of God--fighting his
battles in peace, self-denial, and charity. It is true, he is not an
Irishman; but is it not a blessed thing that such links of love as he,
and of those who resemble him, should continue to bind the virtues
of the two churches, and the two countries together? His Lordship was
consecrated on last Sunday, by that Right Rev. and blessedly facetious
prelate, Archbishop Drapely, who, in addition to his other evangelical
gifts, is said to be a perfect Toler in canonicals. It is not often that
so much piety proceeds from so comic a source."

Our readers can scarcely forget the circumstances of Mr. Lucre's
departure out of this wicked, ungodly, and sensual world. About eight
years ago, or less, he died in a very pious fit of apoplectic passion,
brought on by his cook, in consequence of that important functionary
having neglected the apostolic duty of dressing a haunch of venison, we
presume, upon scriptural authority. We regret to say, for the sake of
the Church, and the loss which she sustained in consequence, that the
haunch in question was considerably overdone--a fact which one would
scarcely imagine could have produced such important results upon the
religion of the country as it did by his death.

With respect to Counsellor Browbeater, we have only to say, that the
government of that period, having got out of him all the dirty work of
which he was capable, felt extremely anxious to get rid of him as easily
and safely as they could. Browbeater, however, who was a most insatiable
leech, stuck to them, knowing that they could not well discharge him
without a character. He was made a master in chancery, and had the honor
of succeeding old Tom Silver, a lawyer, a gentleman, an orator, and a
man of honor and integrity! And only think of Browbeater succeeding such
an office, as excellent, respected, and admirable Tom Silver left behind
him!