The Third And Last Part Of Conny Catching. (1592) by R. G.
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R. G. >> The Third And Last Part Of Conny Catching. (1592)
THE
Third and last part of Conny-catching.
With the new deuised knauish arte of
Foole-taking.
_The like coosnages and villanies never before discouered._
By R.G.
[Illustration]
Printed by _T.Scarlet_ for _C.Burby_, and are to be solde at
his shop vnder S.Mildreds Church in the Poultrie. 1592.
TO ALL SVCH AS HAVE
receiued either pleasure or profite by the two
former published bookes of this
Argument:
And to all beside, that desire to know the wonderfull
slie deuises of this hellish crew
of Conny-catchers.
[Illustration: I]
In the time of king Henrie the fourth, as our English Chronicles haue
kept in remembrance, liued diuerse sturdie and loose companions in
sundrie places about the Citie of London, who gaue themselues to no
good course of life, but because the time was somewhat troublesome,
watched diligently, when by the least occasion of mutinie offered,
they might praie vppon the goods of honest Citizens, and so by their
spoyle inrich themselues. At that time liued likewise a worthie
Gentleman, whose many verie famius deeds (wherof I am sorie I may here
make no rehearsal, because neither time nor occasion will permitte me)
renowne his name to all ensuing posterities: he, being called sir
_Richard Whittington_, the founder of Whittington Colledge in
London, and one that bare the office of Lord Maior of this Citie three
seuerall times. This worthie man wel noting the dangerous disposition
of that idle kinde of people, tooke such good and discreete order
(after hee had sent diuers of them to serue in the kings warres, and
they loath to doe so well returned to their former vomite) that in no
place of or about London they might haue lodging, or entertainment,
except they applied themselues to such honest trades and exercises, as
might witnesse their maintaining was by true and honest meanes. If any
to the contrarie were founde, they were in iustice so sharply
proceeded against, as the most hurtfull and dangerous enemies to the
commonwealth.
In this quiet and most blissefull time of peace, when all men (in
course of life) should shew themselves most thankfull for so great a
benefit, this famous citie is pestered with the like, or rather worse
kinde of people, that beare outward shew of ciuill, honest, and
gentlemanlike disposition, but in very deed their behauiour is most
infamous to be spoken of. And as now by their close villanies they
cheate, cosen, prig, lift, nippe, and such like tricks now vsed in
their _Conie-catching_ Trade, to the hurt and vndoing of many an
honest Citizen, and other: So if God should in iustice be angrie with
vs, as our wickednesse hath well deserued, and (as the Lorde forsend)
our peace should be molested as in former time, euen as they did, so
will these be the first in seeking domesticall spoile and ruine: yea
so they may haue it, it skilles not how they come by it. God raise
such another as was worthie _Whittington_, that in time may
bridle the headstrong course of this hellish crew, and force them liue
as becommeth honest subiects, or els to abide the rewarde of their
loosenesse.
By reading this little tratise ensuing, you shall see to what
marueilous subtil pollicies these deceiuers have atteyned, and how
daylie they practise strange driftes for their purpose. I say no more,
but if all these forewarnings may be regarded, to the beneft of the
well minded, and iust controll of these carelesse wretches, it is all
I desire, and no more then I hope to see.
Yours in all he may
R. G.
[Illustration: ]
The third and last part of Conny-catching with the new deuifed knauish
Arte of Fooletaking.
Being by chance inuited to supper, where were present diuers, both of
worship an good accompt, as occasion serued for entercourse of talke,
the present treacheries and wicked deuises of the world was called in
question. Amongst other most hatefull and wel worthie reprebension,
the woondrous villanies of loose and lewde persons, that beare the
shape of men, yet are monsters in condition, was specially remembred,
and not onely they, but their complices, their confederates, their
base natured women and close compacters were noted: Namely, such as
tearme themselues Conny-catchers, Crosse-biters, with their
appertaining names to their seueral coosening qualities, as already is
made knowne to the world, by two seuerall imprinted books, by means
whereof, the present kinde of conference was occasioned. Quoth a
Gentleman sitting at the Table, whose deepe step into age deciphered
his experience, and whose grauitie in speeche reported his discretion,
quoth hee, by the two published bookes of Cony-catching: I have seene
divers thinges whereof I was before ignorant, not withstanding had I
beene acquainted with the author: I could haue giuen him such notes of
notorious matters that way intending, as in neither of the pamphlets
are the like set downe. Beside, they are so necessarie to be knowne,
as they will both forearme any man against such trecherous vipers, and
forewarne the simpler sort from conuersing with them. The Gentleman
being knowne to be within commission of the peace, and that what he
spake of either came to him by examinations, or by riding in the
circuits as other like officers do: was intreated by one man aboue the
rest (as his leisure serued him) to acquaint him with those notes, and
he would so bring it to passe, as the writer of the other two bookes,
should haue the sight of them, and if theyr quantitie would serue,
that he should publish them as a third, and more necessary part then
the former were. The Gentleman replied al such notes as I speake, are
not of mine owne knowledge, yet from such men haue I receiued them, as
I dare assure their truth: and but that by naming men wronged by such
mates, more displeasure would ensue then were expedient, I could set
downe both time, place, and parties. But the certaintie shal suffice
without any such offence. As for such as that see their iniuries
discouered, and (biting the lip) say to themselues, thus was I made a
Conny: their names being shadowed, they haue no cause of anger, in
that the example of their honest simplicitie beguiled, may shield a
number more endangered from tasting the like. And seeing you haue
promised to make them knowne to the author of the former two Bookes,
you shall the sooner obtaine your request: assuring him thus much vpon
my credit & honestie, that no one vntrueth is in the notes, but euerie
one credible, and to be iustified if need serue. Within a fortnight
or thereabout afterward, the Gentleman performed his promise, in
seuerall papers sent the notes, which here are in our book compiled
together when thou hast read, say, if euer thou heardest more notable
villanies discouered. And if thou or thy friends receiue any good by
this, as it cannot be but they will make a number more carefull of
themselues: thanke the honest Gentleman for his notes, and the writer
that published both the other and these, for generall example.
A pleasant tale howe an honest substantiall Citizen was made a Connie,
and simplie entertained a knaue that carried awaie his goods verie
politickly.
What laws are used among this helish crew, what words and termes they
give themselves and their copesmates, are at large set downe in the
former two Bookes: let it suffise yee then in this, to read the simple
true discourses of such as have by extraordinary cunning and treachery
beene deceived, and remembering their subtle meanes there, and slye
practises here, be prepared against the reaches of any such
companions.
Not long since, a crew of Conny-catchers meeting togither, and in
conference, laying downe such courses as they severally should take,
to shunne suspect, and returne a common benfit among them: the Carders
received their charge, the Dicers theirs, the hangers about the court
theirs, the followers of Sermons theirs and so the rest to their
offices. But one of them especiallie, who at their woonted meetings,
when reporte was made howe every purchase was gotten, and by what
pollycie each one prevailed: this fellowe in a kinde of priding
scorne, would usually say.
In faithe Maisters these thinges are prettily done, common sleyghts,
expressing no deepe reache of witte, and I woonder men are so simple
to bee so beguiled. I would fayne see some rare and artificiall feate
indeede, that some admiration and fame might insue the dooing thereof:
I promise yee, I disdayne these base and pettie paltries, and may my
fortune iumpe with my resolution, yee shall heare my boyes with in a
day or two, that I will accomplish a rare stratagem indeed, of more
value then fortie of yours, and when it is done shall carry some
credit with it. They wondring at his wordes, desired to see the
successe of them, & so dispersing themselves as they were accustomed,
left this frollicke fellow pondering on his affaires. A Cittizens
house in London, which hee had diligently eyed & aymed at for a
fortnights space, was the place wherein he must performe this exploit,
and having learned one of the servant maides name of the house, as
also where shee was borne and her kindred. Upon a sonday in the
afternone, when it was her turne to attend on her maister and mistres
to the garden in Finsbury fields, to regard the children while they
sported about, this craftie mate having dulie watched their comming
forth, and seeing that they intended to goe downe S. Laurence lane,
stepped before them, ever casting an eye back, least they should turne
some contrarie way: but their following still fitting his owne desire,
neere unto the Conduit in Aldermanbury, he crossed the way and came
unto the maid, and kissing her sayd. Coosen Margeret, I am verye glad
to see you well, my unckle your father, and all your friends in the
Countrey are in good health God be praised. The Maide hearing herselfe
named, and not knowing the man, modestly blushed, which hee
perceiving, held way on with her amongst her fellow apprentices, and
thus began againe. I see Coosen you knowe mee not, and I doe not
greatlie blame you, it is so long since you came foorth of the
Countrey, but I am such a ones sonne, naming her Uncle right, and his
sonnes name, which she very well remembred, but had not seene him in
eleven yeares. Then taking foorth a bowed groat, and an olde pennie
bowed, he gave it her as being sent from her Uncle and Aunt, whome hee
tearmed to bee his father and mother: Withall (quoth he) I have a
Gammon of bacon and a Cheese from my Uncle your Father, which are sent
to your Maister and Mistresse, which I received of the Carrier,
because my Uncle enioyned me to deliver them, when I must intreat your
mistres, that at Whitsontide next shee will give you leave to come
downe into the Countrey. The Maide thinking simplie all hee said was
true, and as they so farre from their parents, are not onely glad to
heare of their welfare, but also rejoyce to see any of their kindred:
so this this poor Maid, wel knowing her Uncle had a sonne so named as
he called himself, and thinking from a boy (as he was at her leaving
the Countrey) he was now growne such a proper handsome young man, was
not a little joyful to see him: beside, shee seemed proud, that her
kinsman was so neat a youth, and so shee held on questioning with him
about her friends: hee soothing each matter so cunningly, as the maide
was confidently perswaded of him. In this time, one of the children
stepped to her mother and said, Our Marget (mother) hath a fine coosen
come out of the Country, and he hath a Cheese for my Father and you:
whereon shee looking backe, said: Maide, is that your kinsman? yes
forsooth mistresse quoth shee, my Uncles sonne, whome I left a little
one when I came forth of the countrey.
The wilye Treacher, beeing maister of his trade, would not let slippe
this opportunitie, but courteouslie stepping to the Mistresse (who
loving her maid wel, because indeed shee had been a very good servant,
and from her first comming to London had dwelt with her, tould her
husband therof) coyned such a smooth tale unto them both, fronting it
with the Gammon of Bacon and the Cheese sent from their maides Father,
and hoping they would giue her leaue at Whitsontide to visit the
countrey, as they with verie kinde words entertained him, inuiting him
the next night to supper, when he promised to bring with him the
Gammon of Bacon and the Cheese. Then framing an excuse of certaine
busines in the town, for that time he tooke his leaue of the Maister
and Mistresse, and his new Cosen Margaret, who gave many a looke after
him (poore wench) as he went, ioying in her thoughts to haue such a
kinsman.
On the morrow hee prepared a good Gammon of bacon, which he closed up
in a soiled linnen cloth, and sewed an old card vpon it, whereon he
wrote a superscription vnto the Maister of the Maide, and at what
signe it was to be deliuered, and afterward scraped some of the
letters halfe out, that it might seeme they had bin rubd out in the
carriage. A good Cheese he prepared likewise, with inscription
accordingly on it, that it could not be discerned, but that some
unskilfull writer in the country had done it, both by the grosse
proportion of the letters, as also the bad ortographie which amongst
plaine husbandmen is verie common, in that they haue no better
instruction. So hiring a Porter to carrie them betweene flue and fire
in the evening he comes to the cittizens house, and entring the shop,
receives them of the Porter, whome the honest meaning Cittizen would
have paid for his pains, but this his maids new-found Cosen sayd hee
was satisfied alreadie, and so straining courtesse would not permit
him: well, vp are carried the Bacon and the Cheese, where God knowes,
Margaret was not a little busse, to haue all things fine and neat
against her Cosens comming vp, her Mistresse like wise, (as one well
affecting her seruant) had prouided verie good cheere, set all her
plate on the Cubboorde for shewe, and beautified the house with
Cusheons, carpets, stooles and other deuises of needle worke, as at
such times diuers will do, to haue the better report made of their
credite amongst their seruants friends in the Country, albeit at this
time (God wot) it turned to theyr owne after-sorrowing. The maister
of the house, to delay the time while Supper was readye, hee likewise
shewes this dissembler his shop, who seeing things fadge so pat to his
purpose, could question of this sort, and that well enougth I warrant
you, to discern the best from the worst and their appointed places,
purposing a further reache then the honest Cittizen dreamed of: and to
bee plaine with ye, such was this occupiers trade, as though I may not
name it, yet thus much I dare vtter, that the worst thing he could
carry away, was aboue twentie nobles, because hee dealt altogeather in
whole and great sale, which made this companion forge this kindred and
aquaintance, for an hundred pound or twaine was the very least he
aimed at. At length the mistresse sendes word supper is on the Table,
where vpon vp hee conducts his guest, and after diuers welcomes, as
also thanks for the Cheese and Bacon: To the Table they sit, where let
it suffice, hee wanted no ordinarie good fare, wine and other knackes,
beside much talke of the Countrey, how much his friends were beholding
for his Cosen Margaret, to whome by her mistresse leaue hee dranke
twise or thrise, and she poore soule dooing the like againe to him
with remembrance of her father and other kindred, which he stil
smoothed very cunningly. Countenance of talke made them careles of
the time which slipped from them faster then they were aware of, nor
did the deceiuer hasten his departing, because he expected what indeed
followed, which was, that being past tenne of the clocke, and he
feigning his lodging to be at Saint Gyles in the field, was intreated
both by the goodman and his wife to take a bed there for that night,
for fashion sake (though very glad of this offer) hee said he would
not troble them, but giuing them many thanks, would to his lodging
though it were further. But wonderfull it was to see how earnest the
honest Citizen and his wife laboured to perswade him, that was more
willing to staye then they could bee to bid him, and what dissembled
willingnesse of departure hee vsed on the other side, to couer the
secret villanie intended. Well, at the length with much ado, he is
contented to stay, when Margaret and her Mistresse presently stirred
to make ready his bed, which the more to the honest mans hard hap, but
all the better for this artificial Conny-catcher, was in the same room
where they supped, being commonly called their hall, and there indeed
stood a verie faire bed, as in such sightly roumes it may easily bee
thought, Citizens vse not to haue any thing meane or simple. The
mistresse, least her guest should imagine she disturbed him, suffered
all the plate to stand still on the cupbord: and when she perceiued
his bed was warmed, and euery thing els according to her mind, she and
her husband bidding him good night: tooke themselues to their chamber,
which was on the same floore but inward, hauing another chamber
betweene them and the hall, wherw the maides and children had their
lodging. So desiring him to call for any thing hee wanted, and
charging Margaret to looke it should bee so, to bed are they gone:
when the Apprentises hauing brought vp the keyes of the street dore, &
left them in their maisters chamber as they were woont to do, after
they had said praiers, their evening exercise, to bed go they
likewise, which was in a Garret backward ouer their maisters
chamber. None are nowe vp but poore Margaret and her counterfeit
coosen, whom she loth to offend with long talke, because it waxed
late: after some few more speeches, about their parents and friends in
the countrey, she seeing him laid in bed, and all such thinges by him
as she deemed needfull, with a low courtesie I warrant ye, commits him
to his quiet, and so went to bed to her fellowes the maidseruants.
Well did this hypocrite perceive the keyes of the doores carried into
the goodmans chamber, wherof he being not a litle glad, thoght now
they would imagine all things sure, and therfore doutlesse sleep the
sounder: as for the keyes, he needed no helpe of them, because such as
hee go neuer vnprouided of instruments fitting their trade, & so at
this time was this notable trecher. In the dead time of the night when
sound sleepe makes the eare vnapt to heare the verie least noyse, he
forsaketh his bed, & hauing gotten al the plate bound up togither in
his cloke, goeth down into the shop, where well remembring both the
plate & parcels, maketh vp his pack with some twenty pounds worth of
goods more. Then setling to his engin, he getteth the doore off the
hinges, and being foorth, lifteth close to againe, and so departs,
meeting with in a doozen paces, three or foure of his companions that
lurked therabouts for the purpose. Their word for knowing each other,
as is said, was Quest, and this villains comfortable newes to them,
was Twag, signifiyng hee had sped: ech takes a fleece for easier
carriage, and so away to Belbrow, which as I haue heard is as they
interpret it, the house of a theefe receiuer, without which they can
do nothing, and this house with an apt porter to it, standes ready for
them al houres of the night: too many such are there in London, the
maisters whereof beare countenance of honest substantiall men, but all
their living is gotten in this order, the end of such (though they
scape awhile) will be sailing westward in a Cart to Eiborn. Imagine
these villanies there in their iollitie, the one porting point by
point his cunning deceipt, and the other (fitting his humour)
extolling the deede with no meane commendations. But returning to the
honest Citizen, who finding in the morning how dearly he paid for a
gammon of bacon, and a cheese, and how his kinde courtesie was thus
trecherously requited: blames the poore maide, as innocent herein as
himselfe, and imprisoning her, thinking so to regaine his owne: griefe
with ill cherishing there shortens her life: And thus ensueth one hard
hap upon another, to the great griefe both of maister and mistresse,
when the trueth was knowne, that they so wronged their honest servant:
how it may forewarne others, I leave to your owne opinions, that see
what extraordinarie devises are now avayed, to beguile the simple and
honest liberall minded.
Of a notable knave, who for his cunning deceiving a gentleman of his
purse: scorned the name of a Conny-catcher, and would needs be termed
a Foole-taker, as maister and beginner Of that new found Arte.
A Crew of these wicked companions, being one day met togither in Pauls
Church (as that is a usual place of their assemblie, both to determin
on their drifts, as also to speed of many a bootie) seeing no
likelihood of a good afternoone, so they tearme it either fore-noone
or after, when ought is to be done: some dispersed themselves to the
plaies, other to the bowling allies and not past two or three stayed
in the Church. Quoth on of them, I have vowed not to depart, but
something or other Ile haue before I go: my minde giues me, that this
place yet will yeelde us all our suppers this night, the other holding
like opinion with him, there likewise walked vp and downe, looking
when occasion would serue for some Cash. At length they espyed a
Gentleman towarde the lawe entring in at the little North doore, and a
countrey Clyent going with him in verye hard talke, the Gentleman
holding his gowne open with his armes on eyther side as very manie
doe, gaue sight of a faire purple velvet purse, which was halfe put
vnder his girdle: which I warrant you the resolute fellow that would
not depart without some thing, had quicklye espyed. A game, quote hee
to his fellows, marke the stand, and so separating themselves walked
aloofe, the Gentleman going to the nether steppe of the staires that
ascend vp into the Quire, and there he walked still with his
client. Oft this crew of mates met together, and said there was no
hope of nipping the bong because he held open his gowne so wide, and
walked in such an open place. Base knaves, quoth the frolik fellowe,
if I say I will have it, I must have it, though hee that owes it had
sworne the contrarie. Then looking aside, hee spyed his trugge or
queane comming vppe the Church: away, quoth hee to the other, go looke
you for some other purchase, this wench and I are suffient for
this. They goe, he lessons the drab in this sort, that shee should to
the Gentleman, whose name shee verye well knew, in that shee had holpe
to coosen him once before, & pretending to be sent to him from one he
was well acquainted with for his councell should give him his fee for
auoiding suspition, & so frame some wrong done hir as well inough she
could: when her mate (taking occasion as it serued) would woorke the
meane, shee should strike, & so they both prevaile. The queane well
inured with such courses, because she was one of the most skilful in
that profession, walked up and downe alone in the Gentlemans sight,
that he might discerne shee stayed to speake with him, and as he
turned toward her, hee saw her take money out of her purse, whereby
hee gathered some benefite was toward him: which made him the sooner
dispatch his other clyent, when shee stepping to him, told such a tale
of commendations from his verie friend, that had sent her to him as
she said, that hee entertained her very kindly, and giving him his fee,
which before her face he put up into his purse, and thrust under his
girdle againe: she proceeded to a very sound discourse, whereto he
listened with no little attention. The time serving fit for the
fellows purpose, he came behind the Gentleman, and as many times one
friend wil familiarly with another, clap his hands over his eyes to
make him guesse who he is, so did this companion, holding his hands
fast over the Gentlemans eyes, sayde: who am I: twise or thrise, in
which time the drab had gotten the purse and put it up. The Gentleman
thinking it had been some merrie friend of his, reckoned the names of
three or foure, when letting him go, the crafty knave dissembling a
bashful shame of what he had done, said: By my troth sir I crie ye
mercy, as I came in at the Church doore, I took ye for such a one
(naming a man) a verie friend of mine, whome you very much resemble: I
beseech ye be not angrie, it was verie boldlye done of me, but in
penance of my fault, so please yee to accept it, I will bestow a
gallon or two of Wine on yee, and so laboured him earnestly to go with
him to the taverne, stil alledging his sorow for mistaking him. The
Gentleman little suspecting how who am I had handled him, seeing how
sorie he was, and seeming to be a man of no such base condition: tooke
all in good part, saying: No harme sir, to take one for another, a
fault wherein any man may easily erre, and so excusing the acceptation
of his wine, because he was busie there with a gentlewoman his friend:
the trecher with courtesie departed, & the drab (having what shee
would) shortning her tale, hee desiring her to come to his Chamber the
next morning, went to the place where her copes-mate and she met, and
not long after, divers other of the crue, who bearing in what manner
this act was performed, smiled a good therat, that she had both got
the Gentlemans purse, her owne money againe, and his advise for iust
nothing. He that had done this tall exploit, in a place so open in
view, so hardly to be come by, & on a man that made no meane esteem of
his wit: bids his fellowes keepe the worthles name of a Conny-catcher
to themselves: for he hence-foorth would bee termed a Foole-taker, and
such as could imitate this quaint example of his, (which he would set
down as an entrance into that art) should not thinke scorne to become
his schollers.