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The Mahabharata of Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa, Volume 4 by or: Kisari Mohan Ganguli

O >> or: Kisari Mohan Ganguli >> The Mahabharata of Krishna Dwaipayana Vyasa, Volume 4






SECTION IV

"Yudhishthira said, 'O righteous one, I am desirous of hearing the
history of that royal sage Marutta. Do thou, O Dwaipayana, relate this
unto me, O sinless one.'

"Vyasa said, 'O child, in the Krita age Manu was lord (of the Earth)
wielding the sceptre. His son was known under the name of Prasandhi.
Prasandhi had a son named Kshupa, Kshupa's son was that lord (of men),
king Ikshwaku. He, O king, had a hundred sons endowed with pre-eminent
piety. And all of them were made monarchs by king Ikshwaku. The eldest of
them, Vinsa by name became the model of bowmen. Vinsa's son, O Bharata,
was the auspicious Vivinsa. Vivinsa, O king, had five and ten sons; all
of them were powerful archers, reverencial to the Brahmanas and truthful,
gentle and ever speaking fair. The eldest brother, Khaninetra, oppressed
all his brothers. And having conquered the entire kingdom rid of all
troubles, Khaninetra could not retain his supremacy; nor were the people
pleased with him. And dethroning him, they, O foremost of monarchs,
invested his son Suvarcha with the rights of sovereignty and (having
effected this) experienced joy (in their hearts). Seeing the reverses
sustained by his site as well as his expulsion from the empire, he was
ever intent on bringing about the welfare of the people, being devoted to
the Brahmanas, speaking the truth, practising purity and restraining his
senses and thoughts. And the subjects were well pleased with that
high-minded one constant in virtue. But he being constantly engaged in
virtuous deeds, his treasures and vehicles became greatly reduced. And on
his treasury having become depleted, the feudatory princes swarming round
him began to give him trouble. Being thus oppressed by many foes while
his treasury, horses and vehicles were impoverished, the king underwent
great tribulation along with his retainers and the denizens of his
capital. Although his power waned greatly, yet the foes could not slay
the king, for his power, O Yudhishthira, was established in
righteousness. And when he had reached the extreme of misery along with
the citizens, he blew his hand (with his mouth), and from that there
appeared a supply of forces. And then he vanquished all the kings living
along the borders of his dominions. And from this circumstance O king, he
hath been celebrated as Karandhama. His son, (the first) Karandhama who
was born at the beginning of the Treta age, equalled Indra himself and
was endowed with grace, and invincible even by the immortals. At that
time all the kings were under his control; and alike by virtue of his
wealth and for his prowess, he became their emperor. In short, the
righteous king Avikshit by name, became like unto Indra himself in
heroism; and he was given to sacrifices, delight took in virtue and held
his senses under restraint. And in energy he resembled the sun and in
forbearance Earth herself; in intelligence, he was like Vrihaspati, and
in calmness the mountain Himavat himself. And that king delighted the
hearts of his subjects by act, thought, speech, self-restraint, and
forbearance. He performed hundreds of horse-sacrifices, and the potent
and learned Angira himself served him as priest. His son surpassed his
sire in the possession of good qualities. Named Marutta, that lord of
kings was righteous and o great renown, an possessed the might of ten
thousand elephants. He was like unto Vishnu's second self. Desirous of
celebrating a sacrifice, that virtuous monarch, coming to Mount Meru on
the northern side of Himavat, caused thousands of shining golden vessels
to be forged. There on a huge golden hill he performed the rites. And
goldsmiths made basins and vessels and pans and seats without number. And
the sacrificial ground was near this place. And that righteous lord of
Earth, king Marutta, along with other princes, performed a sacrifice
there.'"



SECTION V

"Yudhishthira said, 'O best of speakers, how that king became so
powerful? And how, O twice-born one, did he obtain so much gold? And
where now, O reverend sire, is all his wealth? And, O ascetic, how can we
secure the same?'

"Vyasa thereupon said,--'As the numerous offspring of the Prajapati
Daksha, the Asuras and the Celestials challenged each other (to
encounter), so in the same way Angira's sons, the exceedingly energetic
Vrihaspati and the ascetic, Samvarta, of equal vows, challenged each
other, O king. Vrihaspati began to worry Samvarta again and again. And
constantly troubled by his elder brother, he, O Bharata, renouncing his
riches, went to the woods, with nothing to coyer his body save the open
sky.[4] (At that time), Vasava having vanquished and destroyed the
Asuras, and obtained the sovereignty of the celestial regions had
appointed as his priest Angira's eldest son, that best of Brahmanas,
Vrihaspati. Formerly Angira was the family-priest of king Karandhama.
Matchless among men in might, prowess and character; powerful like unto
Satakratu, righteous souled and of rigid vows, O king, he had vehicles,
and warrior, and many adherents, and superb and costly bedsteads,
produced through dint of meditation by the breath of his mouth. And by
his native virtues, the monarch had brought all the princes under his
sway. And having lived as long as he desired, he ascended to the heaven
in his corporal embodiment. And his son named Avikshit--conqueror of
foes,--righteous like unto Yayati, brought all the Earth under his
dominion. And both in merit and might the king resembled his sire. He had
a son named Marutta, endowed with energy, and resembling Vasava himself.
This earth clad in oceans; felt herself drawn towards him. He always[5]
used to defy the lord of the celestials; and O son of Pandu, Vasava also
defied Marutta. And Marutta,--master of Earth--was pure and possessed of
perfections. And in spite of his striving, Sakra could not prevail over
him. And incapable of controlling him, he riding on the horse, along with
the celestials summoning Vrihaspati, spoke to him thus, 'O Vrihaspati, if
thou wishest to do what is agreeable to me, do not perform priestly
offices for Marutta on behalf of the deities or the ancestral Manes. I
have, O Vrihaspati, obtained the sovereignty of the three worlds, while
Marutta is merely the lord of the Earth. How, O Brahmana, having acted as
priest unto the immortal king of the celestials, wilt thou unhesitatingly
perform priestly function unto Marutta subject to death? Good betide
thee! Either espouse my side or that of the monarch, Marutta or forsaking
Marutta, gladly come over to me.--Thus accosted by the sovereign of the
celestials, Vrihaspati, reflecting for a moment, replied unto the king of
the immortals. Thou art the Lord of creatures, and in thee are the worlds
established, And thou hast destroyed Namuchi, Viswarupa and Vala. Thou, O
hero, alone encompassest the highest prosperity of the celestials, and, O
slayer of Vala, thou sustainest the earth as well as the heaven. How, O
foremost of the celestials, having officiated as thy priest, shall I, O
chastiser of Paka, serve a mortal prince. Do thou listen to what I say.
Even if the god of fire cease to cause heat and warmth, or the earth
change its nature, or the sun ceases to give light, I shall never deviate
from the truth (that I have spoken).

Vaisampayana continued,--'On hearing this speech from Vrihaspati Indra
became cured of his envious feelings, and then praising him he repaired
to his own mansion.'



SECTION VI

"Vyasa said, 'The ancient legend of Vrihaspati and the wise Marutta is
cited in this connection. On hearing of the compact made by Angira's son
Vrihaspati with the lord of the gods (Indra), king Marutta made the
necessary preparations for a great sacrifice. The eloquent grandson of
Karandhama, (Marutta) having conceived the idea of a sacrifice in his
mind, went to Vrihaspati and addressed him thus, 'O worshipful ascetic, I
have intended to perform the sacrifice which thou didst propose to me
once on a previous occasion and in accordance with thy instructions, and
I now desire to appoint thee as officiating priest in this sacrifice, the
materials whereof have also been collected by me.--O excellent one, thou
art our family priest, therefore do thou take those sacrificial things
and perform the sacrifice thyself.'

Vrihaspati said, 'O lord of the earth, I do not desire to perform thy
sacrifice. I have been appointed as priest by the Lord of the gods
(Indra) and I have promised to him to act as such.'

Marutta said, 'Thou art our hereditary family priest, and for this reason
I entertain great regard for thee, and I have acquired the right of being
assisted at sacrifices by thee, and therefore it is meet that thou
shouldst officiate as priest at my sacrifice.'

Vrihaspati said, 'Having, O Marutta, acted as priest to the Immortals,
how can I act as such to mortal men, and whether thou dost depart hence
or stay, I tell thee, I have ceased to act as priest to any but the
Immortals. O thou of mighty arms, I am unable to act as thy priest now.
And according to thy own desire, thou canst appoint any one as thy priest
who will perform thy sacrifice.'

Vyasa said, 'Thus told, king Marutta became confused with shame, and
while returning home with his mind oppressed by anxiety, he met Narada on
his way. And that monarch on seeing the divine Rishi Narada stood before
him with due salutation, with his hands clasped together. Then Narada
addressing him thus said,--O royal sage, thou seemest to be not
well-pleased in thy mind; is all well with thee? Where hast thou been, O
sinless one, and whence the cause of this thy mental disquietude? And, O
king, if there be no objection to thy telling it to me, do thou, O best
of kings, disclose (the cause of thy anxiety) to me, so that, O prince, I
may allay the disquietude of thy mind with all my efforts.'

Vaisampayana continued, 'Thus addressed by the great Rishi Narada, king
Marutta informed him of the rebuff he had received from his religious
preceptor.'

Marutta said, 'Seeking for a priest to officiate at my sacrifice, I went
to that priest of the Immortals, Vrihaspati, the son of Angira, but he
did not choose to accept my offer. Having met with this rebuff from him,
I have no desire to live any longer now, for by his abandoning me thus, I
have, O Narada, become contaminated with sin.'

Vyasa said, 'Thus told by that king, Narada, O mighty prince, made this
reply to him with words which seemed to revive that son of Avikshit.'

Narada said, 'The virtuous son of Angira, Samvarta by name is wandering
over all the quarters of the earth in a naked state to the wonder of all
creatures; do thou, O prince, go to him. If Vrihaspati does not desire to
officiate at thy sacrifice, the powerful Samvarta, if pleased with thee,
will perform thy sacrifice.'

Marutta said, 'I feel as if instilled with new life, by these thy words,
O Narada, but O the best of speakers, do thou tell me where I can find
Samvarta, and how I can remain by his side, and how I am to act so that
he may not abandon me, for I do not desire to live if I meet with a
rebuff from him also.'

Narada said, 'Desirous of seeing Maheswara, O prince, he wanders about at
his pleasure in the city of Varanasi, in the garb of a mad man. And
having reached the gate of that city, thou must place a dead body
somewhere near it, and the man who shall turn away on seeing the corpse,
do thou, O prince, know that man to be Samvarta, and knowing him, do thou
follow his footsteps wheresoever that powerful man chooses to go and
finding him (at length) in a lonely place thou must seek his protection
with thy hands clasped together in supplication to him. And if he
enquires of thee as to the person who has given thee the information
about his own self, do thou tell him that Narada has informed thee about
Samvarta. And if he should ask thee to follow me, thou must tell him
without any hesitation, that I have entered into the fire.'

Vyasa said, 'Having signified his assent to the proposal of Narada, that
royal sage after duly worshipping him, and taking his permission,
repaired to the city of Varanasi, and having reached there, that famous
prince did as he had been told, and remembering the words of Narada, he
placed a corpse at the gate of the city. And by coincidence, that
Brahmana also entered the gate of the city at the same time. Then on
beholding the corpse, he suddenly turned away. And on seeing him turn
back, that prince, the son of Avikshit followed his footsteps with his
hands clasped together, and with the object of receiving instruction from
him. And then finding him in a lonely place, Samvarta covered the king
with mud and ashes and phlegm and spittle. And though thus worried and
oppressed by Samvarta, the king followed that sage with his hands clasped
together in supplication and trying to appease him. At length overcome
with fatigue, and reaching the cool shade of a sacred fig tree with many
branches, Samvarta desisted from his course and sat himself to rest.'



SECTION VII

"Samvarta said, 'How hast thou come to know me, and who has referred thee
to me, do thou tell this to me truly, if thou wishest me to do what is
good to thee. And if thou speak truly, thou shalt attain all the objects
of thy desire, and shouldst thou tell a lie, thy head shall be riven in a
hundred pieces.'

Marutta said, 'I have been told by Narada, wandering on his way, that
thou art the son of our family-priest, and this (information) has
inclined my mind (towards thee), with exquisite satisfaction.'

Samvarta said, 'Thou hast told this to me truly. He (Narada) knows me to
be a performer of sacrifices. Now tell me where is Narada living at
present.'

Marutta said, 'That prince of celestial saints (Narada) having given me
this information about thee, and commended me to thy care, has entered
into the fire.'

Vyasa said, 'Hearing these words from the king (Marutta) Samvarta was
highly gratified, and he said (addressing Marutta). 'I too am quite able
to do all that.' Then, O prince, that Brahmana, raving like a lunatic,
and repeatedly scolding Marutta with rude words, again accosted him thus,
'I am afflicted with a cerebral disorder, and, I always act according to
the random caprices of my own mind. Why art thou bent upon having this
sacrifice performed by a priest of such a singular disposition? My
brother is able to officiate at sacrifices, and he has gone over to
Vasava (Indra), and is engaged in performing his sacrifices, do thou
therefore have thy sacrifice performed by him. My elder brother has
forcibly taken away from me all my household goods and mystical gods, and
sacrificing clients, and has now left to me only this physical body of
mine, and, O son of Avikshit, as he is worthy of all respect from me, I
cannot by any means officiate at thy sacrifice, unless with his
permission. Thou must therefore go to Vrihaspati first, and taking his
permission thou canst come back to me, if thou hast any desire to perform
a sacrifice, and then only shall I officiate at thy sacrifice.'

Marutta said, 'Do thou listen to me, O Samvarta, I did go to Vrihaspati
first, but desiring the patronage of Vasava, he did not wish to have me
as his sacrificer. He said, 'Having secured the priesthood of the
Immortals, I do not desire to act for mortals, and, I have been forbidden
by Sakra (Indra) to officiate at Marutta's sacrifice, as he told me that
Marutta having become lord of the earth, was always filled with a desire
to rival him.' And to this thy brother assented by saying to the Slayer
of Vala (Indra),--Be it so. Know thou, O best of ascetics, that as he had
succeeded in securing the protection of the Lord of the Celestials, I
repaired to him with gratified heart, but he did not agree to act as my
priest. And thus repulsed, I now desire to spend all I possess, to have
this sacrifice performed by thee, and to outstrip Vasava by the merit of
thy good offices. As I have been repulsed by Vrihaspati for no fault of
mine, I have now no desire, O Brahmana, to go to him to seek his aid in
this sacrifice."

Samvarta said, 'I can certainly, O king, accomplish all that thou
desirest, if only thou agree to do all that I shall ask thee to do, but I
apprehend that Vrihaspati and Purandara (Indra) when they will learn that
I am engaged in performing thy sacrifice, will be filled with wrath, and
do all they can to injure thee. Therefore, do thou assure me of thy
steadfastness, so as to ensure my coolness and constancy, as otherwise.
if I am filled with wrath against thee, I shall reduce (destroy) thee and
thy kindred to ashes."

Marutta said, 'If ever I forsake thee, may I never attain the blessed
regions as long as the mountains shall exist, and the thousand-rayed sun
continue to emit heat: if I forsake dice, may I never attain true wisdom,
and remain for ever addicted to worldly (material) pursuits."

Samvarta said, "Listen, O son of Avikshit, excellent as it is the bent of
thy mind to perform this act, so too, O king, have I in my mind the
ability to perform the sacrifice, I tell thee, O king, that thy good
things will become imperishable, and that thou shalt lord it over Sakra
and the Celestials with Gandharvas. For myself, I have no desire to amass
wealth or sacrificial presents, I shall only do what is disagreeable to
both Indra and my brother, I shall certainly make thee attain equality
with Sakra, and I tell thee truly that I shall do what is agreeable to
thee."



SECTION VIII

"Samvarta said, "There is a peak named Munjaban on the summits of the
Himalaya mountains, where the adorable Lord of Uma (Mahadeva) is
constantly engaged in austere devotional exercises. There the mighty and
worshipful god of great puissance, accompanied by his consort Uma, and
armed with his trident, surrounded by wild goblins of many sorts,
pursuing his random wish or fancy, constantly resides in the shade of
giant forest trees, or in the caves, or on the rugged peaks of the great
mountain. And there the Rudras, the Saddhyas, Viswedevas, the Vasus,
Yama, Varuna, and Kuvera with all his attendants, and the spirits and
goblins, and the two Aswins, the Gandharvas, the Apsaras, the Yakshas, as
also the celestial sages, the Sun-gods, as well as the gods presiding
over the winds, and evil spirits of all sorts, worship the high-souled
lord of Uma, possessed of diverse characteristics. And there, O king, the
adorable god sports with the wild and playful followers of Kuvera,
possessed of weird and ghostly appearances. Glowing with its own
splendour, that mountain looks resplendent as the morning sun. And no
creature with his natural eyes made of flesh, can ever ascertain its
shape or configuration, and neither heat nor cold prevails there, nor
doth the sun shine nor do the winds blow. And, O king, neither doth
senility nor hunger, nor thirst, nor death, nor fear afflict any one at
that place. And, O foremost of conquerors, on all sides of that mountain,
there exist mines of gold, resplendent as the rays of the sun. And O
king, the attendants of Kuvera, desirous of doing good to him, protect
these mines of gold from intruders, with uplifted arms. Hie thee thither,
and appease that adorable god who is known by the names of Sarva, Bedha,
Rudra, Sitikantha, Surapa, Suvarcha, Kapardi, Karala, Haryyaksha, Varada,
Tryaksha, Pushnodantabhid, Vamana, Siva, Yamya, Avyaktarupa, Sadvritta,
Sankara, Kshemya, Harikesa, Sthanu, Purusha, Harinetra, Munda, Krishna,
Uttarana, Bhaskara, Sutirtha, Devadeva, Ranha, Ushnishi, Suvaktra,
Sahasraksha, Midhvan, Girisa, Prasanta, Yata, Chiravasa, Vilwadanda,
Siddha, Sarvadandadhara, Mriga, Vyadha, Mahan, Dhanesa, Bhava, Vara,
Somavaktra, Siddhamantra, Chakshu, Hiranyavahu, Ugra, Dikpati, Lelihana,
Goshtha, Shiddhamantra, Vrishnu, Pasupati, Bhutapati, Vrisha,
Matribhakta, Senani, Madhyama, Sruvahasta, Yati, Dhanwi, Bhargava, Aja,
Krishnanetra, Virupaksha, Tikshnadanshtra, Tikshna, Vaiswanaramukha,
Mahadyuti, Ananga, Sarva, Dikpati, Bilohita, Dipta, Diptaksha, Mahauja,
Vasuretas, Suvapu, Prithu, Kritivasa, Kapalmali, Suvarnamukuta, Mahadeva,
Krishna, Tryamvaka, Anagha, Krodhana, Nrisansa, Mridu, Vahusali, Dandi,
Taptatapa, Akrurakarma, Sahasrasira, Sahasra-charana, Swadha-swarupa,
Vahurupa, Danshtri, Pinaki, Mahadeva, Mahayogi, Avyaya, Trisulahasta,
Varada, Tryamvaka, Bhuvaneswara, Tripuraghna, Trinayana, Trilokesa,
Mahanja, Sarvabhuta-prabhava, Sarvabhuta-dharana, Dharanidhara, Isana,
Sankara, Sarva, Siva, Visveswara, Bhava, Umapati, Pasupati, Viswarupa,
Maheswara, Virupaksha, Dasabhuja, Vrishavadhwaja, Ugra, Sthanu, Siva,
Rudra, Sarva, Girisa, Iswara, Sitakantha, Aja, Sukra, Prithu, Prithuhara,
Vara, Viswarupa, Virupaksha, Vahurupa, Umapati, Anangangahara, Hara,
Saranya, Mahadeva, Chaturmukha. There bowing unto that deity, must thou
crave his protection. And thus, O prince, making thy submission to that
high-souled Mahadeva of great energy, shalt thou acquire that gold. And
the men who go there thus, succeed in obtaining the gold. Thus
instructed, Marutta, the son of Karandhama, did as he was advised. And
made superhuman arrangements for the performance of his sacrifice. And
artisans manufactured vessels of gold for that sacrifice. And Vrihaspati
too, hearing of the prosperity of Marutta, eclipsing that of the gods,
became greatly grieved at heart, and distressed at the thought that his
rival Samvarta should become prosperous, became sick at heart, and the
glow of his complexion left him, and his frame became emaciated. And when
the lord of the gods came to know that Vrihaspati was much aggrieved, he
went to him attended by the Immortals and addressed him thus."



SECTION IX

"Indra said, "Dost thou, O Vrihaspati, sleep in peace, and are thy
servants agreeable to thee, dost thou seek the welfare of the gods, and
do the gods, O Brahmana, protect thee?"

Vrihaspati said, "I do sleep in peace in my bed. O Lord of the gods, and
my servants are to my liking and I always seek the welfare of the gods,
and they cherish me well."

Indra said, "Whence then is this pain, mental or physical, and why art
thou pale and altered in appearance (complexion) at present? Tell me, O
Brahmana, who those people are, who have caused thee pain, so that I may
kill them all."

Vrihaspati said, "O Indra, I have heard that Marutta will perform a great
sacrifice at which exquisite presents will be given by him (to Brahmanas)
and that at his sacrifice Samvarta will act as the officiating priest,
and therefore do I desire that he may not officiate as priest at that
sacrifice."

Indra said, "Thou, O Brahmana, hast attained all the object of thy desire
when thou hast become the excellent priest of the gods, versed in all the
sacred hymns, and hast overreached the influence of death and dotage,
what can Samvarta do to thee now?"

Vrihaspati said, "Prosperity of a rival is always painful to one's
feelings, and for this reason too, thou dost with try attendant gods
persecute the Asuras with their with and kin, and kill the most
prosperous among them; hence, O Lord of the gods, am I changed in
appearance at the thought that my rival is prospering, therefore, O
Indra, do thou, by all means, restrain Samvarta and king Marutta."

Indra turning to Agni said, "Do thou, O Jataveda, following my direction,
go to king Marutta to present Vrihaspati to him, and say unto him that
this Vrihaspati will officiate at his sacrifice and make him immortal."

Agni said, "I shall presently, O adorable one, repair thither as thy
messenger, to present Vrihaspati to king Marutta; and to make Indra's
words true, and to show respect to Vrihaspati, Agni departed."

Vyasa said, "Then the high-souled fire-god went on his errand,
devastating all the forests and trees, like unto the mighty wind, roaring
and revolving at random at the end of the winter season."

Marutta said, "Behold! I find the fire-god come in his own embodiment,
this day, therefore do thou, O Muni, offer him a seat and water, and a
cow, and water for washing the feet."

Agni said, "I accept thy offerings of water, seat, and water for washing
the feet, O sinless one, do thou know me as the messenger of Indra, come
to thee, in accordance with his directions."

Marutta said, "O Fire-god, is the glorious Lord of the Celestials happy,
and is he pleased with us, and are the other gods loyal to him? Do thou
enlighten me duly on all these points."

Agni said, "O lord of the earth, Sakra is perfectly happy, he is pleased
with thee, and wishes to make thee free from senility, and all the other
gods are loyal to him. Do thou, O king, listen to the message of the Lord
of the Celestials. And the object for which he has sent me to thee is to
present Vrihaspati to Marutta. O prince, let this priest (of the
Celestials) perform thy sacrifice, and make thee, who art only a mortal,
attain immortality."

Marutta said, "This twice-born Brahmana Samvarta will perform my
sacrifice, and I pray to Vrihaspati, that he having acted as priest to
Mahendra (Indra), it does not look well for him now to act as priest to
mortal men."

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A Stephen King fan has published an 80-page version of the book which novelist Jack Torrance obsessively writes during King's The Shining, where his descent into madness is revealed when his wife discovers that his work consists of just one phrase, endlessly repeated.

Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson in terrifying form in Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film, is a frustrated writer who goes with his wife and son to spend the winter in the isolated Overlook Hotel in an attempt to get the novel he has always wanted to write started. But the hotel's grisly past and unquiet ghosts have their way with him, and his wife Wendy eventually finds that the manuscript he has been working on actually only contains the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", typed over and over again.

Now New York artist Phil Buehler, who describes himself as "a big fan of Stanley Kubrick and Stephen King", has self-published a book credited to Torrance, repeating the phrase throughout but formatting each page differently, using the words to create different shapes from zigzags to spirals.

"The idea has probably been marinating for years, because I loved the movie and the Stephen King book," said Buehler. "I'd just finished my own obsessive art project [and] it was an idea I had over the Christmas holidays."

He said he decided to stick to type and formatting that could have been created on a typewriter, with the first ten pages duplicating shots of Torrance's work from the film. "I thought 'if he continues to get crazier, what would those pages look like?'" he said. "I hit writer's block about 60 pages in, and I had to get to 80 - that went on for about a week." His fiancée, who had neither read the book nor seen the film, became a little concerned about his actions. "I finally showed her the movie, and she realised I wasn't really losing it," said Buehler.

He's included a spoof review from the blog OverThinkingIt.com on the book's back jacket, which compares it to "the best of Beckett" in its "lack of forward momentum", and considers the struggles of the author, "heroically pitting himself against the Sisyphusean sentence". "It's that metatextual struggle of Man vs. Typewriter that gives this book its spellbinding power," the review says. "Some will dismiss it as simplistic; that's like dismissing a Pollack canvas as mere splatters of paint."

So far, Buehler says that around 1,000 people have viewed the book, for sale on Blurb.com for $8.95 in paperback, or $22.95 in hardback, and he's sold "a few" copies, with sales now starting to pick up steam. "A few people have asked me to sign it - they're looking it as a piece of art rather than a funny thing to give to a Kubrick fan," he said. "If you're not a Kubrick or King fan, you might not even get it."

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