Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine Vol. 56, No. 346, August, 1844 by Various

V >> Various >> Blackwood\'s Edinburgh Magazine Vol. 56, No. 346, August, 1844

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"'Oho!' thought Klaus, 'godfather is lighting his pipe, is he? We shall
soon see, then, how the world wags with him. Hollo! Godfather
Stringstriker, be good and kind to your child, and show yourself. Tell
me, dear godfather, how I am to fill my money-bags again; for you know
who had the emptying of them! There's a nice dear old gentleman, come
out to me--I do so long to see you!'

"It was all very proper for Klaus to evince such amiability, but it had
not the effect intended. Not a sound could he hear in reply. He waited
for a space; then bellowed again into the open air--waited again, and
holloed again. But all was quiet save the water of the spring which
purled amongst the pebbles, and the grassy reeds that rustled and sighed
through the mist, now reeking thicker and thicker around the speaker and
his sorry jade. Klaus waxed spiteful.

"'Godfather!' he cried, striking poor Whiteface in his wrath, 'thou art
a thick-lipped, crooked-legged lubber; that's what you are! Every
question is worth an answer; it is a rule that holds good with man and
beast; and why not amongst ghosts? Why did you beckon to me yesterday if
you did not mean to show? You invited me here, and now that I have come,
the tortoise creeps into his hole. You are a cruel, hard-hearted
godfather. But never mind--good-night, Dwarf-piper Here's a present for
thee. I bear thee no malice!'

"So speaking, Klaus threw a pocket-knife into the well, which he passed
at the moment. The knife dropped into the water; a flame shot suddenly
up, and was as quickly out. Klaus pressed his nag again; but the poor
beast reared, snorted, and dragged at the gearing, without being able to
move the cart an inch. The fog severed a little, and the moonbeams lay
in great beauty upon a hundred acres. Klaus attempted to give his animal
ease; but let Whiteface tug as she would, the cart stood still as if it
had been frost-bound.

"'That ugly thick head of godfather's has certainly caught amongst the
felloes," said Klaus, almost worried to death, and looking about him
half-curiously, half-timorously. It wanted very little to pitch him
backwards out of the vehicle, so astonished and affrighted was he with
all that he beheld. The ghost-seer had seen many sights, but this
beggared them all. His cart, in length and breadth, was covered with
millions of dwarfs; every fir-spray, every dark green spike of a leaf,
every pole, nay, even wheels and wheelspokes to the nave itself, were
beset with the creatures. And what were they all about? Tiny, miraculous
beings! labouring with unexampled diligence at the prettiest
dancing-pumps ever seen! The Lilliput shoelings glistered like Spelt in
the tiny brown hands of the workmen, as, turned to and fro, they came
under the numerous and almost invisible hammers and awls. Every
brilliant pair finished, and out of hand, was briskly strung up on
cobwebs, with which the cart, vaultwise, was overwoven; and upon which,
at the very first glance, Klaus himself could count more than three
hundred thousand finished shoes. The astounded waggoner could for a long
time do nothing more than fold his arms, and stare on in silence. The
little rogues looked inexpressibly comical, it must be confessed. They
were exactly half an inch in length, with great thick heads, on which
were fixed leathern-coloured caps, at least six times the size, every
one being decorated in front, by way of clasp, with a tiny glow-worm.
Their legs were very slender and very crooked, although their feet were
delicate and beautifully formed. Their little bodies, endowed in excess
with high shoulders, were clad in fine dark-brown satin jackets, and about
the waist were girdles of glistening silver, from which jingled the
needful workman's apparatus. As soon as one of the little fellows had to
hammer a sole, he adroitly tucked round his left leg, and, upon his tiny
heel, beat out the bit of leather into order.

"'This must be profitable work any how!' quoth Klaus, breaking out at
length, and, at the instant, the busy workers raised their headikins,
and goggled so drolly at the young boor, that the latter was seized with
a laughter which he found it impossible to control. The Dwarfs were set
off also, and for some time they roared together; that is to say, Klaus
roared, but the voicelets of the Dwarfs sounded only like a light
whisper. Their laughing, however, did not prevent the smoking of their
twirling-stick pipes, which they seemed to take much delight in; each
Dwarf, it must be known, carrying in his mouth the strangest little
twirling-stick, the four little arms of which reeked like pipe-heads.

"'If it is quite allowable, gentlemen!' said Klaus, taking off his hat--
a politeness which was immediately responded to by every dwarf--'I
should be glad to have a minute's chat with you; and to ask, first and
foremost, for whom all this tremendous stock is that you are finishing
off so busily and magnificently?'

"One of the cordwainers fastened the shoe that he had just finished,
close before the young boor's eyes, upon the cobweb; then he folded his
arms in imitation of Klaus, stared at him roguishly, and answered,

"'They are dancing-pumps for thy wedding, Klaus!'

"'For my what?' exclaimed the youth.

"'Thy wedding, Klaus!'

"'Ah, my pretty shoemakers, that's a long way off, I fear. Annie has no
great longing to milk the spiders in my stalls, and who can blame her?
But who gave you the order? Who took the measures? I guess our Marthas
and Marys will want a considerable shoe-horn to get the pumps on, if the
greater number don't prove misfits!'

"The Dwarfs laughed and clapped their hands for joy, nodding to one
another with such vivacity, that the glow-worms upon their bonnets flew
one amongst another.

"'Don't believe it, gossip--don't believe it,' rejoined the spokesman.
'We work for ourselves only. We mean to dance at thy wedding--every one
of us, regularly one after the other, with thy virtuous bride."

"'What! all of you?' asked Nicholas, hurriedly.

"'All, all! as many of us as there are pairs of shoes!'

"'Thank you for nothing!' returned Klaus. 'Why, you would make me a
widower before my wedding was over. Annie is a good strapping girl I
know, and she carries her bushel of winter wheat, in defiance of
Geordie, the miller's man, up three flights without stop or sigh; and
that, from old time, has always been with us a sign of sound lungs: but
a man can't drink, my little cobblers, beyond his thirst. You
understand? Now would it not be better--mind you I am much obliged to
you for the honour, all the same--if you sent a few delegates, say two
or three; wouldn't that be more considerate to the lady, and show your
politeness just as well?'

"'Not a bit of it, not a bit of it!' screamed the broad-bonnets. 'We
must all eat, and all dance!'

"'Just like all the world!' muttered Klaus to himself. 'If you invite
one of the townsfolk to a church ale he'll take three cakes for one, and
stuff himself till the steps groan as he goes down again. I say,
gentlemen,' he continued, turning to the Dwarfs, 'are you aware that I
am your king's godson, and on the most intimate terms with him?'

"'And that thy father made him fiddle himself to death?' answered the
little one resentfully; 'and that thou hast grown a good-for-nought,
ready to bung up our whole gracious kingdom in a mouse-hole, had'st thou
thy will? Eh, Master Nicholas?"

'Ah, don't be too hard now! Recollect what your king did to my father,
and all that I have suffered for the last six months. Look at me! Hasn't
Gossip Crookleg stripped me of money, field, and house?'

Again the dwarfs laughed.

'Ha, Klaus!' said the speaker, "Tell us, now, wouldn't you like to see
all that went out at the doors fly in again, ere to-morrow, at the
windows?"

'Only tell me,' said Klaus quickly, 'how to fill my bags again, and I
invite you all, every man Jack of you, to the wedding. There's nothing
like shaking hands and being friends again. Forget and forgive, say I!'

'And Annie dances with us?' interposed the Dwarf with eagerness,
swinging a pair of newly-made shoes at the same time so impetuously that
they slipped out of his hand, and dropped just into the young boor's
lap.

'Hollo! I didn't say that!' cried Klaus. 'I'll turn that over in my
mind, and give you an answer in the morning.'

A marvellous kind of whining interrupted the discourse. The innumerable
band of dwarfs pulled the drollest faces, folded their handikins, and
made the most lamentable gesticulations; but the speaker slid like a
spider, upon one of the threads which canopied over the cart, down into
Klaus's lap; thence he clambered up his jacket, and mounted until he
reached the youngster's hand--'Give me the shoes!' he exclaimed
maliciously, snatching and catching at the lost property.

"'Not so, not so, dear cousin Broadcap. This bit of workmanship will I
hoard up against my marriage, when I promise to put them on you myself,
if you will visit me.'

"'No, no, no--give me the shoes!' said the Dwarf fiercely, stamping with
both feet, and lifting his manikin fists in menace against Klaus. 'I
must and will have the shoes!'

"The remaining dwarfs again set up their sorrowful whine; and then Klaus
became aware that an accident had happened which, with prudence, might
be turned to great account.

"'Now, fine fellows, listen to me!' said he. 'The shoes you don't have
back. But if you will promise to set me to rights again with your king
and people, and to give me only the neediest livelihood, then are you
welcome to my wedding, to eat and dance as much as you like.

"'Well, Klaus!' answered the Dwarf, 'I see thou hast the best of us; and
we have no time to spend in disputation. In thirteen hours from this, we
must breathe upon the silver veins of the earth, that they may keep
nicely fresh, and in good growth. But an thou wilt hold faith with us,
hear my proposal. Come hither again to-morrow evening, and strike with
that sprig of yew, that hangs down below thee, into the well water. So,
perchance, shalt thou learn what is best to do. Quick, yea or nay?'

"'There can be little harm in that!' returned the farmer. 'I
answer--_yea!_'

"'Brrrr----!' snarled and whizzled behind him all over the cart. The
dwarfs tumbled down from every twig, bough, spoke, and felloe, and
vanished in one large pointed flame, that could be seen for a second
blazing from the well.

"Baldface took fright, tore from the spot, and galloped as if for life
and death, over stock and stone, until the village was reached. As for
Klaus, he did not recover his senses until he found himself again in his
own farmyard.

"It was with solicitude and a beating heart that Nicholas awaited the
arrival of the next evening. In the meanwhile, he took another and more
exact survey of his already half-ruined house; and the result was so
melancholy that he felt he must stake life itself for the chance of
bettering his fortune. There was not a beam, a board, a rafter, a lath,
in the whole house that was not ready, upon the slightest assault, to go
to wreck. Of glass windows the rumour was long since extinct. All stood
open; and had Klaus been a student of meteorology, a better observatory
than his loopholed, tumble-down homestead could not have been to be had.
He returned from his tour of inspection more firmly resolved than ever
to risk his adventure; and as soon as the sun was set, and the moon
traced darker shadows upon the ground, he took his yew-branch and
dwarfs' shoes, and set out.

"Klaus made a long circuit, and lingered a long time in the fields,
before he could summon courage to approach the spring. He plucked up a
heart at last, struck a light, and lit his pipe. Thus armed, he advanced
to the well. The yew-twig struck the bright motionless water, and
strongly agitated it. The stream exundated on every side; kindled as it
mounted, and, tumbling and commingling, in a few seconds, like an
enormous flame of fire, rolled forwards and backwards round the margin
of the fountain.

"Klaus steadily regarded the mysterious phantasm. The flame enringed the
whole well, and at length falling back, in an incomprehensible manner,
into itself, began to darken, and to emit vapour. In the midst of the
smoke, the young boor recognized Godfather Stringstriker. He was sitting
upon a crystal throne, a-squat, with his crooked legs tucked under him,
smoking with exquisite complacency a pipe as thick as his arm,
terminating in a bowl as large as his head. He seemed wholly occupied in
tracing the progress of the massive curls of smoke, which gushed
abundantly from his capacious mouth, and took no notice of his godchild.
It was left to young Nicholas, therefore, to commence the colloquy.

"'Good even, godfather!' said the lad, not quite at ease. 'I hope you
enjoy your evening pipe. You need something to keep yourself warm and
comfortable. The air strikes chilly hereabouts!'

"A smile diffused itself over the whole breadth of the dwarf's face, and
he puffed away for his life.

"'You're i' th' right, Godson Klaus. I like my bit of pipe! That I can
say, and honestly. It's good tobacco, too; a little dear, no doubt, but
fairly earned. Wilt try a Whiff?'

"'I--I--I am much obliged, Godfather Stringstriker, but I am no great
smoker, and I like to stick to one sort--Porto-rico--threepence a
packet. Would you like to taste it?'

"'Cabbage!' rejoined the Dwarf, contemptuously. 'Tobacco, to be good,
must smell like mine. Here, put your nose to it. It's Hungarian of the
best!'

"The Dwarf pushed out his broad hand, and Klaus stooped towards it. His
heart leaped into his throat as he gazed upon a dozen or two of the
purest Kremnitz ducats. He darted at them like a tiger; but the Dwarf
was prepared for him.

"'Not so, not so!' replied the latter, drawing his hand back. 'Ere thou
have them, we must strike a bargain.'

"And with these words the Dwarf took up his pipe, which only a moment
before he had laid aside. The attention of young Nicholas was drawn more
closely to it by the movement, and he perceived, for the first time,
that the colossal bowl was neither more nor less than a bald, smooth,
and perfectly white human skull. A closer inspection convinced him that
it was that of his own deceased and venerated parent. Above, upon the
forehead, there was a moveable clapper, through which the superfluous
smoke ascended; the tube was fixed in the mouth, and the eye-holes were
continually supplied with gold pieces by a couple of thousand of
indefatigable dwarfs, twenty or thirty of whom tugged along one ducat,
and were sorely put to it to bring it to the proper place. Klaus was
almost unsettled by the discovery.

"'I see,' he said with an unsteady, tremulous voice--'I see, godfather,
you have quite a new-fashioned headpiece there. Is it your own
particular fancy, or a new French mode?'

"'Quite my own private and individual _gout_, godson Klaus!' answered
the Dwarf proudly. 'The flavour is perfect out of an old rogue's skull,
that has been danced to death. When it is thoroughly smoke-seasoned, I
expect the Grand Turk will give me a million piasters for it. Before
then I must look about, and get me another. Heark'ee, godson! how clear
it rings already!' And before Klaus could get in a word, the Dwarf gave
the well-smoked skull a dozen unmerciful kicks with his heavy topboots.

"'For God's sake, godfather Stringstriker,' exclaimed Klaus, 'have some
discretion, or I shall forget myself, and fall foul of you! What! do you
think a child has no feeling for his dead parents? and is that a
respectable way of treating your friends?'

"'Spare your breath, child!' interposed the Dwarf; 'talking makes no
headway with men of my stamp. Let us come to an understanding! Tell me,
Klaus--art thou content that, in ten years' time, when this pipe-head is
handed over to the Grand Turk, to give up thy numskull for my evening
pipe? I own to thee, I envy it. It is of first-rate thickness, and would
smoke a pretty while, for thou dost hold, I think, a good quantity.'

"'Come to an end--out with it all, godfather!' said Klaus in a tone of
wretchedness. 'What do you wish me to do? I am willing to fast till I
die of hunger, and whatever is humanly possible to perform, I will do;
but as to your cursed head-smoking, I tell you, once for all, it's out
of the question. The thing must be put an end to; for it is a disgrace
to me, and a shame to all Christendom!'

"As Klaus spoke in sheer vexation, he smote several times with his
yew-slip into the water of the well, without noticing that the clear
flood swelled over upon all sides like a lightning fire-glow; whilst a
whining moan was plainly audible. The Dwarf put on a very serious
countenance, his pipe slipped from his mouth, and, in a completely
altered tone, he rejoined--

"'Godchild Klaus, take heed to me! I like your ways, and will make you a
well-meant offer. As for this head here,' and he knocked the ducat-ashes
out of Simon's skull--'it shall be transferred to thee, and thou shalt
keep thine own too, provided thou wilt give me back the two shoes which
yesterday one of my merry pages lost. What say you to it?'

"'Eh! what?' said Nicholas, in doubt.

"'Give me the shoes!' repeated Stringstriker.

"'Now look you, godfather!' said Klaus determinedly, 'what if I accept
your proposal! Here are your shoes, and you are welcome to them. But I
ask you, is life worth having, if I am to be for ever a poor eschewed,
scoffed, and scorned castaway? The devil a bit you care for what the
world says; but one of us, who is a mere man, spitted upon by a whole
village, feels what it is to be poor and contemned. I tell you boldly,
godfather, and on my very heart, you must put an end to my misery--for
you can do it. Give me back my money and land, and make me honourable
amongst my neighbours. I can't sit alone like a night-owl in my hovel. I
like to have my fellow-creatures about me, to eat bread and drink water,
or it may be a draught of beer with me. I can't live the life of a
blessed hermit. I am, as you know, but a simple plain fellow, a boor, a
foolish forlorn lad, the unhappy son of poor Mike, danced to death for
his sins.'

"Here Nicholas stopped, sobbing piteously, and dropping big and heavy
tears, that found their way to the well beneath him.

"'Have you done?' said Stringstriker.

"'I have nothing more to say, godfather,' sighed the lad; 'only be kind,
and put all to rights again. I have paid dearly for cursing you upon
occasion, and now I humbly ask your pardon for my fault. Give me a
handful or two of ducats, that I may get my barn repaired, marry my poor
Annie, and again set up for an honest boor. If you will do this,
Godfather Stringstriker, your children shall dance at my marriage, and
here are your shoes!'

"'A bargain, godson!' said the Dwarf. 'Thou art a right sort of lad, and
I will help thee. My children must have their shoes too; for by the loss
of them they have gone already a great stride back in their education.
Thou canst hear how they cry and beg, the poor things! Come here, and
dip into thy father's head. The poor dog no longer feels it. So! that'll
do. For the skull, concern thee no further. In a quarter of an hour, it
shall be where it should be. But now, I rede thee, look that thou art
presently ready to marry, and neglect not bidding good plenty of guests;
but invite especially those that have hitherto tightly toused, mocked,
and scorned thee. If thou hast lack of coin, thou wottest where
Godfather Stringstriker dwells. On thy wedding-day, send hither thy
three largest waggons, and to each a team of four strong horses, for I
shall load them heavily--and hear'st, Godson Klaus? they shall drive
nice and slowly round about the springlet, and then away again at a good
gallop back to thy farm-yard. As to thyself, mark me, Klaus! upon thy
wedding-day thou shalt stick a yew-leaf in thy left ear, and, as soon as
I sign to thee, throw some handfuls of the like upon all the tables.
Now, at once, good-night!'

"The shoes were already delivered up. There was a hissing in the air,
the water in the well moved in luminous circles, and a hearty laughter
seemed to force its way out of all the fissures of the earth. All was
then still. The moon burst forth, and shone so brightly that one might
have looked for a pin. Klaus felt his good gold in his pockets, and
returned gleesome, and in ease of heart, back to his ruinous house.

"After a night spent in pleasant dreams, Klaus reckoned up his cash, and
found it sufficient to procure some horses, a few cows, waggon, and
gearing. As to the repairs of the mansion, his notion was to do at first
only the indispensable, clearly discerning that, in order to live
comfortably in future, an entire pulling down and rebuilding was
inevitable. He was much more bent upon reappearing as a man of money and
estate in the eyes of his fellow farmers. His first care, accordingly,
was to hire domestics, male and female, to rig himself out a little, and
then, without delay, to push on the preparations for his marriage.

"In less than a fortnight, every thing requisite was done, and the
neighbours opened their eyes to thrice their usual size as they suddenly
saw life moving again in Nicholas's farmhouse--active labourers once
more in his fields. Their astonishment increased upon hearing, next
Sunday, the banns published from the pulpit. But when, a week
afterwards, the functionary whose office it was, with silver-headed
cane, velvet waistcoat and frill, to bid the guests to the approaching
wedding, appeared upon the farms of those who, a little before, were
Klaus's most memorable calumniators, and invited all, without exception,
to the merry-making, then indeed, as if by magic, did the despised Lying
Klaus become 'a worthy creature after all,' 'a capital fellow at last,'
and have his praises echoed from every beer-bench in the parish. Nobody
ever thought of asking how Klaus got possessed of his new money. He had
it; that fact was all-sufficient for the multitude. One or two might
itch to make their comments upon the quick metamorphosis, but self-love
kept them quiet; for every man already licked his lips in anticipation
of the marriage-feast that awaited all.

"The preparations for the wedding were busily pushed on. Joiners and
carpenters were closing windows, and fastening tottering beams from
morning till night. Walls were broken down, and kitchens built up.
Nothing had been seen like it by 'the oldest inhabitant.'

"Well, time ran on, and the banns were three times called; there was the
spousal at the parsonage, the fetching of the bride by the bridegroom,
with an escort of musicians, and at length there was the marriage
ceremony itself--all happily got through. The guests, men and women,
were numerous, and amongst them not a few who, for a sennight, had lived
on half-allowance, the better and more steadily to devour at Klaus's
marriage.

"In due time, orders were given to take the three largest waggons to the
Dwarf's well, to drive slowly round this thrice, and then to push back
at a gallop. The servants did not dare to refuse their master's bidding;
but they shook their heads significantly when they received their
strange commission, and suspected, firm and fast, that Klaus, in his
excessive joy, had already drunk a cup or two beyond his thirst.

"The pastor, sitting at the right hand of the bride, had said grace, and
the schoolmaster and the marriage-entreater were about commencing the
distribution of the enormous masses of carp, beneath which the tables
fairly groaned, when the rattle of the three returning waggons made
known to Klaus the arrival of his subterranean guests. His heart beat
violently, for at the same instant a well-known whispering and humming
met his ear. In obedience to command, he secured the yew-leaf in his
left ear, and prepared himself for what might follow. He expected much,
but what he saw almost threw him from his seat with astonishment.

"Wherever there was an aperture, a split, or a rent in walls, windows,
doors, there came in the dwarfs by hundreds: so as that in a few minutes
the whole space was swarming with the little ones. They were most
smartly dressed, just as Klaus had previously seen them, only that now,
instead of the top boots, they wore those delicate dancing-pumps, upon
which the young husbandman had at first caught them at work.

"Klaus attentively noted whether any of his guests had a suspicion of
the apparition of these earth mannikins, but there was not a sign of it.
The gentlemen forked away gallantly, and the tankards were not running
over. As the bridegroom saw the spiritual company still gliding in, so
that their number amounted already to hundreds of thousands, and
stove-cornices, window-sills, joint-stools, and backs of chairs were
thickly beset with the comical companions, he began to be uneasy. He
feared lest the brothers of the bride, who were waiting upon the guests,
might trample the small brood into fine dust; and in order to divert at
least all blame from himself, he addressed himself to his godfather,
then approaching him.

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