The Third And Last Part Of Conny Catching. (1592) by R. G.
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R. G. >> The Third And Last Part Of Conny Catching. (1592)
Night drawing on apace, the Gentleman returned home, not al this while
missing his purse, but being set at supper, his wife intreated a pint
of Sack, which hee minding to send for: drewe to his purse, and seeing
it gone, what strange lookes (beside sighs) were betweene him and his
wife. I leave to your supposing, and blame them not: for as I have
heard, there was seven pound in gold, beside thirtie shillings and od
white money in the purse. But in the middle of his griefe, hee
remembred him that said, who am I: Wherewith hee brake foorth into a
great laughter, the cause whereof his wife beeing desirous to know, he
declared all that passed between him and the deceiuer, as also how
sone afterward the queane abreuiated her discourse and followed: so in
troth wife (quoth he) betweene who am I and the drab, my purse is
gone: let his lesse teach others to looke better to theirs.
An other Tale of a coosening companion, who would needs trie his
cunning in this new inuentcd arte, and how by his knauerie (at one
instant) he beguiled halfe a dozen and more.
Of late time there hath a certaine base kinde of trade beene vsed, who
though diuers poore men, and doubtles honest, apply themselues onely
to relieue their need: yet are there some notorious varlets do the
same, being compacted with such kinde of people, as this present
treatise manifesteth to the world, and what with outward simplicity on
the one side, and cunning close treachery on the other, diuers honest
Cittizens and day-labouring men, that resort to such places as I am to
speake of, onely for recreation as opportunitie serueth, haue beene of
late sundry times deceyued of their purses. This trade, or rather
vnsufferable loytring qualitie, in singing of Ballets, and songs at
the doores of such houses where playes are vsed, as also in open
markets and other places of this Cittie, where is most resort: which
is nothing els but a slie fetch to draw many together, who listning
vnto an harmelesse dittie, afterwarde walke home to their houses with
heauie hearts: from such as are heereof true witnesses to their cost,
doo I deliuer this example. A subtill fellow, belike imboldned by
acquaintance with the former deceit, or els being but a beginner to
practise the same, calling certain of his companions together, would
try whether he could attaine to be maister of his art or no, by taking
a great many of fools with one traine: but let his intent and what els
beside, remaine to abide the censure after the mater is heard, and
come to Gratious street, where this villanous pranke was performed. A
roging mate, & such another with them were there got vpon a stal
singing of balets, which belike was some prety toy, for very many
gathered about to heare it, & divers buying, as their affections
serued, drew to their purses, & paid the singers for them. The slie
mate and his fellowes, who were dispersed among them that stood to
hear the songs well noted where euerie man that bought, put up his
purse againe, and to such as would not buy, counterfeit warning was
sundrie times giuen by the roge and his associate, to beware of the
cut-purse, & take to their purses, which made them often feel where
their purses were, either in sleeue, hose, or at girdle, to know
whether they were safe or no. Thus the crafty copesmates were
acquainted with what they most desired, and as they were scatred by
shouldring, thrusting, feining to let fall somthing, and other wilie
tricks fit for their purporse: heere one lost his purse, there another
had his pocket pickt, & to say all in briefe, at one instant, vpon the
complaint of one or two that saw their purses were gone, eight more in
the same companie, found themselues in like predicament. Some angrie,
others sorrowfull, and all greatly discontented, looking about them,
knewe not who to suspect or challenge, in that the villaines
themselues that had thus beguiled them, made shew that they had
sustained like losse. But one angry fellow, more impacient then all
the rest, he falls vpon the ballad singer, and beating him with his
fists well favouredly, sayes, if he had not listned his singing, he
had not lost his purse, and therefore would not be otherwise
perswaded, but that they two and the cutpurses were compacted
together. The rest that had lost their purses likewise, & saw that so
many complaine togither: they iump in opinion with the other fellow, &
begin to tug & hale the ballad singers when one after one, the false
knaves began to shrink away with the purses, by means of some officer
then being there present, the two Roges were had before a iustice, and
upon his discreete examination made, it was found, that they and the
cut-purses were compacted together, and that by this unsuspected
villanie, they had deceived many. The one Foole-taker himself, with
one or two more of that companie, was not long after apprehended: when
I doubt not but they had their reward answerable to their deseruing:
for I heare of their iorney westward, but not of their returne: let
this forewarne those that listen singing in the streets.
Of a craftie mate, that brought two young men vnto a Tauerne, where
departing with a Cup, hee left them to pay both for the wine and Cup.
A friend of mine sent mee this note, and assuring me the truth
thereof, I thought necessary to let it downe amongst the rest: both
for the honest simplicitie on the one side and most cunning knavery
used on the other, and thus it was. Two young men of familiar
acquaintance, who delighted much in musicke, because themselves
therein were somwhat expert, as on the virginals, bandora, lute and
such like: were one eventing at a common inne of this town (as I have
heard) where the one of them shewed his skil on the virginals to the
no little contentment of the hearers. Now as divers guests of the
house came into the roome to listen, so among the rest entered an
artificial Cony-catcher, who as occasion served, in the time of
ceasing between the severall toies and fancies be plaied: very much
commended his cunning, quick hand, and such qualities praiseworthy in
such a professor. The time being come, when these young men craved
leaue to depart, this politique varlet stepping to them, desired that
they would accept a quarte of Wine at his hande, which hee would most
gladlie bestow upon them: besides, if it liked him that played on the
Virginals to instruct, hee would helpe him to so good a place, as
happily might advantage him for ever. These kind words, delivered with
such honest outward shewe, caused the yoong men, whose thoughts were
free from any other opinion, than to bee as truely and plainly dealt
withall as themselves meant, accepted his offer, because hee that
played on the Virginals was desirous to have some good place of
seruice: & hereupon to the Tauerne they goe, and being set, the wily
companion calleth for two pintes of wine, a pinte of white, and a
pinte of claret, casting his cloake upon the table, and falling to his
former communication of preferring the yoong man. The wine is
brought, and two cuppes withall, as is the vsuall manner: when
drinking to them of the one pinte, they pledge him, not unthankfull
for his gentlenesse. After some time spent in talke, and as he
perceived fit for his purpose, hee takes the other cup, and tastes the
other pinte of wine: wherewith he finding fault, that it dranke
somewhat harde, sayd, that Rose-water and Sugar would do no harme:
whereupon he leaves his seate, saying he was well acquainted with one
of the seruants of the house, of whom he could have two penny worth of
Rose-Water for a penny, and so of Sugar likewise, wherefore be would
step to the barre unto him, so taking the cup in his hand, hee did:
the young men neuer thinking on any such treacherie as ensued, in that
he seemed an honest man, and beside left his cloake lying on the table
by them. No more returnes the yonker with Rose-water and Sugar, but
stepping cut of doores, unseene of any, goes away roundly with the
cup. The young men not a little wondering at his long tarrying, by the
comming of the seruants to see what they wanted, who tooke no regarde
of his sudden departure, finde themselves there left, not onely to pay
for the wine, but for the Cuppe also, being rashlye supposed by the
maister and his seruants to be copartners with the treacherous
villaine: but their honest behaviour well knowne, as also their
simplicity too much abused, well witnessed their innocencie:
notwithstanding they were faine to pay for the cup, as afterwarde they
did, hauing nothing towardes their charge but a thred bare cloake not
worth two shillings. Take heede how you drinke wine with any such
companions.
Of an honest housholder which was cuningly deceyued by a subtill
companion, that came to hire a Chamber for his Master.
Not farre from Charing Crosse dwelleth an honest young man, who being
not long since married, and having more roomes in his house than
himselfe occupyeth, either for terme time, or the Court lying so
neere, as divers do, to make a reasonable commoditie, and to ease
house-rent, which (as the worlde goeth now to none of the cheapest)
letteth foorth a chamber or two, according as it may be spared. In an
evening but a while since, came one in the manner of a Seruing man to
this man and his wife, and he must needes have a Chamber for his
Maister, offering so largely, as the bargaine was soone concluded
betweene them. His intent was to have fingered some bootie in the
house, as by the sequele it may bee likeliest gathered: but belike no
fit thing lying abroad, or hee better regarded then happily be would
be, his expectation that way was frustrated, yet as a resolute
Conny-catcher indeed, that scorneth to attempt without some successe,
and rather will pray upon small commoditye, then returne to his
fellows disgraced with a lost labor: he summons his wits together, &
by a smooth tale over-reached both the man and his wife. He tels them,
that his Maister was a captaine late come from the Sea, and had costly
apparel to bring thither, which for more earlie carriage, he entreats
them lend him a sheet to bind it vp in, they suspecting no ill,
because he required their boy should goe with him to helpe him cary
the stuffe, the good wife steppes vnto her Chest, where her linnen lay
finelie sweetned with Rose leaves and Lavender, and lends him a very
good sheete in deed.
This successe made him bold to venter a little further, and then he
tels them, his maister had a great deale of broken Sugar, and fine
spices that lay negligently abroad in his lodging as it was brought
from the Ship, all which hee was assured his Maister would bestow on
them, so he could deuise how to get it brought thither.
These liberall promises, prevailing with them that lightlie beleeued,
and withall were somewhat couetous of the Sugar and spices: The woman
demanded if a couple of pillow-beeres would not serue to bring the
sugar and spices in: yes marry (quoth hee) so the Sugar may best be
kept by it self, and the spices by themselves. And (quoth hee)
because there are many craftie knaues abroad,(greeving that any should
be craftier then himselfe) and in the evening the linnen might
quicklie bee snatched from the boy: for the more safety, he would
carry the sheet and pillow-beeres himselfe, & within an hower or
little more returne with the boy againe, because he would have all
things redy before his maister came, who (as he said) was attending on
the Councell at the court. The man and his wife crediting his smooth
speeches, sends their boy with him, and so along toward Zuie-bridge go
they. The Conny-catcher seeing himselfe at free libertie, that he had
gotten a very good sheet, and two fine pillow-beeres: steps to the
wall, as though he would make water, bidding the boye goe faire and
softly on before. The boy doubting nothing, did as hee willed him,
when presently he stept into some house hard by fit to entertaine him:
and neuer since was hee, his Maister, the Sugar, spices, or the linnen
heard off. Manie have beene in this manner deceived, as I heare, let
this then giue them warning to beware of any such unprofitable guests.
Of one that came to buy a knife, and made first proofe of his trade on
him that solde it.
One of the cunning Nippes about the towne, came unto a poore Cutler to
have a Cuttle made according to his owne minde, and not aboue three
inches would he have both the knife and the haft in length: yet of
such pure mettall, as possibly may bee. Albeit the poore man never
made the like before, yet being promised foure times the value of his
stuffe and paines, he was contented to doe this, and the day being
come that hee should deliuer it, the partie came, who liking it
exceedingly, gaue him the money promised, which the poore man gladly
put up into his purse, that hung at a button hole of his wascoate
before his brest, smiling that he was so well paid for so small a
trifle: the partie perceiuing his merry countenance, and imagining he
gest for what purpose the knife was, sayde, honest man, whereat smile
you? By my troth sir (quoth the Cutler) I smile at your knife, because
I never made one so litle before: and were it not offensive unto you,
I would request to know to what use you will put it too? Wilt thou
keepe my counsaile (quoth the Nipe) yea on mine honestie (quoth the
Cutler.) Then hearken in thy eare said the Nip, and so rounding with
him, cut the poore mans purse that houng at his bosom, he neuer
faeling when he did it: with this knife (quoth the Nippe) meane I to
cut a purse, marry GOD forbid (quoth the Cutler) I cannot thinke you
to be such a kind of man, I see you loue to iest, and so they parted.
The poore man, not so wise as to remember his owne purse, when by such
a warning hee might haue taken the offendour dooing the deede, but
rather proud (as it were) that his money was so easily earned: walkes
to the Alehouse, which was within a house or two of his owne, and
finding there three or foure of his neighbors with whom he began to
iest very pleasantly: sweares by cocke and pie hee would spend a whole
groat uppon them, for hee had gotten it and more, cleerely by a good
bargaine that morning.
Though it was no maruell to see him so liberall, because indeede he
was a good companion: yet they were loth to put him to such cost,
nothwithstanding he would need doe it, and so farre as promise
stretcht, was presently fild in and set upon the boord. In the
drinking time often he wisht to meet more such customers as he had
done that morning, and commended him for a very honest gentleman I
warrant you. At length, when the reckoning was to be paide, hee drawes
to his purse, where finding nothing left but a peece of the string in
the button hole, I leave to your iudgement, whether he was now as
sorie as he was merrie before.
Blanck and all amort sits the poore Cutler, and with such a pittifull
countenance, as his neighbours did not a little admire his solemne
alteration, and desirous to know the cause thereof, from point to
point he discourseth the whole manner of the tragedie, neuer naming
his new customer, but with such a farre fetcht sigh, as soule and body
would have parted in sunder. And in midst of all his griefe, he brake
forth into these termes. Ile belieue a man the better by his word
while I know him, the knife was bought to cut a purse indeed, and I
thanke him for it, hee made the first proofe of the edge with mee. The
neigbbours greeving for his losse, yet smiling at his folly to be so
overreached, were faine to pay the groate the Cutler called in,
because he had no other money about him, and spent as much more beside
to driue away his heauinesse.
This tale, because it was somewhat misreported before, upon talke had
with the poore Cutler himselfe, is set downe now in true forme and
manner how it was done, therefore is there no offence offered, when by
better consideration, a thing may be enlarged or amended, or at least
the note be better confirmed. Let the poore Cutlers mishap example
others, that they brag not over hastily of gaine easily gotten, least
they chance to pay as deerely for it, as he did.
Of a yoong Nip that cunningly beguiled an antient professor of that
trade, and his queane with him, at a play.
A good fellow that was newly entered into the nipping craft, and had
not as yet attained to any acquaintance with the chiefe and cunning
maisters of that trade: In the Christmas holy-dayes last, came to see
a playe at the Bull within Bishops gate, there to take his benefit as
time and place would permit him. Not long had hee stayed in the
prease, but hee had gotten a yoong mans purse out of his pocket, which
when he had, hee stepped into the stable to take out the money, and to
conuey away the purse. But looking on his commoditie, hee founde
nothing therein but white counters, a thimble and a broken three
pence, which belike the fellowe that ought it, had doone of purpose to
deceiue the cutpurse withall, or else had plaide at the Cardes for
counters, and so carried his winnings about him till his next sitting
to playe. Somewhat displeased to be so ouertaken, he looked aside, and
spied a lustie youth entring at the doore, and his drab with him; this
fellow he had heard to bee one of the finest Nippers about the towne,
and euer caried his queane with him, for conueiance when the stratagem
was performed: he puts up the counters into the purse againe, and
follows close to see some peece of their seruice. Among a companie of
seemely men was this lustie companion and his minion gotten, where
both they might best beholde the playe, and work for aduantage, and
ever this young Nip was next to him, to mark when he should attempt
any exployte, standing as it were more then halfe between the cunning
Nip and his drab, onely to learne some part of their skill. In short
time the deed was performed, but how, the young Nip could not easily
discern, only he felt him shift his hand toward his trug, to convey
the purse to her, but she being somwhat mindful of the play, because a
merriment was then on the stage, gaue no regarde: whereby thinking he
had puld her by the coat, hes twicht the young Nip by the cloke, who
taking advantage of this offer, put downe his hand and receiued the
purse of him: then counting it discourtesse to let him loose al his
labour, he softly pluckt the queane by the coate, which shee feeling,
and imagining it had beene her companions hand: receiued of him the
first purse with the white counters in it. Then fearing least his stay
should hinder him, and seeing the other intended to have more purses
ere he departed: away goes the young Nip with the purse he got to
eastiy, wherein (as I haue heard) was xxvii. shillings and odde mony,
which did so much content him, as that he had beguiled so ancient a
stander in that profession: what the other thought when he found the
purse, and could not gesse howe hee was coosened: I leave to your
censures, onely this makes me smile, that one false knave can beguile
another, which biddes honest men looke the better to their pursses.
How a Gentleman was craftily deceived of a Chayne of Golde and his
pursse, in Paules Church in London.
A Gentleman of the countrey, who (as I have herd since the time of his
mishap, whereof I am now to speake) had about halfe a yeere before
buryed his wife, and belike thinking wel of some other Gentlewoman,
whom hee ment to make account of as his second choice: upon good hope
or other wife persuaded, he came up to London to provide himselfe of
such necessaries as the Countrey is not usually stored withall.
Besides, silkes, veluets, cambrickes and such like, he bought a Chaine
of Golde that cost him fiftie and seaven pounds and odde money,
whereof because he would have the mayden head or first wearing
himselfe, hee presently put it on in the Goldsmiths shop, and so
walked therewith about London, as his occasions serued. But let not
the Gentleman bee offended, who if this Booke come to his handes, can
best auouch the trueth of this discourse, if heere by the ways I blame
his rash pride, or simple credulitie: for betweene the one and other,
the Chaine hee paide so deere for about ten of the clock in the
morning, the Cunny catchers the same day ere night shared amongst
them, a matter whereat hee may well greeve and I be sorie, in respect
hee is my very good friend: but to the purpose. This Gentleman walking
in Paules, with his Chaine faire glittering about his necke, talking
with his man about some businesse: was well viewed and regarded by a
crewe of Conny-catchers, whose teeth watred at his goodly Chaine, yet
knew not how to come by it hanging as it did, and therefore entred
into secret conspiration among themselves, if they could not come by
all the Chaine, yet how they might make it lighter by halfe a score
poundes at the least. Still had they their eyes on the honest
Gentleman, who little doubted any such treason intended against his so
late bought bargaine: and they hauing laid their plot, ech one to be
assistant in this enterprise, saw when the Gentleman dismissed his
servant, to go about such affaires as hee had appointed him, himselfe
still walking there up and downe the middle Isle. One of these mates,
that stood most on his cunning in these exploytes, folowed the serving
man foorth of the Church calling him by diuers names, as John, Thomas,
William, &c. as though he had knowne his right name, but could not hit
on it: which whether he did or no I know not, but wel I wot the
seruingman turned back again, and seeing him that called him seemed a
Gentleman, booted and cloaked after the newest fashion, came with his
hat in his hand to him, saying: Sir, do ye call me? Marie doe I my
frend quoth the other, doost not thou serue such a Gentleman? and
named one as himselfe pleased. No truely Sir, answered the
seruingman, I know not any such Gentleman as you speake of. By my
troth replyed the Conny-catcher, I am assured I knew thee and thy
Maister, though now I cannot suddenly remember my selfe. The
seruingman fearing no harme, yet fitting the humour of this trecherous
companion, tolde right his Masters name whome he served, and that his
Master was even then walking in Paules. O Gods will (quoth the
Cony-catcher, repeating his masters name) a very honest Gentleman, of
such a place is he not? naming a shire of the Country: for hee must
knowe both name, Country and somtimes what Gentlemen dwell neere the
partie that is to bee over reached, ere hee can proceed. No in deede
Sir (answered the servingman, with such reverence as it had beene to
an honest Gentleman indeed) my Master is of such a place, a mile from
such a Towne, and heard by such a knights house: by which report the
deceiver was halfe instructed, because though he was ignorant of the
fellows Master, yet wel he knew the Country, and the knight named. So
crauing pardon that he had mistaken him, he returnes againe into the
Church, and the servingman trudgeth about his assigned busines. Being
come to the rest of the crew, he appointes one of them (whome he knew
to be expert in deed), to take this matter in hand, for him self might
not do it, least the servingman should return and know him, he
schooled the rest likewise what euery man should do when the pinch
came, and changing his cloke with one of his fellowes, walked by
himselfe attending the feate: and every one being as ready, the
apointed fellow makes his sally foorth, and comming to the Gentleman,
calling him by his name, giues him the courtesie and embrace, likewise
thanking him for good choere he had at his house, which he did with
such seemly behaviour & protestation, as the Gentleman (thinking the
other to be no lesse) used like action of kindenesse to him. Now as
Country Gentlemen haue many visiters both with neere dwelling
neighbours, and freends that iourney from farre, whom they can hardly
remember, but some principall one that servus as countenance to the
other: so hee not discrediting the cunning mates words, who still at
every point alleaged his kinred to the knight neighbor to the
Gentleman, which the poore serving man had (doubting no ill) reuealed
before, and that both there and at his owne house in hawking time with
that knight and other Gentlemen of the countrey he had liberally
tasted his kindnes: desiring pardon that he had forgotten him, and
offered him the curtesie of the citie. The Conny-catcher excused
himselfe for that time, saying, at their next meeting hee would bestow
it on him. Then seeming to have espyed his chaine, and commending the
fairenes and woorkemanship thereof: saies, I pray ye sir take a litle
counsel of a friend, it may be you will returne thankes for it. I
wonder quoth he, you dare weare such a costly Jewell so open in sight,
which is euen but a baite to entice bad men to adventure time and
place for it, and no where sooner then in this cittie, where (I may
say to you) are such a number of Connycatchers, Cossoners and such
like, that a man can scarecly koepe any thing from them, they have so
many reaches and sleights to beguile withall: which a very especiall
freend of mine found too true not manye dayes since. Weereupon he
tolde a very solemne tale, of villanies and knaveries in his own
profession, whereby he reported his freeend had lost a watch of gold;
shewing how closely his friend wore it in his bosome, and howe
straungely it was gotten from him, that the gentleman by that
discourse wared halfe affraid of his chaine. And giving him many
thankes for his good warning, presently takes the Chaine from about
his necke, and tying it up fast in a handkercher put it up into his
sleeue saying. If the Conny-catcher get it heere, let him not spare
it. Not a little did the tretcher smile in his sleeue, hearing the
rashe securitie, but in deede simplicitie of the Gentleman, and no
sooner sawe he it put vp, but presently he counted it sure his owne,
by the assistance of his complices, that lay in an ambuscado for the
purpose: with embraces and courtesies on either side, the
Conny-catcher departs, leaving the gentleman walking there still:
whereat the crewe were not a little offended, that he still kept in
the Church, and would not goe abroad. Well, at length (belike
remembring some businesse) the Gentleman taking leave of an other that
talked with him, hasted to go forth at the furthest west doore of
Paules, which he that had talked with him, and gave him such counsell
perceiuing, hied out of the other doore, and got to the entrance ere
hee came foorth, the rest following the gentleman at an inche. As hee
was stepping out, the other stept in, and let fall a key, hauing his
hat so low ouer his eyes, that he could not well discerne his face,
and stooping to take up the keye, kept the Gentleman from going
backward or forward, by reason his legge was ouer the threshold. The
formost Conny-catcher behind, pretending a quarrell vnto him that
stooped, rapping out an oth, and drawing his dagger, saide: Doe I
meete the villaine? Nay, he shall not scape me now, and so made offer
to strike him.