The Third And Last Part Of Conny Catching. (1592) by R. G.
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R. G. >> The Third And Last Part Of Conny Catching. (1592)
The gentleman at his standing up, seeing it was he that gaue him such
good counsaile, and pretended himselfe his verie friend, but neuer
imagining this traine was made for him: stept in his defence, when the
other following tript vp his heeles: so that hee and his counsellour
were downe together, and two more uppon them, striking with their
daggers verie eagerly, marry indeed the gentleman had most of the
blowes, and both his handkercher with the chaine, and also his pursse
with three and fiftie shillings in it, were taken out of his pocket in
this strugling, euen by then man that himself defended.
It was maruellous to behold, how not regarding the Villaines wordes
uttered before in the Church, nor thinking uppon the charge about him
(which after hee had thus treacherouslye lost unwittingly): he stands
pacifiyng them that were not discontented, but onely to beguile
him. But they vowing that they would presently go for their weapons,
and so to the field, told the Gentleman he laboured but in vaine, for
fight they must and would, and so going downe by Paules Chaine, left
the gentleman made a Conny going up toward Fleet-street, sorry for his
new Counseller and freend, and wishing him good lucke in the fight:
which in deede was with nothing but wine pots, for ioy of their late
gotten bootie. Neere to Saint Dunstones church the Gentleman remembred
himself, and feeling his pocket so light had suddenly more greefe at
his hart, then euer happen to him or any man againe. Backe he comes to
see if hee could espye anye of them, but they were farre inoughe from
him: God send him better hap when he goes next a wooing, and that this
his losse may bee a warning to others.
How a cunning knaue got a Truncke well stuffed with linen and certaine
parcels of plate out of a Cittizens house, and how the Master of the
house holpe the deceiuer to carry away his owne goods.
Within the Cittie of London, dwelleth a worldly man, who hath very
great dealing in his trade, and his shoppe very well frequented with
customers: had such a shrewd mischance of late by a Conny-catcher, as
may well serue for an example to others least they haue the like. A
cunning villaine, that had long time haunted this Cittizens house, and
gotten many a cheat which he carryed away safely: made it his custome
when hee wanted money, to helpe him selfe euer where hee had so often,
diuers things he had which were neuer mist, especially such as
appertained to the Cittizens trade, but when anye were found wanting,
they could not deuise which way they were gone, so pollitiquely this
fellow alwayes behaued himselfe, well knew hee what times of greatest
businesse this Cittizen had in his trade, and when the shop is moft
stored with Chapmen: then would he step up the stares (for there was
and is another doore to the house besides that which entreth into the
shoppe) and what was next hand came euer away with. One time above the
rest, in an evening about Candlemas, when day light shuts in about
five of the clocke, hee watched to doe some feate in the house, and
seeing the mistresse goe foorth with her maide, the goodman and his
folkes very busie in the shop: up the staires he goes as he was wonte
to doo, and lifting up the latch of the hall portall doore, saw no
body neere to trouble him, when stepping into the next chamber, where
the Cittizen and his Wife usually lay, at the beds feete there stood a
handsome truncke, wherein was verye good linnen, a faire gilte Salte,
two silver French bowles for Wine, two silver drinking pots, a stone
Jugge covered with silver, and a doosen of silver spoones. This
truncke hee brings to the stayres head, and making fast the doore,
againe, drawes it downe the steppes so softlye as hee could, for it
was so bigge and heavy, as he could not easilie carry it, hauing it
out at the doore, unseene of anye neighbour or any body else, he stood
strugling with it to lift it up on the stall, which by reason of the
weight trobled him very much. The goodman comming foorth of his shop,
to bid a customer or two farwell, made the fellowe affraide he should
now bee taken for all togither: but calling his wittes together to
escape if he could, he stoode gazing up at the signe belonging to the
house, as though hee were desirous to know what signe it was: which
the Cittizen perceiving, came to him and asked him what he sought for?
I looke for the signe of the blew bell sir, quoth the fellowe, where a
gentleman hauing taken a chamber for this tearme time, hath sent me
hether with this his Troncke of apparrell: quoth the Citizen I know no
such signe in this street, but in the next (naming it) there is such a
one indeed, and there dwelleth one that letteth foorth Chambers to
Gentlemen. Truly sir quoth the fellowe, thats the house I should goe
to, I pray you sir lend me your hand, but to help the Trunck on my
back, for I thinking to ease me a while vpon your stall, set it
shorte, and now I can hardly get it vp againe. The Cittizen not
knowing his owne Trunke, but indeede neuer thinking on any such
notable deceite: helps him vp with the Trunke, and so sends him away
roundly with his owne goods. When the Truncke was mist, I leaue to
your conceits what housholde greefe there was on all sides, especially
the goodman himselfe, who remembring how he helpt the fellow vp with a
Trunke, perceiued that heereby hee had beguiled himselfe, and loste
more then in haste hee should recouer againe. Howe this may admonish
others, I leaue to the iudgement of the indifferent opinion, that see
when honest meaning is so craftily beleagerd, as good foresight must
bee vsed to preuent such daungers.
How a Broker was cunningly ouer-reached by as craftie a knaue as
himselfe, and brought in danger of the Gallowes.
It hath beene vsed as a common by-word, a craftie knaue needeth no
Broker, whereby it should appeare that there can hardlie bee a
craftier knaue than a Broker. Suspend your iudgements till you haue
heard this Discourse ensuing, and then as you please, censure both the
one and the other.
A Ladie of the Countrie sent vp a seruant whome she might well put in
trust, to prouide hir of a gowne answerable to such directions as she
had giuen him, which was of good price, as may appear by the outside
and lace, whereto doubtlesse was euerie other thing agreeable: for the
Tayler had seuenteen yards of the best black satten could be got for
monie, and so much golde lace, beside spangles, as valued thirteene
pound, what else was beside I know not, but let it suffice, thus much
was lost, and therefore let vs to the manner bow.
The satten and the lace being brought to the Tayler that should make
the gowne, and spread abroade on the shop boord to be measured,
certaine good fellowes of the Conny-catching profession chanced to go
by, who seeing so rich lace, and so excellent good satten, began to
commune with themselues how they might make some purchase of what they
had seene: and quickly it was to bee done or not at al. As euer in a
crew of this quality, there is some one more ingenious and politique
then the rest, or at least wise that couets to make himselfe more
famous then the rest: so this instant was there one in this companie
that did sweare his cunning should deepelie deceiue him, but he would
haue both the lace and satten, When hauing laid the plot with his
companions, how and which waie their helpe might stand them in stead,
this they proceeded.
Well noted they the seruing-man that stood in the shoppe with the
Tailer, and gathered by his diligent attendance, that he had some
charge of the gowne there to be made, wherefore by him must they worke
their trecherie intended, and vse him as an instrument to beguile
himselfe. One of them sitting in a seate nere vnto the Tailers stall,
could easily heare the talke that passed betweene the seruing-man and
the Tayler, where among other communication, it was concluded that the
gowne should be made of the selfe same fashion in euery point, as
another Ladies was who then lay in the citie, and that measure being
taken by her, the same would sirlie serue the Lady for whome the gowne
was to bee made: now the seruingman intended to go speake with the
Ladie, and uppon a token agreed betweene them (which he careleslie
spake so lowd, that the Conny-catcher heard it) he would as her
leisure serued, certifie that Tailer, and he should bring the stuffe
with him, to haue the Ladies opinion both of the one and the other.
The seruingman being gone about his affaires, the subtill mate that
has listned to all their talke, acquaints his fellows both with the
determination and token appointed for the Tailers comming to the
Lady. The guide and leader to all the rest for villany, though there
was no one but was better skilde in such matters then honestie: he
appoints that one of them should go to the tauerne, which was not
farre off, & laying two fagots on the fire in a roome by himselfe, and
a quarte of wine filled for countenance of the treacherie: another of
that crue should giue atteudance on him, as if hee were his maister,
being bare headed, and sir humblie answering at euery word. To the
tauern goes this counterfet gentleman, and his seruant waiting on him,
where euery thing was performed as us before rehearsed. When the
master knaue calling the drawer, demanded if there dwelt neere at hand
a skillfull Tailer, that could make a suite of veluet for himselfe,
marry it was to be doone with very great speed.
The Drawer named the Tailer that we now speake of, & upon the drawers
commending his cunning, the man in all hast was sent for to a
gentleman, for who he must make a sute of veluet foorthwith. Upon
talke had of the stuffe, how much was to be bought of everything
appertayning thereto: he must immediatly take measure of this
counterfet gentleman, because he knew not when to returne that waye
againe, afterward they would go to the Mercers. As the Tailer was
taking measure on him bare headed, as if he had bin a substantiall
gentleman indeed, the craftie mate had cunningly gotten his pursse out
of his pocket, at the one string whereof was fastened a little key,
and at the other his signet ring: This bootie he was sure of all
readie, whether he should get any thing els or no of the mischiefe
intended, stepping to the window he cuts the ring from the pursse, and
by his supposed man (rounding him in the eare) sendes it to the
plot-layer of this knauerie, minding to traine the tailer along with
him, as it were to the mercers, while he the meane time tooke order
for the other matter. Afterward speaking alowde to his man, Sirrha,
quoth hee, dispatch what I bad you, and about foure of the clock meet
me in Paules, by that time I hope the tailer and I shall have
dispacht. To Cheapside goeth the honest Tailer with this notorious
dissembler, not missing his pursse for the space of two houres after,
in lesse then halfe which time the satten and golde lace was gotten
likewise by the other villain from the Taylers house in this order.
Being sure the Tayler should bee kept absent, hee sends another mate
home to his house, who abused his servants with this devise: that the
ladies man had met their master abroad, and had him to the other Ladie
to take measure of her, and least they should delaye the time too
long, hee was sent for the satten and lace, declaring the token
appointed, and with all giving their masters signet ring for better
confirmation of his message, The servants could doe no lesse then
deliuer it, being commanded (as they supposed) by so credible
testimony: neither did the leasure of anie one serue to goe with the
the messenger, who seemed an honest young Gentleman and carried no
cause of distrust in his countenance: wherefore they delivered him the
lace and satten folded up together as it was, and desired him to will
their master to make some speede home, both for cutting out of worke,
and other occassions.
To a Broker fit for their purpose, goes this deceiuer with the satten
lace, who knowing well they could not come honestly by it, nor anie
thing else hee bought of that crew, as often before he had dealt much
with them: either gaue them not so much as they would haue, or at
least as they iudged they could haue in another place, for which the
ring-leader of this coosnage, vowed in his mind to be reuenged on the
Broker. The master knaue who had spent two houres and more in vaine
with the Tailer, and would not like of anie veluet he saw, when he
percieued that he mist his purse, and could not deuise how or where he
had lost it, shewed himselfe verie sorrie for his mishap, and said in
the morning he would send the veluet home to his house, for he knew
where to speed of better then anie he had seene in the shops. Home
goes the Tailer verie sadly, where he was entertained with a greater
mischance, for there was the Ladies seruing-man swearing and stamping,
that he had not seen their master since the morning they parted,
neither had hee sent for the satten and lace, but when the seruantes
insisted their innocencie, beguiled both with the true token
rehearsed, and their masters ring, it exceedeth my cunning to set
downe answerable wordes to this exceeding griefe and amazement on
their part, but most of al the honest Tailer, who sped the better by
the Brokers wilfulnes, as afterward it happened, which made him the
better brooke the losse of his purse. That night all means were used
that could bee, both to the Mercers, brokers, goldsmiths, goldfiners,
& such like, where happily such things doe come to bee solde: but all
was in vaine, the onely helpe came by the inuenter of this villanie,
who scant sleeping all night, in regard of the brokers extreme
gaining, both by him and those of his profession: the next morning he
came to the Tailers house, at what time hee espied him with the Ladies
seruing-man, comming forth of the doores, and into the tauern he went
to report what a mishap hee had upon the sending for him thether the
daie before.
As he was but newly entered his sadde discourie, in comes the partie
offended with the broker, and hauing heard all (whereof none could
make better report than himselfe) he takes the tailer and seruing-man
aside, and pretending great griefe for both their causes, demands what
they would thinke him worthy of that could help them to their good
againe. On condition to meete with such a friend, offer was made of
fiue pound, and after sundrie speeches passing between them alone, be
seeming that he would would worke the recouerie thereof by arte, and
they premising not to disclose the man that did the good, he drew
forth a little booke out of his bosome, whether it was latine or
english it skilled not, for hee could not reade a word on it, then
desiring them to spare him alone a while, they shoulde perceiue what
hee woulde doe for them. Their heartes encouraged with some good hope,
kept all his wordes secret to themselues: and not long had they sitten
absent out of the roome, but he called them in againe and seeming as
though he had been a scholler in deed, sayd he found by his figure
that a broker in such a place had their goods lost, and in such a
place of the house they should finde it, bidding them go thether with
all speed, and as they found his wordes, so (with referring to
themselues how they came to knowledge therof) to meet him there againe
in the euening, and reward him as he had deserued.
Awaie in hast goes the Tailor and the seruing-man, and entering the
house with the Constable, found them in the place where hee that
reueald it, knew the broker alwaie laid such gotten goods. Of their
ioy againe, I leaue you to coniecture, and thinke you see the broker
with a good paire of bolts on his heele, readie to take his farewell
of the worlde in a halter, when time shall serue. The counterfet
cunning man, and artificial conny-catcher, as I heard, was paide his
fiue poundes that night. Thus one craftie knaue beguiled another, let
each take heed of dealing with anie such kind of people.
FINIS.
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