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The Luck of the Mounted by Ralph S. Kendall

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The livery-man made a gesture in the negative, and Yorke departed upon
his quest. Slavin ushered Lee and the hobo into the room. To the
sergeant's surprise he beheld the justice sitting at the table writing.
He concluded that that gentleman must have just stepped in from the rear
entrance of the hotel, or the bar, during his own and Yorke's temporary
absence.

At the entrance of the trio Gully raised his head and, with the pen
poised in his fingers, sat perfectly motionless, staring at them
strangely out of his shadowy eyes. His face seemed transformed into a
blank, expressionless mask. The sergeant leaned over the table and spoke
to him in a rapid aside.

"Ah!" murmured Mr. Gully, and he remained for a space in deep thought.
"Sergeant," he began presently, "I'll have to be pulling out soon.
Before we start in with this man . . . will you kindly step down to
Doctor Cox's with these papers and ask him to sign them?"

It seemed an ordinary request. Slavin complied.

Returning some ten or fifteen minutes later he noticed Lee was absent.
The magistrate answered his query. "Sent him round to throw the harness
on my team," he drawled, as he pored over a Criminal Code, "he'll be back
in a moment--ah! here he is." And just then the latter entered, along
with Yorke. The hobo was sitting slumped in a chair, as Slavin had left
him. With one accord they all centred their gaze upon the unkempt
delinquent. Ragged and unwashed, he presented a decidedly unlovely
appearance, which was heightened by his stubble-coated visage showing
signs as of recent ill-usage. His age might have been anything between
thirty and forty.

The sergeant, a huge, menacing figure of a man, stepped forward and
motioned to him to stand. "Now, see here; look, me man!" he said slowly
and distinctly, a sort of tense eagerness underlying his soft tones,
"behfure I shtart in charrgin' ye wid anythin' I'm goin' tu put a few
questions tu ye in front av this ginthleman"--he indicated the
justice--"He's a mag'strate, so ye'd best tell th' trute. Now--th' night
behfure last--betune say, nine an' twelve o'clock . . . fwhere was
ye?"--he paused--"Think harrd, an' come across wid th' straight goods."

A tense silence succeeded. The hobo, the cynosure of a ring of watchful
expectant faces, mumbled indistinctly, "I was sleepin'--up in th' loft o'
th' livery-stable."

"Did yeh--" Slavin eyed the man keenly--"did yeh see--or hear--any fella
take a harse out av th' shtable durin' that time?"

Gully moved slightly. With the mannerism he affected, his left hand
dragging at his moustache and his right slid between the lapels of his
coat, he leaned forward and fixed his eyes full upon the hobo's battered
visage.

Meeting that strange, compelling gaze the latter: stared back at him, his
face an ugly, expressionless mask. He shuffled with his feet. "Why,
yes!" he said finally, "I did heer a bunch o' fellers come in. They was
a-talkin' all excited-like 'bout a fight, or sumphin'. They was
a-hollerin', 'Beat it, Larry! beat it!' t' somewun, an' I heered some
feller say: 'All right! give us my ---- saddle!' an' then it sounded like
as if a horse was bein' taken out. I didn't heer no more after
that--went t' sleep. I 'member comin' down 'bout th' middle o' th' night
t' git a drink at th' trough. This feller come in then,"--he indicated
Lee. "He hollered sumphin' an' started in t' chase me . . . so I beat it
up inta th' loft agin'." He shivered. "'T'was cold up ther--I well-nigh
froze," he whined.

The sergeant exhausted his no mean powers of exhortation. It was all in
vain. The hobo protested that he had neither seen nor heard anyone else
taking out, or bringing in, a horse during the night.

Slavin finally ceased his efforts and glowered at the man in silent
impotence. "How come yez tu get th' face av yez bashed up so?" he
demanded.

"Fell thru' one o' th' feed-holes up in th' loft," was the sulky response.

"Fwhat name du ye thravel undher?"

"Dick Drinkwater."

"Eh?" the sergeant glanced critically at the red, bulbous nose. "Fwhat's
in a name?" he murmured. "Eyah! fwhat's in a name?"

Glibly the tramp commenced an impassioned harangue, dwelling upon the
hardness of life in general, snuffling and whining after the manner of
his kind. How could a crippled-up man like him obtain work? He thrust
out a grimy right hand--minus two fingers. He had been a sawyer, he
averred.

Slavin sniffed suspiciously. "Ye shtink av whiskey, fella!" he said
sharply. "That nose, yeh name, an' a hard-luck spiel du not go well
together. Fwhere did yu' get yu're dhrink?"

The hobo was silent. "Come across," said Slavin sternly, "fwhere did ye
get ut?"

"I had a bottle with me when I come off th' train," said the other, "ther
was a drop left in an' I had it just now."

In the light of after events, well did Slavin and Yorke recall the
furtive appealing glance the hobo threw at Gully; well did they also
remember certain of Kilbride's words: "There'll be quite a lot of things
crop up in our minds that we'll be wondering we never thought of before."

The justice cleared his throat. "Sergeant" came his guttural, booming
bass, "suppose!--suppose!" he reiterated suavely "on this occasion
we--er--temper justice with mercy--ha! ha!" His deep hollow laugh jarred
on their nerves most unpleasantly. "I need a man at my place just now,"
he went on, "to buck wood and do a little odd choring around. Times are
rather hard just now, as this poor fellow says. If you insist--er--why,
of course I've no other option but to send him down . . . you understand?
I would not presume to dictate to you your duty. On the other hand . . .
if you are not specially anxious to press a charge of vagrancy against
this man I--er--am willing to give him a chance to obtain this work--that
he insists he is so anxious to find."

Slavin's face cleared and he emitted a weary sigh of relief. "As you
will, yeh're Worship," he said. "T'will be helpin' me out, tu . . . yeh
undhershtand?" His meaning stare drew a comprehensive nod from Gully.
"I have not a man tu shpare for escort just now."

He turned to the hobo. "Fwhat say yu', me man?" was his curt ultimatum,
"Fwhat say yu'--tu th' kindniss av his Worship? Will yeh go wurrk for
him? . . . Or be charged wid vagrancy?"

The offer was accepted with alacrity. In the hobo's one uninjured optic
shone a momentary gleam of intelligence, as he continued to stare at
Gully, like a dog at its master. The gleam was reflected in a pair of
shadowy, deep-set eyes, unblinking as an owl's.

Gully arose and looked at Lee. "All right then! you can hitch up my
team, Nick!" he said, and that rotund worthy waddled away on his mission.
"Come on, my man" he continued to the hobo, "we'll go round to the
stable." He turned to Slavin and Yorke, shedding his magisterial
deportment. "Well, good-bye, you fellows!" he said, with careless
bonhomie. He lowered his voice in an aside to Slavin. "Sergeant, I
trust I shall see, or hear from you again shortly. I would like to hear
the result of the inquest and--er--how you are progressing with the case."

A few minutes later they heard the silvery jingle of his cutter's bells
gradually dying away in the distance. Slavin aroused himself from a
scowling, brooding reverie. "G----d d----n!" he spat out to Yorke, from
between clenched teeth, "ther' goes another forlorn hope. 'Tis no manner
av use worryin' tho'--let's go get that jury empannelled!" He uttered a
snorting chuckle as a thought seemed to strike him. "H-mm! Gully must
be getthin' tindher-hearthed! Th' last vag we had up behfure him he sint
um down for sixty days."




CHAPTER IX

_Take order now, Gehazi,
That no man talk aside
In secret with his judges
The while his case is tried,
Lest he should show them--reason
To keep a matter hid,
And subtly lead the questions
Away from what he did._
KIPLING.


"Hullo!" quoth Constable Yorke facetiously, "behold one cometh, with
blood in her eye! Egad! Don't old gal Lee look mad? Like a wet hen. I
guess she's just off the train and Nick hasn't met her. There'll be
something doing when she lands home."

It was about ten o'clock on the following morning. The three policemen
(Redmond had returned on a freight during the night) were standing
outside the small cottage, next the livery-stable, the abode of Nick Lee
and his spouse. After a casual inspection of their horses they were
debating as to possible suspects and their next course of action.
Yorke's remarks were directed at a stout, red-faced, middle-aged woman
who was just then approaching them. She looked flustered and angry and
was burdened down with parcels great and small. As she halted outside
the gate one of the packages slipped from her grasp and fell in the mud.
Unable to bend down, she gazed at it helplessly a moment. Yorke,
stepping forward promptly, picked up the parcel, wiped it and tucked it
under her huge arm.

"Thank ye, Mister Yorke," she ejaculated gratefully, "'tis a gentleman ye
are," she glowered a moment at the cottage, "which is more'n I kin say
fur that mon o' mine, th' lazy good-fur-nothin', . . . leavin' me t' pack
all these things from th' train!"

Like a tug drawing nigh to its mooring--and nearly as broad in the
beam--she came to anchor on the front steps and kicked savagely at the
door. A momentary glimpse they got of Nick Lee's face, in all its
rubicund helplessness, and then the door banged to. From an open window
soon emerged the sounds as of a domestic broil.

"Talk av Home Rule, an' 'Th' Voice that breathed o'er Eden'," murmured
Slavin. "Blarney me sowl! just hark tu ut now?"

From the cottage's interior came several high-pitched female squawks,
punctuated by the ominous sounds as of violent thumps being rained upon a
soft body, and suddenly the portal disgorged Lee--in erratic haste. His
hat presently followed. Dazedly awhile he surveyed the grinning trio of
witnesses to his discomfiture; then, picking up his battered head-piece
he crammed it down upon his bald cranium with a vicious, yet abject,
gesture.

"Th' missis seems onwell this mornin'," he mumbled apologetically to
Slavin, "I take it yore not a married man, Sarjint?"

"Eh?" ejaculated that worthy sharply, his levity gone on the instant.
"Who--me?" Blankly he regarded the miserable face of his interlocutor,
one huge paw of a hand softly and surreptitiously caressing its fellow,
"Nay--glory be! I am not."

"Har!" shrilled the Voice, its owner, fat red arms akimbo, blocking up
the doorway, "Nick, me useless man! ye kin prate t' me 'bout arrestin'
hoboes. I tell ye right now--that hobo that was a-bummin' roun' here
t'other mornin's got nothin' on you fur sheer, blowed-in-th'-glass
laziness."

"Fwhat?" Slavin violently contorting his grim face into a horrible
semblance of persuasive gallantry edged cautiously towards the irate
dame--much the same as a rough-rider will "So, ho, now!" and sidle up to
a bad horse. "Mishtress Lee," began he, in wheedling, dulcet tones,
"fwhat mornin' was that?"

That lady, her capacious, matronly bosom heaving with emotion, eyed him
suspiciously a moment. "Eh?" she snapped. "Why th' mornin' after th'
night of racket between them two men at th' hotel. Th' feller come
bummin' roun' th' back-door fur a hand-out--all starved t' death--just
before I took th' train t' Calgary." She dabbed at the false-front of
red hair, which had become somewhat disarranged. "La, la!" she murmured,
"I'm all of a twitter!"

"Some hand-out tu," remarked Slavin politely, "from th' face av um. . . .
Fwhat was ut ye handed him, Mishtress Lee, might I ask?--th' flat-iron or
th' rollin' pin?"

"I did not!" the dame retorted indignantly. "I gave him a cup of coffee
an' sumphin' t' eat--he was that cold, poor feller--an' I arst him how
his face come t' be in such a state. He said sumphin 'bout it bein' so
cold up in th' loft he come down amongst th' horses 'bout midnight--t'
get warmed up. He said he was lyin' in one o' th' mangers asleep when a
feller brought a horse in--an' th' light woke him up an' when he went t'
climm outa th' manger th' horse got scared an' pulled back an' musta
stepped on this feller's foot--fur th' feller started swearin' at him an'
pulled him outa th' manger an' beat him up an'--"

But Slavin had heard enough. With a most ungallant ejaculation he swung
on his heel and started towards the stable, beckoning hastily to Yorke
and Redmond to follow.

"Yu hear that?" he burst out on them, with lowered, savage tones. "I
knew ut--I felt ut at th' toime--that shtinkin' rapparee av a hobo was
lyin'--whin he said he did not renumber a harse bein' brought back. We
must go get um--right-away!" His grim face wore a terribly ruthless
expression just then. "My God!" he groaned out from between clenched
teeth, "but I will put th' third degree tu um, an' make um come across
this toime! Saddle up, bhoys! while I go an' hitch up T an' B.
Damnation! I wish Gully's place was on the phone!"

Some quarter of an hour later they were proceeding rapidly towards
Gully's ranch which lay some fifteen miles west of Cow Run, on the lower
or river trail. A cold wind had sprung up and the weather had turned
cloudy and dull, as if presaging snow, two iridescent "sun-dogs"
indicating a forthcoming drop in the temperature.

Yorke and Redmond, riding in the cutter's wake, carried on a desultory.
Jerky conversation anent the many baffling aspects of the case in hand.
Gully's name came up. His strange personality was discussed by them from
every angle; impartially by Yorke--frankly antagonistically by Redmond.

"Yes! he is a rum beggar, in a way," admitted Yorke, "not a bad sort of
duck, though, when you get to know him--when he's not in one of his
rotten, brooding fits. He sure gets 'Charley-on-his-back' sometimes.
Used to hit the booze pretty hard one time, they say. Tried the
'gold-cure'--then broke out again"--he lowered his voice at the huge,
bear-like back of the sergeant--"all same him. I don't know--somehow--it
always seems to leave em' cranky an' queer--that. Neither of 'em married
either--'baching it,' living alone, year after year, and all that, too."

"Better for you--if you took the cure, too!" George flung at him
grinning rudely. He neck-reined Fox sharply and dodged a playful punch
from his comrade. "Yorkey, old cock, I'm goin' to break you from 'hard
stuff' to beer--if I have to pitch into you every day."

"You're an insultin', bullyin' young beggar," remarked Yorke ruefully.
"I'll have to 'take shteps,' as Burke says, and discipline you a bit,
young fellow-me-lad! I don't wonder the old man pulled you in from
Gleichen. Come to think of it, why, you're the bright boy that they say
well-nigh started a mutiny down Regina! We heard a rumour about it up
here. Say, what was that mix-up, Reddy?"

George chuckled vaingloriously. "All over old 'Laddie'," he said.
"'Member that white horse? I forget his regimental number, but he was
about twenty-five years old. You remember how they'd taught him to chuck
up his head and 'laugh'? I was grooming him at 'midday stables.' Old
Harry Hawker was the sergeant taking 'stables' that day. He was stalking
up and down the gangway, blind as a bat, with his crop under his arm, and
his glasses stuck on the end of his nose--peering, peering. Well, old
Laddie happened to stretch himself, as a horse will, you know, stuck out
his hind leg, and old Harry fell wallop over it and tore his
riding-pants, and just then I said 'Laugh, Laddie!' and he chucked his
old head up and wrinkled his lips back. Of course the fellows fairly
howled and Harry lost his temper and let in to poor old Laddie with his
crop. It made me mad when he started that and I guess I gave him some
lip about it. He 'pegged' me for Orderly-room right-away for
insubordination.'

"I pleaded 'not guilty' and got away with it, too. Got all kinds of
witnesses--most of 'em only too d----d glad to be able to get back at
Harry for little things. Laddie was a proper pet of the Commissioner's.
He used to go into No. Four Stable and play with the old beggar and feed
him sugar nearly every day."

Yorke laughed mischievously, and was silent awhile. "Gully's knocked
about a deuce of a lot," he resumed presently. "Now and again he'll open
up a bit and talk, but mostly he's as close as an oyster--and the way he
can drop that drawl and come out 'flat-footed' with the straight
turkey--why, it'd surprise you! You'd think he was an out and out
Westerner, born and bred. He's a mighty good man on a horse, and around
cattle--and with a lariat. I don't know where the beggar's picked it up.
He claims he's only been in this country five years. Talks mostly about
the Gold Coast, and Shanghai, and the Congo. A proper 'Bully Hayes' of a
man he was there, too, I'll bet! He never says much about the States,
though I did hear him talking to a Southerner once, and begad, it was
funny! You could hardly tell their accents apart.

"Oh, he's not a bad chap to have for a J.P. It's mighty hard to get any
local man to accept a J.P.'s commission, anyway. They're most of 'em
scared of it getting them in bad with their neighbours. Gully--he
doesn't care a d----n for any of 'em, though. He'll sit on any case.
It's a good thing to have a man who's absolutely independent, like that.
I sure have known some spineless rotters. No, we might have a worse J.P.
than Gully."

"Oh, I don't know," rejoined Redmond thoughtfully, "may be he's all
right, but, somehow . . . the man's a kind of 'Doctor Fell' to me--has
been--right from the first time I 'mugged' him. Chances are though, that
it's only one of those false impressions a fellow gets. What's up?"

Yorke, shading his eyes from the cutting wind was staring ahead down the
long vista of trail. "Talk of the Devil!" he muttered, "why! here the
---- comes!" Aloud, he called out to Slavin. "Oh, Burke! here comes
Gully--riding like hell, I know that Silver horse of his."

And, far-off as yet, but rapidly approaching them at a gallop, they
beheld a rider.

"Sure is hittin' th' high spots," remarked the sergeant wonderingly,
"fwhat th' divil's up now?"

Gradually the distance lessened between them and presently Gully, mounted
upon a splendid, powerfully-built gray, checked his furious pace and
reined in with an impatient jerk, a few lengths from the police team.
Redmond could not help noticing that Gully, for a heavy man, possessed a
singularly-perfect seat in the saddle, riding with the sure, free,
unconscious grace of an _habitue_ of the range. He was roughly dressed
now, in overalls, short sheepskin coat, and "chaps."

He shouted a salutation to the trio, his usually immobile face
transformed into an expression of scowling anxiety. "Hullo!" he boomed,
his guttural bass sounding hoarse with passion, "You fellows didn't meet
that d----d hobo on the trail, I suppose? . . . I'm looking for him--in
the worst way!"

He flung out of saddle and strode alongside the cutter. "About two hours
ago--'not more, I'll swear--I pulled out to take a ride around the
cattle--like I usually do, every day. I left the beggar busy enough,
bucking fire-wood. I wasn't away much over an hour, but when I got back
I found he'd drifted--couldn't locate him anywhere.

"Then I remembered I'd left some money lying around--inside the drawer of
a bureau in my bedroom--'bout a hundred, I guess--in one of these
black-leather bill-folders. Sure enough, it's gone, too. Damnation!"

He leaned up against the cutter and mopped his streaming forehead. "I
was a fool to ever attempt to help a man like that out," he concluded
bitterly. "It serves me right!"

"Well," said Slavin, with an oath, "th' shtiff cannot have got far-away
in that toime. I want um as bad as yuh, Mr. Gully. We were on th' way
tu yu're place for um. See here; luk!"

Gully heard him out and whistled softly at the conclusion of the
narrative. "Once collar this man, Sergeant," said he, "and--you've
practically got your case. Make him talk?"--the low, guttural laugh was
not good to hear--"Oh, yes! . . . I think between us we could accomplish
that all right! . . . Yes-s!"

His voice died away in a murmur, a cruel glint flickered in his shadowy
eyes, and for a space he remained with folded arms and his head sunk in a
sort of brooding reverie. Suddenly, with an effort, he seemed to arouse
himself. "Oh, about that inquest, Sergeant," he queried casually, "what
was the jury's finding? I was forgetting all about that."

"Eyah; on'y fwhat yuh might expect," replied the latter. "Death by
shootin', at th' hand av some person unknown. I wired headquarthers
right-away." He made a slightly impatient movement. "Well, we must get
busy, Mr. Gully; this shtiff connot be far away. Not bein' on th'
thrail, betune us an' yu', means he's either beat ut shtraight south from
yu're place an' over th' ice tu th' railway-thrack, or west a piece, an'
thin onto th' thrack. Yu'll niver find a hobo far away from th' line.
He'd niver go thrapsein' thru' th' snow tu th' high ground beyant. Yuh
cud shpot him plain for miles--doin' that--comin' along."

"He's wearing old, worn-out boots," said Yorke, "got awful big feet, too,
I remember. Of course this trail's too beaten up from end to end to be
able to get a line on foot-prints. We might work slowly back to your
place, though, Mr. Gully, and keep a lookout for any place where he may
have struck south off the trail, as the Sergeant says."

It seemed the only thing to do. The party moved leisurely forward, Gully
riding ahead of the cutter, Yorke and Redmond in its wake, as before,
well-spread out on either side of the well-worn trail. Here, the snow
was practically undisturbed, affording them every opportunity of
discovering fresh foot-prints debouching from the main trail. It was
rather exacting, monotonous work, necessitating cautious and leisurely
progress; but they stuck to it doggedly until sometime later they rounded
a bend in the river and came within sight of Gully's ranch, about a mile
distant.

Presently that gentleman pulled up and swung out of saddle. "Half a
minute," he said, "my saddle's slipping! I want to tighten my cinch."

The small cavalcade halted. Slavin's restless eyes roving over the
expanse of unbroken snow on his left hand, suddenly dilated, and he
uttered an eager exclamation, pointing downwards with outflung arm.

"Ah," said he grimly, "here we are, I'm thinkin'!" And he clambered
hastily out of the cutter.

Yorke and Redmond, dismounting swiftly, stepped forward with him and
examined minutely the unmistakably fresh imprints of large-sized feet
angling off from the trail towards the bank of the frozen river.

"Hob-nailed boots!" ejaculated Yorke. "Guess that must be him, all
right, Mr. Gully?"

The latter bent and scrutinized the imprints. "Sure must be," he
rejoined, with conviction. "A man walking out on the range is a
curiosity. I can't think how I could have missed them--coming along.
But I guess I was so mad, and in such a devil of a hurry I didn't notice
much. I made sure of catching up to him somewhere on the trail."

Slavin beckoned to Redmond and, much to that young gentleman's chagrin,
bade him hold the lines of the restless team, while he (Slavin), along
with Yorke and Gully, started forwards trailing the footprints. Arriving
at the river's edge they slid down the bank and followed the tracks over
the snow-covered ice to the centre of the river. Here was open water for
some distance; the powerful current at this point keeping open a ten-foot
wide steaming fissure. The tracks hugged its edge to a point about four
hundred yards westward, where the fissure closed up again and enabled
them to cross to the opposite bank. Clambering up this their quest led
them across a long stretch of comparatively level ground to the fenced-in
railway-track.

Ducking under the lower strand of wire they reached the line. At the
foot of the graded road-bed, Slavin, who was ahead, halted suddenly and
uttered an oath. Stooping down he picked up something and, turning round
to his companions exhibited his find. It was a small, black-leather
bill-folder--empty.

Gully regarded his lost property with smouldering eyes, and he uttered a
ghastly imprecation. "Yes, that's it," he said simply, "beggar's boned
the bills and chucked this away for fear of incriminating evidence--in
case he was nabbed again, I suppose. The bills were mostly in fives and
tens--Standard Bank--I remember."

They climbed up onto the track to determine whether the foot-prints
turned east or west; but further quest here proved useless, on account of
its being a snow-beaten section-hand trail.

Slavin balked again, swore in fluent and horrible fashion. For a space
he remained in brooding thought, then he turned abruptly to his
companions.

"Come on," he jerked out savagely, "let's get back."

In silence they retraced their steps and eventually reached their horses.
Here the sergeant issued curt orders to his men.

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Stephen King fan publishes Shining's Jack Torrance's novel
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A Stephen King fan has published an 80-page version of the book which novelist Jack Torrance obsessively writes during King's The Shining, where his descent into madness is revealed when his wife discovers that his work consists of just one phrase, endlessly repeated.

Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson in terrifying form in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, is a frustrated writer who goes with his wife and son to spend the winter in the isolated Overlook Hotel in an attempt to get the novel he has always wanted to write started. But the hotel's grisly past and unquiet ghosts have their way with him, and his wife Wendy eventually finds that the manuscript he has been working on actually only contains the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", typed over and over again.

Now New York artist Phil Buehler, who describes himself as "a big fan of Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King", has self-published a book credited to Torrance, repeating the phrase throughout but formatting each page differently, using the words to create different shapes from zigzags to spirals.

"The idea has probably been marinating for years, because I loved the movie and the Stephen King book," said Buehler. "I'd just finished my own obsessive art project [and] it was an idea I had over the Christmas holidays."

He said he decided to stick to type and formatting that could have been created on a typewriter, with the first ten pages duplicating shots of Torrance's work from the film. "I thought 'if he continues to get crazier, what would those pages look like?'" he said. "I hit writer's block about 60 pages in, and I had to get to 80 - that went on for about a week." His fiancée, who had neither read the book nor seen the film, became a little concerned about his actions. "I finally showed her the movie, and she realised I wasn't really losing it," said Buehler.

He's included a spoof review from the blog OverThinkingIt.com on the book's back jacket, which compares it to "the best of Beckett" in its "lack of forward momentum", and considers the struggles of the author, "heroically pitting himself against the Sisyphusean sentence". "It's that metatextual struggle of Man vs. Typewriter that gives this book its spellbinding power," the review says. "Some will dismiss it as simplistic; that's like dismissing a Pollack canvas as mere splatters of paint."

So far, Buehler says that around 1,000 people have viewed the book, for sale on Blurb.com for $8.95 in paperback, or $22.95 in hardback, and he's sold "a few" copies, with sales now starting to pick up steam. "A few people have asked me to sign it - they're looking it as a piece of art rather than a funny thing to give to a Kubrick fan," he said. "If you're not a Kubrick or King fan, you might not even get it."

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