Varney the Vampire by Thomas Preskett Prest

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It was to be considered quite as a whim of the old admiral's, the
changing of Charles Holland's name to Bell; but, as Charles himself said
when the subject was broached to him,--"I am so well content to be
called whatever those to whom I feel affection think proper, that I give
up my name of Holland without a pang, willingly adopting in its stead
one that has always been hallowed in my remembrance with the best and
kindest recollections."

And thus this affair was settled, much to the satisfaction of Flora, who
was quite as well content to be called Mrs. Bell as to be called Mrs.
Holland, since the object of her attachment remained the same. The
wedding was really fixed for the week after that which followed the
conversation we have recorded; but the admiral was not at all disposed
to allow Flora and his nephew Charles to get through such an important
period of their lives without some greater demonstration and show than
could be made from the little cottage where they dwelt; and consequently
he wished that they should leave that and proceed at once to a larger
mansion, which he had his eye upon a few miles off, and which was to be
had furnished for a time, at the pleasure of any one.

"And we won't shut ourselves up," said the admiral; "but we will find
out all the Christian-like people in the neighbourhood, and invite them
to the wedding, and we will have a jolly good breakfast together, and
lots of music, and a famous lunch; and, after that, a dinner, and then a
dance, and all that sort of thing; so that there shall be no want of
fun."

As may be well supposed, both Charles and Flora shrunk from so public an
affair; but, as the old man had evidently set his heart upon it, they
did not like to say they positively would not; so, after a vain attempt
to dissuade him from removing at all from the cottage until they removed
for good, they gave up the point to him, and he had it all his own way.

He took the house, for one month, which had so taken his fancy, and
certainly a pretty enough place it was, although they found out
afterwards, that why it was he was so charmed with it consisted in the
fact that it bore the name of a vessel which he had once commanded; but
this they did not know until a long time afterwards, when it slipped out
by mere accident.

They stipulated with the admiral that there should not be more than
twenty guests at the breakfast which was to succeed the marriage
ceremony; and to that he acceded; but Henry whispered to Charles
Holland,--

"I know this public wedding to be distasteful to you, and most
particularly do I know it is distasteful to Flora; so, if you do not
mind playing a trick upon the old man, I can very easily put you in the
way of cheating him entirely."

"Indeed; I should like to hear, and, what is more, I should like to
practise, if you think it will not so entirely offend him as to make him
implacable."

"Not at all, not at all; he will laugh himself, when he comes to know
it, as much as any of us; the present difficulty will be to procure
Flora's connivance; but that we must do the best way we can by
persuasion."

What this scheme was will ultimately appear; but, certain it is, that
the old admiral had no suspicion of what was going on, and proceeded to
make all his arrangements accordingly.

From his first arrival in the market town--in the neighbourhood of which
was Bannerworth Hall--it will be recollected that he had taken a great
fancy to the lawyer, in whose name a forged letter had been sent him,
informing him of the fact that his nephew, Charles Holland, intended
marrying into a family of vampyres.

It was this letter, as the reader is aware, which brought the old
admiral and Jack Pringle into the neighbourhood of the Hall; and,
although it was a manoeuvre to get rid of Charles Holland, which failed
most signally, there can be no doubt but that such a letter was the
production of Sir Francis Varney, and that he wrote it for the express
purpose of getting rid of Charles from the Hall, who had begun
materially to interfere with his plans and projects there.

After some conversation with himself, the admiral thought that this
lawyer would be just the man to recommend the proper sort of people to
be invited to the wedding of Charles and Flora; so he wrote to him,
inviting himself to dinner, and received back a very gracious reply from
the lawyer, who declared that the honour of entertaining a gentleman
whom he so much respected as Admiral Bell, was greater than he had a
right to expect by a great deal, and that he should feel most grateful
for his company, and await his coming with the greatest impatience.

"A devilish civil fellow, that attorney," said the admiral, as he put
the letter in his pocket, "and almost enough to put one in conceit of
lawyers."

"Yes," said Jack Pringle, who had overheard the admiral read the letter.

"Yes, we will honour him; and I only hope he will have plenty of grog;
because, you see, if he don't--D--n it! what's that? Can't you keep
things to yourself?"

This latter exclamation arose from the fact that the admiral was so
indignant at Jack for listening to what he had been saying, as to throw
a leaden inkstand, that happened to be upon the table, at his head.

"You mutinous swab!" he said, "cannot a gentleman ask me to dinner, or
cannot I ask myself, without you putting your spoke in the windlass, you
vagabond?"

"Oh! well," said Jack, "if you are out of temper about it, I had better
send my mark to the lawyer, and tell him that we won't come, as it has
made some family differences."

"Family, you thief!" said the admiral. "What do you mean? What family do
you think would own you? D--n me, if I don't think you came over in some
strange ship. But, I tell you what it is, if you interfere in this
matter, I'll be hanged if I don't blow your brains out."

"And you'll be hanged if you do," said Jack, as he walked out of the
room; "so it's all one either way, old fizgig."

"What!" roared the admiral, as he sprang up and ran after Jack. "Have I
lived all these years to be called names in my own ship--I mean my own
house? What does the infernal rascal mean by it?"

The admiral, no doubt, would have pursued Jack very closely, had not
Flora intercepted him, and, by gentle violence, got him back to the
room. No one else could have ventured to have stopped him, but the
affection he had for her was so great that she could really accomplish
almost anything with him; and, by listening quietly to his complaints of
Jack Pringle--which, however, involved a disclosure of the fact which he
had intended to keep to himself, that he had sought the lawyer's
advice--she succeeded in soothing him completely, so that he forgot his
anger in a very short time.

But the old man's anger, although easily aroused, never lasted very
long; and, upon the whole, it was really astonishing what he put up with
from Jack Pringle, in the way of taunts and sneers, of all sorts and
descriptions, and now and then not a little real abuse.

And, probably, he thought likewise that Jack Pringle did not mean what
he said, on the same principle that he (the admiral), when he called
Jack a mutinous swab and a marine, certainly did not mean that Jack was
those things, but merely used them as expletives to express a great
amount of indignation at the moment, because, as may be well supposed,
nothing in the world could be worse, in Admiral Bell's estimation, that
to be a mutinous swab or a marine.

It was rather a wonder, though, that, in his anger some day, he did not
do Jack some mischief; for, as we have had occasion to notice in one or
two cases, the admiral was not extremely particular as to what sorts of
missiles he used when he considered it necessary to throw something at
Jack's head.

It would not have been a surprising thing if Jack had really made some
communication to the lawyer; but he did stop short at that amount of
pleasantry, and, as he himself expressed it, for once in a way he let
the old man please himself.

The admiral soon forgot this little dispute, and then pleased himself
with the idea that he should pass a pleasant day with the attorney.

"Ah! well," he said; "who would have thought that ever I should have
gone and taken dinner with a lawyer--and not only done that, but invited
myself too! It shows us all that there may be some good in all sorts of
men, lawyers included; and I am sure, after this, I ought to begin to
think what I never thought before, and that is, that a marine may
actually be a useful person. It shows that, as one gets older, one gets
wiser."

[Illustration]

It was an immense piece of liberality for a man brought up, as Admiral
Bell had been, in decidedly one of the most prejudiced branches of the
public service, to make any such admissions as these. A very great thing
it was, and showed a liberality of mind such as, even at the present
time, is not readily found.

It is astonishing, as well as amusing, to find how the mind assimilates
itself to the circumstances in which it is placed, and how society,
being cut up into small sections, imagines different things merely as a
consequence of their peculiar application. We shall find that even
people, living at different ends of a city, will look with a sort of
pity and contempt upon each other; and it is much to be regretted that
public writers are found who use what little ability they may possess in
pandering to their feelings.

It was as contemptible and silly as it was reprehensible for a late
celebrated novelist to pretend that he believed there was at place
called Bloomsbury-square, but he really did not know; because that was
merely done for the purpose of raising a silly laugh among persons who
were neither respectable on account of their abilities or their conduct.

But to return from this digression. The admiral, attired in his best
suit, which always consisted of a blue coat, the exact colour of the
navy uniform, an immense pale primrose coloured waistcoat, and white
kerseymere continuations, went to the lawyer's as had been arranged.

If anything at all could flatter the old man's vanity successfully, it
certainly would be the manner in which he was received at the lawyer's
house, where everything was done that could give him satisfaction.

A very handsome repast was laid before him, and, when the cloth was
removed, the admiral broached the subject upon which he wished to ask
the advice of his professional friend. After telling him of the wedding
that was to come off, he said,--

"Now, I have bargained to invite twenty people; and, of course, as that
is exclusive of any of the family, and as I don't know any people about
this neighbourhood except yourself, I want you and your family to come
to start with, and then I want you to find me out some more decent
people to make up the party."

"I feel highly flattered," said the attorney, "that, in such a case as
this, you should have come to me, and my only great fear is, that I
should not be able to give you satisfaction."

"Oh! you needn't be afraid of that; there is no fear on that head; so I
shall leave it all to you to invite the folks that you think proper."

"I will endeavour, certainly, admiral, to do my best. Of course, living
in the town, as I have for many years, I know some very nice people as
well as some very queer ones."

"Oh! we don't want any of the queer ones; but let those who are invited
be frank, hearty, good-tempered people, such as one will be glad to meet
over and over again without any ceremony--none of your simpering people,
who are afraid to laugh for fear of opening their mouths too wide, but
who are so mighty genteel that they are afraid to enjoy anything for
fear it should be vulgar."

"I understand you, admiral, perfectly, and shall endeavour to obey your
instructions to the very letter; but, if I should unfortunately invite
anybody you don't like, you must excuse me for making such a mistake."

"Oh, of course--of course. Never mind that; and, if any disagreeable
fellow comes, we will smother him in some way."

"It would serve him right, for no one ought to make himself
disagreeable, after being honoured with an invitation from you; but I
will be most especially careful, and I hope that such a circumstance
will not occur."

"Never mind. If it should, I'll tell you what I'll do; I'll set Jack
Pringle upon him, and if he don't worry his life out it will be a
strange thing to me."

"Oh," said the lawyer, "I am glad you have mentioned him, for it gives
me an opportunity of saying that I have done all in my power to make him
comfortable."

"All in your power to make him comfortable! What do you mean?"

"I mean that I have placed such a dinner before him as will please him;
I told him to ask for just whatever he likes."

The admiral looked at the lawyer with amazement, for a few moments, in
silence, and then he said,

"D--n it! why, you don't mean to tell me, that that rascal is here."

"Oh, yes; he came about ten minutes I before you arrived, and said you
were coming, and he has been down stairs feasting all the while since."

"Stop a bit. Do you happen to have any loaded fire arms in the house?"

"We have got an old bunderbuss; but what for, admiral?"

"To shoot that scoundrel, Pringle. I'll blow his brains out, as sure as
fate. The impudence of his coming here, directly against my orders,
too."

"My dear sir, calm yourself, and think nothing of it; it's of no
consequence whatever."

"No consequence; where is that blunderbuss of yours? Do you mean to tell
me that mutiny is of no consequence? Give me the blunderbuss."

"But, my clear sir, we only keep it _in terrorem_, and have no bullets."

"Never mind that, we can cram in a handful of nails, or brass buttons,
or hammer up a few halfpence--anything of that sort will do to settle
his business with."

"How do you get on, old Tarbarrel?" said Jack, putting his head in at
the door. "Are you making yourself comfortable? I'll be hanged if I
don't think you have a drop too much already, you look so precious red
about the gills. I have been getting on famous, and I thought I'd just
hop up for a minute to make your mind easy about me, and tell you so."

It was quite evident that Jack had done justice to the good cheer of the
lawyer, for he was rather unsteady, and had to hold by the door-post to
support himself, while there was such a look of contentment upon his
countenance as contrasted with the indignation that was manifest upon
the admiral's face that, as the saying is, it would have made a cat
laugh to see them.

"Be off with ye, Jack," said the lawyer; "be off with ye. Go down stairs
again and enjoy yourself. Don't you see that the admiral is angry with
you."

"Oh, he be bothered," said Jack; "I'll soon settle him if he comes any
of his nonsense; and mind, Mr. Lawyer, whatever you do, don't you give
him too much to drink."

The lawyer ran to the door, and pushed Jack out, for he rightly enough
suspected that the quietness of the admiral was only that calm which
precedes a storm of more than usual amount and magnitude, so he was
anxious to part them at once.

He then set about appeasing, as well as he could, the admiral's anger,
by attributing the perseverance of Jack, in following him wherever he
went, to his great affection for him, which, combined with his
ignorance, might make him often troublesome when he had really no
intention of being so.

This was certainly the best way of appeasing the old man; and, indeed,
the only way in which it could be done successfully, and the proof that
it was so, consisted in the fact, that the admiral did consent, at the
suggestion of the attorney, to forgive Jack once more for the offence he
had committed.

CHAPTER XCVI.

THE BARON TAKES ANDERBURY HOUSE, AND DECIDES UPON GIVING A GRAND
ENTERTAINMENT.

[Illustration]

It was not considered anything extraordinary that, although the Baron
Stolmuyer of Saltzburgh went out with the mysterious stranger who had
arrived at the Anderbury Arms to see him, he should return without him
for certainly he was not bound to bring him back, by any means whatever.

Moreover, he entered the inn so quietly, and with such an appearance of
perfect composure, that no one could have suspected for a moment that he
had been guilty really of the terrific crime which had been laid to his
charge--a crime which few men could have committed in so entirely
unmoved and passionless a manner as he had done it.

But he seemed to consider the taking of a human life as a thing not of
the remotest consequence, and not to be considered at all as a matter
which was to put any one out of the way, but as a thing to be done when
necessity required, with all the ease in the world, without arousing or
awaking any of those feelings of remorse which one would suppose ought
to find a place in the heart of a man who had been guilty of such
monstrous behaviour.

He walked up to his own apartment again, and retired to rest with the
same feeling, apparently, of calmness, and the same ability to taste of
the sweets of repose as had before characterized him.

The stranger's horse, which was a valuable and beautiful animal,
remained in the stable of the inn, and as, of course, that was
considered a guarantee for his return, the landlord, when he himself
retired to rest, left one of his establishment sitting up to let in the
man who now lay so motionless and so frightful in appearance in one of
the ice-wells of the mysterious passage leading from the base of the
cliff, to the grounds of Anderbury House.

But the night wore on, and the man who had been left to let the stranger
in, after making many efforts to keep himself awake, dropped into sound
repose, which he might just as well have done in the first instance,
inasmuch as, although he knew it not, he was engaged in the vain task of
waiting for the dead.

The morning was fresh and beautiful, and, at a far earlier hour than a
person of his quality was expected to make his appearance, the baron
descended from his chamber; for, somehow or other, by common consent, it
seems to be agreed that great personages must be late in rising, and
equally late in going to bed.

But the baron was evidently not so disposed to turn night into day, and
the landlord congratulated himself not a little upon the fact that he
was ready for his illustrious guest when he descended so unexpectedly
from his chamber as he did.

An ample breakfast was disposed of; that is to say, it was placed upon
the table, and charged to the baron, who selected from it what he
pleased; and when the meal was over the landlord ventured to enter the
apartment, and said to him, with all due humility,--

"If you please, sir, Mr. Leek, who has the letting of
Anderbury-on-the-Mount, that is, Anderbury House, as it is usually
called, is here, sir, and would be happy to take your orders as to when
you would be pleased to look at those premises?"

"I shall be ready to go in half a hour," said the baron; "and, as the
distance is not great, I will walk from here to the mansion."

This message was duly communicated to Mr. Leek, who thereupon determined
upon waiting until the baron should announce his readiness to depart
upon the expedition; and he was as good as his word, for, in about
half-an-hour afterwards, he descended to the hall, and then Mr. Leek was
summoned, who came out of the bar with such a grand rush, that he fell
over a mat that was before him, and saluted the baron by digging his
head into his stomach, and then falling sprawling at his feet, and
laying hold of his ankle.

This little incident was duly apologised for, and explained; after which
Mr. Leek walked on through the town, towards Anderbury-on-the-Mount,
followed by the illustrious personage whom he sincerely hoped he should
be able to induce to take it.

It was a curious thing to see how they traversed the streets together;
for while the baron walked right on, and with a solemn and measured
step, Mr. Leek managed to get along a few paces in front of him,
sideways, so that he could keep up a sort of conversation upon the
merits of Anderbury House, and the neighbourhood in general, without
much effort; to which remarks the baron made such suitable and dignified
replies as a baron would be supposed to make.

"You will find, sir," said Mr. Leek, "that everything about Anderbury is
extremely select, and amazingly correct; and I am sure a more delightful
place to live in could not be found."

"Ah!" said the baron; "very likely."

"It's lively, too," continued Mr. Leek; "very lively; and there are two
chapels of ease, besides the church."

"That's a drawback," said the baron.

"A drawback, sir! well, I am sorry I mentioned it; but perhaps you are a
Roman Catholic, sir, and, in that case, the chapels of ease have no
interest for you."

"Not the slightest; but do not, sir, run away with any assumption
concerning my religious opinions, for I am not a Roman Catholic."

"No, sir, no, sir; nor more am I; and, as far as I think, and my opinion
goes, I say, why shouldn't a gentleman with a large fortune be what he
likes, or nothing, if he likes that better? but here we are, sir, close
to one of the entrances of Anderbury House. There are three principal
entrances, you understand, sir, on three sides of the estate, and the
fourth side faces the sea, where there is that mysterious passage that
leads down from the grounds to the beach, which, perhaps, you have heard
of, sir."

"The landlord of the inn mentioned it."

"We consider it a great curiosity, sir, I can assure you, in these
parts--a very great curiosity; and it's an immense advantage to the
house, because, you see, sir, in extremely hot weather, all sorts of
provisions can be taken down there, and kept at such a very low
temperature as to be quite delightful."

"That is an advantage."

Mr. Leek rang the bell that hung over one of the entrances, and his
summons for admission was speedily answered by the old couple who had
charge of the premises, and then, with a view of impressing them with a
notion of the importance of the personage whom he had brought to look at
the place, he said, aloud,--

"The Baron Stoltmayor, of Saltsomething, has come to look at the
premises."

This announcement was received with all due deference and respect, and
the task of showing the baron the premises at once fairly commenced.

"Here you have," said Mr. Leek, assuming an oratorical attitude--"here
you have the umbrageous trees stooping down to dip their leaves in the
purling waters; here you have the sweet foliage lending a delicious
perfume to the balmy air; here you have the murmuring waterfalls playing
music of the spheres to the listening birds, who sit responsive upon the
dancing boughs; here you have all the fragrance of the briny ocean,
mingling with the scent of a bank of violets, and wrapping the senses in
Elysium; here you may never tire of an existence that presents
never-ending charms, and that, in the full enjoyment of which, you may
live far beyond the allotted span of man."

"Enough--enough," said the baron.

"Here you have the choicest exotics taking kindly to a soil gifted by
nature with the most extraordinary powers of production; and all that
can pamper the appetite or yield delight to the senses, is scattered
around by nature with a liberal hand. It is quite impossible that
royalty should come near the favoured spot without visiting it as a
thing of course; and I forgot to mention that a revenue is derived from
some cottages, which, although small, is yet sufficient to pay the tithe
on the whole estate."

"There, there--that will do."

"Here you have purling rills and cascades, and fish-ponds so redundant
with the finny tribe, that you have but to wish for sport, and it is
yours; here you have in the mansion, chambers that vie with the
accommodation of a palace--ample dormitories and halls of ancient
grandeur; here you have--"

"Stop," said the baron, "stop; I cannot be pestered in this way with
your description. I have no patience to listen to such mere words--show
me the house at once, and let me judge for myself."

"Certainly, sir; oh! certainly; only I thought it right to give you a
slight description of the place as it really was: and now, sir, that we
have reached the house, I may remark that here we have--"

"Silence!" said the baron; "if you begin with here we have, I know not
when you will leave off. All I require of you is to show me the place,
and to answer any question which I may put to you concerning it. I will
draw my own conclusions, and nothing you can say, one way or another,
will affect my imagination."

"Certainly, sir, certainly; I shall only be too happy to answer any
questions that may be put to me by a person of your lordship's great
intelligence; and all I can remark is, that when you reach the
drawing-room floor, any person may truly say, here you have--I really
beg your pardon, sir--I had not the slightest intention of saying here
you have, I assure you; but the words came out quite unawares, I assure
you."

"Peace--peace!" cried again the baron; "you disturb me by this incessant
clatter."