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The Mahabharata of Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa, Volume 4 by or: Kisari Mohan Ganguli

O >> or: Kisari Mohan Ganguli >> The Mahabharata of Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa, Volume 4






SECTION LXXV

"Vaisampayana said, 'That foremost of steeds then proceeded to the realm
of Pragjyotisha and began to wander there. At this, Bhagadatta's son, who
was exceedingly valorous in battle, came out (for encountering Arjuna).
King Vajradatta, O chief of the Bharatas, finding the (sacrificial) steed
arrived within his realm, fought (for detaining it). The royal son of
Bhagadatta, issuing out of his city, afflicted the steed that was coming
(and seizing it), marched back towards his own place. Marking this, the
mighty-armed chief of the Kuru race, speedily stretched his Gandiva, and
suddenly rushed towards his foe. Stupefied by the shafts sped from
Gandiva, the heroic son of Bhagadatta, letting off loose the steed, fled
from Partha.[191] Once more entering his capital, that foremost of kings,
irresistible in battle, cased himself in mail, and mounting on his prince
of elephants, came out. That mighty car-warrior had a white umbrella held
over his head, and was fanned with a milk-white yak-tail. Impelled by
childishness and folly, he challenged Partha, the mighty car-warrior of
the Pandavas, famed for terrible deeds in battle, to an encounter with
him. The enraged prince then urged towards Arjuna that elephant of his,
which resembled a veritable mountain, and from whose temples and mouth
issued streams of juice indicative of excitement. Indeed, that elephant
showered its secretions like a mighty mass of clouds pouring rain.
Capable of resisting hostile feats of its own species, it had been
equipped agreeably to the ordinances of the treatises (on war-elephants).
Irresistible in battle, it had become so infuriate as to be beyond
control. Urged on by the prince with the iron-hook, that mighty elephant
then seemed (as it advanced) as if it would cut through the welkin (like
a flying hill). Beholding it advance towards him, O king, Dhananjaya,
filled with rage and standing on the earth, O Bharata, encountered the
prince on its back. Filled with wrath, Vajradatta quickly sped at Arjuna
a number of broad-headed shafts endued with the energy of fire and
resembling (as they coursed through the air) a cloud of speedily-moving
locusts. Arjuna, however, with shafts sped from Gandiva, cut off those
arrows, some into two and some into three pieces. He cut them off in the
welkin itself with those shafts of his coursing through the welkin. The
son of Bhagadatta, beholding his broad-headed shafts thus cut off,
quickly sped at Arjuna a number of other arrows in a continuous line.
Filled with rage at this, Arjuna, more quickly than before, shot at
Bhagadatta's son a number of straightly coursing arrows equipt with
golden wings. Vajradatta of mighty energy, struck with great force and
pierced with these arrows in that fierce encounter, fell down on the
Earth. Consciousness, however, did not desert him. Mounting on his prince
of elephants again in the midst of that battle the son of Bhagadatta,
desirous of victory, very coolly sped a number of shafts at Arjuna.
Filled with wrath, Jishnu then sped at the prince a number of arrows that
looked like blazing flames of fire and that seemed to be so many snakes
of virulent poison. Pierced therewith, the mighty elephant, emitting a
large quantity of blood, looked like a mountain of many springs
discharging rills of water coloured with red chalk.'"



SECTION LXXVI

"Vaisampayana said, 'Thus waged that battle, O chief of the Bharatas, for
three days between Arjuna and that prince like the encounter between him
of a hundred sacrifices and Vritra. On the fourth day, Vajradatta of
great might laughed loudly and, addressing Arjuna, said these words:
'Wait, wait, O Arjuna. Thou shalt not escape me with life. Slaying thee I
shall duly discharge the water-rite of my sire. My aged sire, Bhagadatta,
who was the friend of thy sire, was slain by thee in consequence of his
weight of years. Do thou, however, fight me that am but a boy!'[192]
Having said these words, O thou of Kuru's race, king Vajradatta, filled
with rage, urged his elephant towards the son of Pandu. Urged on by
Vajradatta of great intelligence, that prince of elephants, as if
desirous of cutting through the welkin, rushed towards Dhananjaya. That
prince of elephants drenched Arjuna with a shower of juice emitted from
the end of his trunk, like a mass of blue clouds drenching a hill with
its downpour. Indeed, urged on by the king, elephant, repeatedly roaring
like a cloud, rushed towards Phalguna, with that deep noise emitted from
its mouth. Verily, urged on by Vajradatta, that prince of elephants
quickly moved towards the mighty car-warrior of the Kurus, with the tread
of one that seemed to dance in excitement. Beholding that beast of
Vajradatta advance towards him, that slayer of foes, viz., the mighty
Dhananjaya, relying on Gandiva, stood his ground without shaking with
fear. Recollecting what an obstacle Vajradatta was proving to the
accomplishment of his task, and remembering the old enmity of the house
(of Pragjyotisha towards the Pandavas), the son of Pandu became
exceedingly inflamed with wrath against the king. Filled with rage,
Dhananjaya impeded the course of that beast with a shower of arrows like
the shore resisting the surging sea. That prince of elephants possessed
of beauty (of form), thus impeded by Arjuna, stopped in its course, with
body pierced with many an arrow, like a porcupine with its quills erect.
Seeing his elephant impeded in its course, the royal son of Bhagadatta,
deprived of sense by rage, shot many whetted arrows at Arjuna. The
mighty-armed Arjuna baffled all those arrows with many foe-slaying shafts
of his. The feat seemed to be exceedingly wonderful. Once more the king
of the Pragjyotishas, inflamed with ire, forcibly urged his elephant,
which resembled a mountain, at Arjuna. Beholding the beast once more
advancing towards him, Arjuna shot with great strength a shaft at it that
resembled a veritable flame of fire. Struck deeply in the very vitals, O
king, by the son of Pandu, the beast suddenly fell down on the Earth like
a mountain summit loosened by a thunder-bolt. Struck with Dhartanjaya's
shaft, the elephant, as it lay on the Earth, looked like a huge mountain
cliff lying on the ground, loosened by the bolt of Indra. When the
elephant of Vajradatta was prostrated on the ground, the son of Pandu,
addressing the king who had fallen down with his beast, said,--'Do not
fear. Indeed, Yudhishthira of mighty energy said unto me while
commissioning me for this task even these words,--'Thou shouldst not, O
Dhananjaya, slay those kings (who may encounter thee in battle). O tiger
among men, thou shouldst regard thy task as accomplished if only thou
disablest those hostile kings. Thou shouldst not also, O Dhananjaya, slay
the warriors of those kings who may come forth to fight thee, with all
their kinsmen and friends. They should be requested to come to the
horse-sacrifice of Yudhishthira.'--Having heard these commands of my
brother, I shall not slay thee, O king. Rise up; let no fear be thine;
return to thy city safe and sound, O lord of Earth. When the day of full
moon in the month of Chaitra comes, thou shalt, O great king, repair to
that sacrifice of king Yudhishthira the just, for it takes place on that
day. Thus addressed by Arjuna, the royal son of Bhagadatta, defeated by
the son of Pandu, said,--'So be it.'"



SECTION LXXVII

"Vaisampayana said, 'There occurred a great battle between the
diadem-decked Arjuna and the hundreds of Saindhavas who still lived after
the slaughter of their clan (on the field of Kurukshetra). Hearing that
he of white steeds had entered their territories, those Kshatriyas came
out against him, unable to bear that foremost one of Pandu's race. Those
warriors who were as terrible as virulent poison, finding the horse
within their dominion, seized it without being inspired with any fear of
Partha who was the younger brother of Bhimasena. Advancing against
Vibhatsu who waited on foot, armed with his bow, upon the sacrificial
steed, they assailed him from a near point. Defeated in battle before,
those Kshatriyas of mighty energy, impelled by the desire of victory,
surrounded that foremost of men. Proclaiming their names and families and
their diverse feats, they showered their arrows on Partha. Pouring
showers of arrows of such fierce energy as were capable of impeding the
course of hostile elephants, those heroes surrounded the son of Kunti,
desirous of vanquishing him in battle. Themselves seated on cars, they
fought Arjuna of fierce feats who was, on foot. From every side they
began to strike that hero, that slayer of the Nivatakavachas, that
destroyer of the Samasaptakas, that killer of the king of the Sindhus.
Surrounding him on every side as within a cage by means of a thousand
cars and ten thousand horses, those brave warriors expressed their
exaltation. Recollecting the slaughter by Dhananjaya of Jayadratha in
battle, O thou of Kuru's race, they poured heavy showers of arrows on
that hero like a mass of clouds showering a heavy downpour. Over-whelmed
with that arrowy shower, Arjuna looked like the sun covered by a cloud.
That foremost son of Pandu, in the midst of that cloud of arrows,
resembled a bird in the midst of an iron cage, O Bharata. Seeing the son
of Kunti thus afflicted with shafts, cries of Oh and Alas were uttered by
the three worlds and the Sun himself became shorn of his splendour. Then,
O king, a terrible wind began to blow, and Rahu swallowed up both the Sun
and the Moon at the same time. Many meteors struck the solar disc and
then shot in different directions. The prince of mountains, viz.,
Kailasa, began to tremble. The seven (celestial) Rishis, as also the
other Rishis of Heaven, penetrated with fear, and afflicted with grief
and sorrow, breathed hot sighs. Piercing through the welkin, those
meteors fell on the lunar disc as well. All the points of the compass
became filled with smoke and assumed a strange aspect. Reddish clouds,
with flashes of lightning playing in their midst and the bow of Indra
measuring them from side to side, suddenly covered the welkin and poured
flesh and bloods on the Earth. Even such was the aspect which all nature
assumed when that hero was overwhelmed with showers of shafts. Indeed,
when Phalguna, that foremost one among the Bharatas, was thus afflicted,
those marvels were seen. Overwhelmed by that dense cloud of arrows,
Arjuna became stupefied. His bow, Gandiva, fell down from his relaxed
grip and his leathern fence also slipped down. When Dhananjaya became
stupefied, the Saindhava warriors once more shot at that senseless
warrior, without loss of time, innumerable other shafts. Understanding
that the son of Pritha was deprived of consciousness, the deities, with
hearts penetrated by fear, began to seek his welfare by uttering diverse
benedictions. Then the celestial Rishis, the seven Rishis, and the
regenerate Rishis, became engaged in silent recitations from desire of
giving victory to Pritha's son of great intelligence. When at last the
energy of Partha blazed forth through those acts of the denizens of
Heaven, that hero, who was conversant with celestial weapons of high
efficacy, stood immovable like a hill. The delighter of the Kurus then
drew his celestial bow. And as he repeatedly stretched the bowstring, the
twang that followed resembled the loud sound of some mighty machine. Like
Purandara pouring rain, the puissant Arjuna then, with that bow of his,
poured incessant showers of shafts on his foes. Pierced by those shafts
the Saindhava warriors with their chiefs became invisible like trees when
covered with locusts. They were frightened at the very sound of Gandiva,
and afflicted by fear they fled away. In grief of heart they shed tears
and uttered loud lamentations. The mighty warrior moved amidst that host
of foes with the celerity of a fiery wheel, all the time piercing those
warriors with his arrows. Like the great Indra, the wielder of the
thunder-bolt, that slayer of foes, viz., Arjuna, shot from his bow in
every direction that shower of arrows which resembled a sight produced by
magic (instead of any human agency). The Kaurava hero, piercing the
hostile host with showers of arrows, looked resplendent like the autumnal
Sun when he disperses the clouds with his powerful rays.'"



SECTION LXXVIII

"Vaisampayana said, 'The irresistible wielder of Gandiva, addresst for
battle, stood immovable on the field like Himavat himself. The Saindhava
warriors, once more rallying, showered in great wrath repeated down-pours
of shifts on him. The mighty-armed hero, laughing at his foes, who had
once more rallied but who were on the point of death, addressed them in
these soft words,--'Do ye fight to the best of your power and do ye
endeavour to vanquish me. Do ye however, accomplish all necessary acts,
for a great danger awaits you all. See, I fight all of you, baffling your
clouds of arrows. Bent as you are on battle, tarry a little. I shall soon
quell your pride.' The wielder of Gandiva, having said these words in
wrath, recollected, however, the words, O Bharata, of his eldest brother.
Those words were,--'Thou shouldst not, O child, slay those Kshatriyas who
will come against thee for battle. They should, however, be vanquished by
thee. That foremost of men, Phalguna, had been thus addressed by king
Yudhishthira the just, of great soul. He, therefore, began to reflect in
this strain. 'Even thus was I commissioned by my brother. Warriors
advancing against me should not be slain. I must act in such a way as not
to falsify the words of king Yudhishthira the just.' Having arrived at
this conclusion, Phalguna, that foremost of men, then said unto those
Saindhavas who were all fierce in battle, these words:--'I say what is
for your benefit. Though staying before me. I do not wish to slay you. He
amongst you who will say unto me that he has been vanquished by me and
that he is mine, will be spared by me. Having heard these words of mine,
act towards me in that way which may best conduce to your benefit. By
acting in a different way you will place yourselves in a situation of
great fear and danger.' Having said these words unto those heroic
warriors the chief of the Kurus began to fight them. Arjuna was inflamed
with wrath. His foes, desirous of victory, were equally enraged. The
Saindhavas then, O king, shot hundreds and thousands of straight arrows
at the wielder of Gandiva. Dhananjaya, with his own whetted shafts, cut
off those arrows of sharp and terrible points, resembling snakes of
virulent poison, before they could come up to him. Having cut off those
sharp arrows equipt with Kanka feathers, Arjuna pierced each of the
warriors opposed to him with a whetted shaft. The Saindhava Kshatriyas,
recollecting that it was Dhananjaya who had slain their king Jayadratha,
then hurled at him darts and javelins with great force. The diadem-decked
Dhananjaya of great might baffled their intent by cutting off all those
weapons before any of them could reach him. At length the son of Pandu
became highly angry. With many straight and broad-headed arrows, he
felled the heads of many of those warriors who were rushing at him from
desire of victory. Many fled, many rushed at Arjuna; many moved not, all
of them, however, uttered such aloud noise (of wrath and grief) that it
resembled the roar of the ocean. As they were slain by Partha of
immeasurable might, they fought him, each according to his strength and
prowess. Their animals being all exhausted, Partha succeeded in depriving
a large number of those warriors of their senses by means of his sharpest
shafts in that battle. Then Dussala, their queen, the daughter of
Dhritarashtra, knowing that they were rendered cheerless by Arjuna, took
her grandson in her arms and repaired to Arjuna. The child was the son of
Suratha (the son of Jayadratha). The brave prince proceeded to his
maternal uncle on his car for the safety of all the Saindhava warriors.
The queen, arrived at the presence of Dhananjaya, began to weep in
sorrow. The puissant Dhananjaya, seeing her, cast off his bow. Abandoning
his bow, Partha duly received his sister and enquired of her as to what
he could do for her. The queen replied unto him, saying,--'O chief of the
Bharatas, this child is the son of thy sister's son. He salutes thee, O
Partha. Look at him, O foremost of men.' Thus addressed by her, Partha
enquired after his son (Suratha), saying--'Where is he?' Dussala then
answered him, saying,--'Burning with grief on account of the slaughter of
his sire, the heroic father of this child died in great affliction of
heart. Listen to me how he met with his death. 'O Dhananjaya, he had
heard before that his sire Jayadratha had been slain by thee, O sinless
one. Exceedingly afflicted with grief at this, and hearing of thy arrival
here as the follower and protector of the sacrificial horse, he at once
fell down and gave up his life-breaths. Verily, deeply afflicted with
grief as he was, as go on as he heard of thy arrival he gave up his life.
Seeing him prostrate on the Earth, O lord, I took his infant son with me
and have come to thee, desirous of thy protection.' Having said these
words, the daughter of Dhritarashtra began to lament in deep affliction.
Arjuna stood before her in great cheerlessness of heart. His face was
turned towards the Earth. The cheerless sister then said unto her
brother, who was equally cheerless, these words: 'Behold thy sister.
Behold the child of thy sister's son. O perpetuator of Kuru's race, O
thou that art fully conversant with every duty, it behoveth thee to show
mercy to this child, forgetting the Kuru prince (Duryodhana) and the
wicked Jayadratha. Even as that slayer of hostile heroes, Parikshit, has
been born of Abhimanyu, so has this mighty-armed child, my grandson,
sprung from Suratha. Taking him with me, O chief of men, I have come to
thee, desirous of the safety of all the warriors. Do thou listen to these
words of mine. This child of that wicked foe of thine hath now come to
thee, O mighty-armed hero. It behoveth thee, therefore to show mercy to
this infant. O chastiser of foes, this infant seeks to gratify thee by
bending his head. He solicits thee for peace. O mighty-armed hero, be
inclined to make peace. O thou that art conversant with every duty, be
thou gratified with the child whose friends and kinsmen have all been
slain and who himself knows nothing of what has happened. Do not yield to
wrath. Forgetting his disreputable and cruel grandfather, who offended
against thee so highly, it behoveth thee to show thy grace towards this
child.' Recollecting queen Gandhari and king Dhritarashtra, Dhananjaya,
afflicted with grief, addressed Dussala who had said so unto him, and
answered her, censuring Kshatriya practices the while. 'Fie on
Duryodhana, that mean wight, covetous of kingdom and full of vanity!
Alas, it was for him that all my kinsmen have been despatched by me to
the abode of Yama.' Having said so, Dhananjaya comforted his sister and
became inclined to make peace. Cheerfully he embraced her and then
dismissed her, telling her to return to her palace. Dussala bade all her
warriors desist from that great battle, and worshipping Partha, she of
beautiful face retraced her steps towards her abode. Having vanquished
those heroes, viz., the Saindhavas, thus, Dhananjaya began to follow that
steed which roved at its will. The heroic Arjuna duly followed that
sacrificial horse even as the divine wielder of Pinaka had in days of
yore followed the deer through the firmament.[193] The steed, at its
will, wandered through various realms one after another, enhancing the
feats of Arjuna. In course of time, O chief of men, the horse wandering
at its pleasure, at last arrived within the dominions of the ruler of
Manipura, followed by the son of Pandu.'"



SECTION LXXIX

"Vaisampayana said, 'The ruler of Manipura, Vabhruvahana, hearing that
his sire Arjuna had arrived within his dominions, went out with humility,
with a number of Brahmanas and some treasure in his van.[194]
Remembering, however, the duties of Kshatriyas, Dhananjaya of great
intelligence, seeing the ruler of Manipura arrive in that guise, did not
approve of it. The righteous-souled Phalguna angrily said, 'This conduct
of thine is not becoming. Thou hast certainly fallen away from Kshatriya
duties. I have come here as the protector of Yudhishthira's sacrificial
horse. Why, O son, wilt thou not fight me, seeing that I have come within
thy dominions? Fie on thee, O thou of foolish understanding, fie on thee
that hast fallen away from Kshatriya duties! Fie on thee that would
receive me peacefully, even though I have come here for battling with
thee. In thus receiving me peacefully thou actest like a woman. O thou of
wretched understanding, if I had come to thee, leaving aside my arms,
then would this behaviour of thine have been fit, O worst of men.'
Learning that these words were addressed by her husband, the daughter of
the Snake-king, viz., Ulupi unable to tolerate it, pierced through the
Earth and came up to that spot.[195] She beheld her son standing there
perfectly cheerless and with face hanging down. Indeed, the prince was
repeatedly rebuked by his sire who was desirous of battle with him, O
monarch. The daughter of the snake, with every limb possessed of beauty,
viz., Ulupi, said these words consistent with righteousness and duty unto
the prince who was conversant with righteousness and duty,--'Know that I
am thy mother Ulupi that am the daughter of a snake. Do thou accomplish
my behest, O son, for thou wouldst then attain to great merit. Fight thy
father, this foremost one of Kuru's race, this hero that is irresistible
in battle. Without doubt, he will then be gratified with thee.' In this
way was king Vabhruvahana incited against his sire by his (step) mother.
At last, endued as he was with great energy, he made up his mind, O chief
of the Bharata's, to fight Dhananjaya. Putting on his armour of bright
gold and his effulgent head-gear, he ascended an excellent car which had
hundreds of quivers ready on it. That car was equipt with necessaries for
battle and had steeds yoked to it that were endued with the speed of the
mind. It had excellent wheels and a strong Upashkara, and was adorned
with golden ornaments of every kind. Raising his standard which was
decorated most beautifully and which bore the device of a lion in gold,
the handsome prince Vabhruvahana proceeded against his sire for battle.
Coining upon the sacrificial steed which was protected by Partha, the
heroic prince caused it to be seized by persons well-versed in
horse-lore. Beholding the steed seized, Dhananjaya became filled with
joy. Standing on the Earth, that hero began to resist the advance of his
son who was on his car. The king afflicted the hero with repeated showers
of shafts endued with whetted points and resembling snakes of virulent
poison. The battle that took, place between sire and son was
incomparable. It resembled the encounter between the deities and the
Asuras of old. Each was gratified with obtaining the other for an
antagonist. Then Vabhruvahana, laughing, pierced the diadem-decked
Arjuna, that foremost of men, in the shoulder with a straight shaft.
Equipt with feathers, that shaft penetrated Arjuna's body like a snake
penetrating on an anthill. Piercing the son of Kunti through, the shaft
went deep into the Earth. Feeling acute pain, the intelligent Dhananjaya
rested awhile, supporting himself on his excellent bow. He stood, having
recourse to his celestial energy and seemed to outward appearance like
one deprived of life. That foremost of men, then regaining consciousness,
praised his son highly. Possessed of great splendour, the son of Sakra
said, 'Excellent, Excellent, O mighty-armed one, O son of Chitrangada! O
son, beholding this feat, so worthy of thee, I am highly gratified with
thee. I shall now shoot these arrows at thee, O son. Stand for fight
(without running away).' Having said these words, that slayer of foes
shot a shower of arrows on the prince. King Vabhruvahana, however, with
his own broad-headed shafts, cut all those arrows which were shot from
Gandiva and which resembled the thunder-bolt of Indra in splendour, some
in twain and some into three parts. Then the standard, decked with gold
and resembling a golden palmyra, on the king's car was cut off by Partha
with some excellent shafts of his. The son of Pandu, laughing, next slew
the king's steeds endued with large size and great speed. Descending from
his car, the king inflamed with rage, fought his sire on foot. Gratified
with the prowess of his son, that foremost one of the sons of Pritha,
viz., the son of the wielder of the thunder-bolt, began to afflict him
greatly. The mighty Vabhruvahana, thinking that his father was no longer
able to face him, again afflicted him with many shafts resembling snakes
of virulent poison. From a spirit of boyishness he then vigorously
pierced his father in the breast with a whetted shaft equipt with
excellent wings. That shaft, O king, penetrated the body of Pandu's son
and reaching his very vital caused him great pain. The delighter of the
Kurus, Dhananjaya, deeply pierced therewith by his son, then fell down in
a swoon on the Earth, O king. When that hero, that bearer of the burthens
of the Kuru's fell down, the son of Chitrangada also became deprived of
his senses. The latter's swoon was due to his exertions in battle as also
to his grief at seeing his sire slain. He had been pierced deeply by
Arjuna with clouds of arrows. He, therefore, fell down at the van of
battle embracing the Earth. Rearing that her husband had been slain and
that her son had fallen down on the Earth, Chitrangada, in great
agitation of mind, repaired to the field of battle. Her heart burning
with sorrow, weeping piteously the while, and trembling all over, the
mother of the ruler of Manipura saw her slain husband."'

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A Stephen King fan has published an 80-page version of the book which novelist Jack Torrance obsessively writes during King's The Shining, where his descent into madness is revealed when his wife discovers that his work consists of just one phrase, endlessly repeated.

Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson in terrifying form in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, is a frustrated writer who goes with his wife and son to spend the winter in the isolated Overlook Hotel in an attempt to get the novel he has always wanted to write started. But the hotel's grisly past and unquiet ghosts have their way with him, and his wife Wendy eventually finds that the manuscript he has been working on actually only contains the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", typed over and over again.

Now New York artist Phil Buehler, who describes himself as "a big fan of Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King", has self-published a book credited to Torrance, repeating the phrase throughout but formatting each page differently, using the words to create different shapes from zigzags to spirals.

"The idea has probably been marinating for years, because I loved the movie and the Stephen King book," said Buehler. "I'd just finished my own obsessive art project [and] it was an idea I had over the Christmas holidays."

He said he decided to stick to type and formatting that could have been created on a typewriter, with the first ten pages duplicating shots of Torrance's work from the film. "I thought 'if he continues to get crazier, what would those pages look like?'" he said. "I hit writer's block about 60 pages in, and I had to get to 80 - that went on for about a week." His fiancée, who had neither read the book nor seen the film, became a little concerned about his actions. "I finally showed her the movie, and she realised I wasn't really losing it," said Buehler.

He's included a spoof review from the blog OverThinkingIt.com on the book's back jacket, which compares it to "the best of Beckett" in its "lack of forward momentum", and considers the struggles of the author, "heroically pitting himself against the Sisyphusean sentence". "It's that metatextual struggle of Man vs. Typewriter that gives this book its spellbinding power," the review says. "Some will dismiss it as simplistic; that's like dismissing a Pollack canvas as mere splatters of paint."

So far, Buehler says that around 1,000 people have viewed the book, for sale on Blurb.com for $8.95 in paperback, or $22.95 in hardback, and he's sold "a few" copies, with sales now starting to pick up steam. "A few people have asked me to sign it - they're looking it as a piece of art rather than a funny thing to give to a Kubrick fan," he said. "If you're not a Kubrick or King fan, you might not even get it."

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