Narrative of the Life of J.D. Green, a Runaway Slave, from Kentucky by Jacob D. Green
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Jacob D. Green >> Narrative of the Life of J.D. Green, a Runaway Slave, from Kentucky
NARRATIVE
OF
THE LIFE
OF
J.D. GREEN,
A RUNAWAY SLAVE,
FROM KENTUCKY,
CONTAINING AN
ACCOUNT OF HIS THREE ESCAPES,
In 1839, 1846, and 1848.
EIGHTH THOUSAND.
HUDDERSFIELD:
PRINTED BY HENRY FIELDING, PACK HORSE YARD.
1864
[_Transcriber's Note: This project was transcribed from a contemporary
printing of the work, not from the 1864 edition. Certain spellings may
have been modernized and typographic and printer's errors changed from the
original._]
TESTIMONIALS.
Jacob Green, a coloured man and an escaped slave, has lectured in my
hearing, on American Slavery, in Springfield School-room, and I was much
pleased with the propriety with which he was able to express himself, and
with the capabilities which he seemed to possess to interest an audience.
GILBERT Mc.CALLUM.
Minister of Springfield
Independent Chapel, Dewsbury.
Sept 2, 1863.
* * * * *
Hopton House, Sept. 10, 1863.
I have much pleasure in bearing my testimony in favour of Mr. Jacob Green,
as a lecturer on the subject of American Slavery, having been present when
he gave an able and efficient lecture here about a month ago. Having
himself witnessed and experienced the fearful effects of that accursed
"institution," he is well fitted to describe its horrors, and I have no
doubt that amongst certain classes, his labours in the anti-slavery cause
may be more telling and efficient than those of more highly educated
lecturers who do not profess his peculiar advantages. I shall be well
pleased to hear of him being employed by any anti-slavery society.
JAMES CAMERON,
Minister of Hopton Chapel.
* * * * *
Eccleshill, Sept. 11, 1863.
Mr. Jacob Green gave a lecture on Slavery, in our School-room here, about
two months ago, which I considered a very able one; and it was so
considered by my people.
JOHN ASTON.
* * * * *
I certify that Mr. Jacob Green has delivered two lectures in the
Foresters' Hall, Denholm, to a very numerous audience; and on each
occasion has given great satisfaction. The subjects were,
first--Slavery,--second, the American War. He lectures remarkably well,
and has a powerful voice; and I have not the least doubt would give
satisfaction in lecturing elsewhere. The chair on each occasion was
taken--first, by myself as incumbent--second, by the Rev. T. Roberts,
Independent Minister.
J.F.N. EYRE.
Incumbent of Denholm.
Oct. 18th, 1863.
* * * * *
I can thoroughly endorse the sentiments of the Rev. J.F.N. Eyre, herein
recorded.
T. ROBERTS.
* * * * *
Mr. J.D. Green has lectured four times in our Schoolrooms, and each time
he has given very great satisfaction to a large assembly. From what I have
seen of him, I believe him to be worthy of public sympathy and support.
WILLIAM INMAN, Minister.
Ovenden, Nov. 14, 1863.
NARRATIVE, &c.
My father and mother were owned by Judge Charles Earle, of Queen Anne's
County, Maryland, and I was born on the 24th of August, 1813.
From eight to eleven years of age I was employed as an errand boy,
carrying water principally for domestic purposes, for 113 slaves and the
family. As I grew older, in the mornings I was employed looking after the
cows, and waiting in the house, and at twelve years I remember being in
great danger of losing my life in a singular way. I had seen the relish
with which master and friends took drink from a bottle, and seeing a
similar bottle in the closet, I thought what was good for them would be
good for me, and I laid hold of the bottle and took a good draught of (Oh,
horror of horrors) oxalic acid, and the doctor said my safety was
occasioned by a habit I had of putting my head in the milk pail and
drinking milk, as by doing so the milk caused me to vomit and saved my
life. About this time my mother was sold to a trader named Woodfork, and
where she was conveyed I have not heard up to the present time. This
circumstance caused serious reflections in my mind, as to the situation of
slaves, and caused me to contrast the condition of a white boy with mine,
which the following occurrence will more vividly pourtray. One morning
after my mother was sold, a white boy was stealing corn out of my master's
barn, and I said for this act we black boys will be whipped until one of
us confesses to have done that we are all innocent of, as such is the case
in every instance; and I thought, Oh, that master was here, or the
overseer, I would then let them see what becomes of the corn. But, I saw
he was off with the corn to the extent of half a bushel, and I will say
nothing about it until they miss it, and if I tell them they wont believe
me if he denies it, because he is white and I am black. Oh! how dreadful
it is to be black! Why was I born black? It would have been better had I
not been born at all. Only yesterday, my mother was sold to go to, not one
of us knows were, and I am left alone, and I have no hope of seeing her
again. At this moment a raven alighted on a tree over my head, and I
cried, "Oh, Raven! if I had wings like you, I would soon find my mother
and be happy again." Before parting she advised me to be a good boy, and
she would pray for me, and I must pray for her, and hoped we might meet
again in heaven, and I at once commenced to pray, to the best of my
knowledge, "Our Father art in Heaven, be Thy name, kingdom come.--Amen."
But, at this time, words of my master obtruded into my mind that God did
not care for black folks, as he did not make them, but the d---l did. Then
I thought of the old saying amongst us, as stated by our master, that,
when God was making man, He made white man out of the best clay, as
potters make china, and the d---l was watching, and he immediately took up
some black mud and made a black man, and called him a nigger. My master
was continually impressing upon me the necessity of being a good boy, and
used to say, that if I was good, and behaved as well to him as my mother
had done, I should go to Heaven without a question being asked. My mother
having often said the same, I determined from that day to be a good boy,
and constantly frequented the Meeting-house attended by the blacks where I
learned from the minister, Mr. Cobb, how much the Lord had done for the
blacks and for their salvation; and he was in the habit of reminding us
what advantages he had given us for our benefit, for when we were in our
native country, Africa, we were destitute of Bible light, worshipping
idols of sticks and stones, and barbarously murdering one another, God put
it into the hearts of these good slaveholders to venture across the bosom
of the hazardous Atlantic to Africa, and snatch us poor negroes as brands
from the eternal burning, and bring us where we might sit under the
droppings of his sanctuary, and learn the ways of industry and the way to
God. "Oh, niggers! how happy are your eyes which see this heavenly light;
many millions of niggers desired it long, but died without the sight. I
frequently envy your situations, because God's special blessing seems to
be ever over you, as though you were a select people, for how much happier
is your position than that of a free man, who, if sick, must pay his
doctor's bill; if hungry, must supply his wants by his own exertions; if
thirsty, must refresh himself by his own aid. And yet you, oh, niggers!
your master has all this care for you. He supplies your daily wants; your
meat and your drink he provides; and when you are sick he finds the best
skill to bring you to health as soon as possible, for your sickness is his
loss, and your health his gain; and, above all when you die (if you are
obedient to your masters, and good niggers), your black faces will shine
like black jugs around the throne of God." Such was the religious
instruction I was in the habit of receiving until I was about seventeen
years old; and told that when at any time I happened to be offended, or
struck by a white boy I was not to offend or strike in return, unless it
was another black, then I might fight as hard as I chose in my own
defence. It happened about this time there was a white boy who was
continually stealing my tops and marbles, and one morning when doing so I
caught him, and we had a battle, and I had him down on the ground when Mr.
Burmey came up. He kicked me away from the white boy, saying if I belonged
to him he would cut off my hands for _daring_ to strike a white boy; this
without asking the cause of the quarrel, or of ascertaining who was to
blame. The kick was so severe that I was sometime before I forgot it, and
created such a feeling of revenge in my bosom that I was determined when I
became a man I would pay him back in his own coin. I went out one day, and
measured myself by a tree in the wood, and cut a notch in the tree to
ascertain how fast I grew. I went at different times for the space of two
months and found I was no taller, and I began to fear he would die before
I should have grown to man's estate, and I resolved if he did I would make
his children suffer by punishing them instead of their father. At this
time my master's wife had two lovers, this same Burmey and one Rogers, and
they despised each other from feelings of jealousy. Master's wife seemed
to favour Burmey most, who was a great smoker, and she provided him with a
large pipe with a German silver bowl, which screwed on the top; this pipe
she usually kept on the mantel piece, ready filled with tobacco. One
morning I was dusting and sweeping out the dining-room, and saw the pipe
on the mantel-piece. I took it down, and went to my young master William's
powder closet and took out his powder horn, and after taking half of the
tobacco out of the pipe filled it nearly full with powder, and covered it
over with tobacco to make it appear as usual when filled with tobacco,
replaced it, and left. Rogers, came in about eight o'clock in the morning,
and remained until eleven, when Mr. Burmey came, and in about an hour I
saw a great number running about from all parts of the plantation. I left
the barn where I was thrashing buck-wheat, and followed the rest to the
house, where I saw Mr. Burmey lying back in the arm chair in a state of
insensibility, his mouth bleeding profusely and from particulars given it
appeared he took the pipe as usual and lighted it, and had just got it to
his mouth when the powder exploded, and the party suspected was Rogers,
who had been there immediately preceding; and Burmey's son went to Rogers
and they fought about the matter. Law ensued, which cost Rogers 800
dollars, Burmey 600 dollars and his face disfigured; and my master's wife
came in for a deal of scandal, which caused further proceedings at law,
costing the master 1400 hundred dollars, and I was never once suspected or
charged with the deed.
At this time two or three negroes had escaped, and I heard so much about
the free States of the north that I was determined to be free. So I began
to study what we call the north star, or astronomy, to guide me to the
free States. I was in the habit of driving the master; and on one occasion
I had to drive him to Baltimore where two of his sons were studying law;
and while there, I stole some sweet potatoes to roast when I got home; and
how master got to know I had them I never knew; but when I got home he
gave me a note to Mr. Cobb, the overseer, and told me to tell Dick,
(another slave on the plantation) to come to Baltimore to him on the
following evening, and as soon as I took the note in my hand I was certain
there was a flogging in it for me, though he said nothing to me. I held
the note that night and following day, afraid to give it to Mr. Cobb, so
confident was I of what would be the result. Towards evening I began to
reason thus--If I give Cobb the note I shall be whipped; if I withhold the
note from him I shall be whipped, so a whipping appears plain in either
case. Now Dick having arranged to meet his sweetheart this night assumed
sickness, so that he could have an excuse for not meeting master at
Baltimore, and he wanted me to go instead of him. I agreed to go,
providing he would take the note I had to Mr. Cobb, as I had forgot to
give it him, to which he consented, and off I went; and I heard that when
he delivered the note to Mr. Cobb, he ordered him to go to the
whipping-post, and when he asked what he had done he was knocked down, and
afterwards put to the post and thirty-nine lashes were administered, and
failed seeing his sweetheart as well. When I arrived at Baltimore my
master and young master took their seats and I drove away without any
question until we had gone three miles, when he asked what I was doing
there that night. I very politely said Dick was not well, and I had come
in his place. He then asked me if Mr. Cobb got his note, I answered, yes,
sir. He then asked me how I felt, and I said first rate, sir. "The d---l
you do," said he. I said, yes sir. He said "nigger, did Mr. Cobb flog
you?" No sir. I have done nothing wrong. "You never do," he answered; and
said no more until he got home. Being a man who could not bear to have any
order of his disobeyed or unfulfilled, he immediately called for Mr. Cobb,
and was told he was in bed; and when he appeared, the master asked if he
got the note sent by the nigger. Mr. Cobb said "Yes." "Then why," said
master, "did you not perform my orders in the note?" "I did, sir," replied
Cobb; when the master said, "I told you to give that nigger thirty-nine
lashes," Mr. Cobb says, "So I did, sir;" when master replied, "He says you
never licked him at all." Upon which Cobb said, "He is a liar;" when my
master called for me (who had been hearing the whole dialogue at the
door), I turned on my toes and went a short distance, and I shouted with a
loud voice that I was coming, (to prevent them knowing that I had been
listening) and appeared before them and said "here I am master, do you
want me?" He said "Yes. Did you not tell me that Mr. Cobb had not flogged
you," and I said "yes I did; he has not flogged me to-day, sir." Mr. Cobb
answered, "I did not flog him. You did not tell me to flog him. You told
me to flog that other nigger." "What other nigger," enquired Master. Cobb
said, "Dick." Master then said, "I did not. I told you to flog this nigger
here." Cobb then produced the letter, and read it as follows:
"Mr. Cobb will give the bearer 39 lashes on delivery." R.T. EARLE.
I then left the room and explanations took place. When I was again called
in. "How came Dick to have had the letter," and I then said I had forgot
to deliver it until Dick wanted me to go to Baltimore in his place, and I
agreed providing he would take the letter. Master then said "you lie, you
infernal villain," and laid hold of a pair of tongs and said he would dash
my brains out if I did not tell him the truth. I then said I thought there
was something in the note that boded no good to me, and I did not intend
to give it to him. He said, "you black vagabond, stay on this plantation
three months longer, and you will be master and I the slave; no wonder you
said you felt first rate when I asked you, but I will sell you to go to
Georgia the first chance I get." Then laying the tongs down he opened the
door and ordered me out. I knew he had on heavy cow-hide boots, and I knew
he would try to assist me in my outward progress, and though expecting it
and went as quick as I could, I was materially assisted by a heavy kick
from my master's foot. This did not end the matter, for when Dick found
out I had caused his being flogged, we had continual fightings for several
months.
When I was fourteen years old my master gave me a flogging, the marks of
which will go with me to my grave, and this was for a crime of which I was
completely innocent. My master's son had taken one of his pistols out, and
by some accident it burst. When enquiry was made about the damaged pistol
William told his father that he had seen me have it; this, of course, I
denied, when master tied me up by my thumbs and gave me 60 lashes, and
also made me confess the crime before he would release me. From this
flogging my back was raw and sore for three months; the shirt that I wore
was made of rough tow linen, and when at work in the fields it would so
chafe the sores that they would break and run, and the hot sun over me
would bake the shirt fast to my back, and for four weeks I wore that
shirt, unable to pull it off, and when I did pull it off it brought with
it much of my flesh, leaving my back perfectly raw. Some time after this
my master found out the truth about the pistol, and when I saw that he did
not offer me any apology for the beating he had given me, and the lie he
had made me confess, I went to him and said--now, master, you see that you
beat me unjustly about that pistol, and made me confess to a lie--but all
the consolation I got was--clear out, you black rascal; I never struck a
blow amiss in my life, except when I struck at you and happened to miss
you; there are plenty of other crimes you have committed and did not let
me catch you at them, so that flogging will do for the lot.
Master had an old negro in the family called Uncle Reuben. This good old
man and his wife were very good friends of my mother's, and before she was
sold they often met and sung and prayed, and talked about religion
together. Uncle Reuben fell sick in the middle of the harvest, and his
sickness was very severe; but master having a grudge against uncle Reuben,
and his old wife aunt Dinah, respecting a complaint that aunt Dinah had
made to mistress about his having outraged and violated her youngest
daughter, his spite was carried out by Mr. Cobb, the overseer, who forced
Uncle Reuben into the field amongst the rest of us, and I was ordered to
cradle behind him to make him keep up with the rest of the gang. The poor
old man worked until he fell, just ahead of me, upon the cradle. Mr. Cobb
came over and told him to get up, and that he was only playing the old
soldier, and when the old man did not move to get up Mr. Cobb gave him a
few kicks with his heavy boots and told Reuben, sick as he was, that he
would cure him. He ordered us to take off his shirt, and the poor old man
was stripped, when Mr. Cobb, with his hickory cane, laid on him till his
back bled freely; but still the old man seemed to take no notice of what
Mr. Cobb was doing. Mr. Cobb then told us to put on his shirt and carry
him in, for he appeared convinced that Reuben could not walk. The next
morning I went to see him but he did not seem to know anybody. Master came
in along with the Doctor, and master swore at Reuben, telling him that as
soon as he was well enough he should have a good flogging for having, by
his own folly, caught his sickness. The doctor here checked his master's
rage by telling him, as he felt at Reuben by the wrist, he could not live
many minutes longer; at this master was silent, and a few minutes Reuben
was dead. Poor Aunt Dinah came in out of the kitchen and wept fit to break
her poor heart. She had four sons and three daughters, and they all joined
in mournful lamentation.
When I was sixteen I was very fond of dancing, and was invited privately
to a negro shindy or dance, about twelve miles from home, and for this
purpose I got Aunt Dinah to starch the collars for my two linen shirts,
which were the first standing collars I had ever worn in my life; I had a
good pair of trousers, and a jacket, but no necktie, nor no pocket
handkerchief, so I stole aunt Dinah's checked apron, and tore it in
two--one part for a necktie, the other for a pocket handkerchief. I had
twenty-four cents, or pennies which I divided equally with fifty large
brass buttons in my right and left pockets. Now, thought I to myself, when
I get on the floor and begin to dance--oh! how the niggers will stare to
hear the money jingle. I was combing my hair to get the knots out of it: I
then went and looked in an old piece of broken looking-glass, and I
thought, without joking, that I was the best looking negro that I had ever
seen in my life. About ten o'clock I stole out to the stable when all was
still; and while I was getting on one of my master's horses I said to
myself--Master was in here at six o'clock and saw all these horses clean,
so I must look out and be back time enough to have you clean when he gets
up in the morning. I thought what a dash I should cut among the pretty
yellow and Sambo gals, and I felt quite confident, of course, that I
should have my pick among the best looking ones, for my good clothes, and
my abundance of money, and my own good looks--in fact, I thought no mean
things of my self.
When I arrived at the place where the dance was, it was at an old house in
the woods, which had many years before been a negro meeting-house; there
was a large crowd there, and about one hundred horses tied round the
fence--for some of them were far from home, and, like myself, they were
all runaways, and their horses, like mine, had to be home and cleaned
before their masters were up in the morning. In getting my horse close up
to the fence a nail caught my trousers at the thigh, and split them clean
up to the seat; of course my shirt tail fell out behind, like a woman's
apron before. This dreadful misfortune almost unmanned me, and curtailed
both my pride and pleasure for the night. I cried until I could cry no
more. However, I was determined I would not be done out of my sport after
being at the expense of coming, so I went round and borrowed some pins,
and pinned up my shirt tail as well as I could. I then went into the
dance, and told the fiddler to play me a jig. Che, che, che, went the
fiddle, when the banjo responded with a thrum, thrum, thrum, with the loud
cracking of the bone player. I seized a little Sambo gal, and round and
round the room we went, my money and my buttons going jingle, jingle,
jingle, seemed to take a lively part with the music, and to my great
satisfaction every eye seemed to be upon me, and I could not help thinking
about what an impression I should leave behind upon those pretty yellow
and Sambo gals, who were gazing at me, thinking I was the richest and
handsomest nigger they had ever seen: but unfortunately the pins in my
breeches gave way, and to my great confusion my shirt tail fell out; and
what made my situation still more disgraceful was the mischievous conduct
of my partner, the gal that I was dancing with, who instead of trying to
conceal my shame caught my shirt tail behind and held it up. The roar of
laughter that came from both men and gals almost deafened me, and I would
at this moment have sunk through the floor, so I endeavoured to creep out
as slily as I could; but even this I was not permitted to do until I had
undergone a hauling around the room by my unfortunate shirt tail: and this
part of the programme was performed by the gals, set on by the boys--every
nigger who could not stand up and laugh, because laughing made them weak,
fell down on the floor and rolled round and round. When the gals saw their
own turn they let me go and I hurried outside and stood behind the house,
beneath a beautiful bright moon, which saw me that night the most wretched
of all negroes in the land of Dixie; and what made me feel, in my own
opinion, that my humiliation was just as complete as the triumph of the
negroes inside was glorious, was that the gals had turned my pockets out,
and found that the hundreds of dollars they had thought my pockets
contained, consisted of 24 cents or pennies, and 50 brass buttons.
Everything was alive and happy inside the room, but no one knew or cared
how miserable I was--the joy and life of the dance that night seemed
entirely at my expense, all through my unfortunate shirt tail. The first
thing I thought of now was revenge. Take your comfort, niggers now, said I
to myself, for sorrow shall be yours in the morning, so I took out my
knife and went round the fence and cut every horse loose, and they all ran
away. I then got on my horse and set off home. As I rode on I thought to
myself--I only wish I could be somewhere close enough to see how those
negroes will act when they come out and find all their horses gone. And
then I laughed right out when I thought of the sport they had had out of
my misfortune, and that some were ten to twelve, and some fifteen miles
away from home. Well, thought I, your masters will have to reckon with you
to-morrow; you have had glad hearts to-night at my expense, but you will
have sore backs to-morrow at your own. Now, when I got home, the stable
was in a very bad situation, and I was afraid to bring my horse in until I
could strike a light. When this was done, I took the saddle and bridle off
outside. No sooner had I done this than my horse reared over the bars and
ran away into the meadow. I chased him till daylight, and for my life I
could not catch him. My feelings now may be better imagined than
described. When the reader remembers that this horse, with all the rest,
master had seen clean at six o'clock the night before, and all safe in the
stable, and now to see him in the meadow, with all the marks of having
been driven somewhere and by somebody, what excuse could I make, or what
story could I invent in order to save my poor back from that awful
flogging which I knew must be the result of the revelation of the truth. I
studied and tried, but could think of no lie that would stand muster. At
last I went into the stable and turned all the rest out, and left the
stable door open, and creeping into the house, took off my fine clothes
and put on those which I had been wearing all the week, and laid myself
down on my straw. I had not lain long before I heard master shouting for
me, for all those horses, eight in number, were under my care; and
although he shouted for me at the top of his voice, I lay still and
pretended not to hear him; but soon after I heard a light step coming up
stairs, and a rap at my door--then I commenced to snore as loud as
possible, still the knocking continued. At last I pretended to awake, and
called out, who's there--that you, Lizzy? oh my! what's up, what time is
it, and so on. Lizzy said master wanted me immediately; yes, Lizzy, said
I, tell master I'm coming. I bothered about the room long enough to give
colour to the impression that I had just finished dressing myself; I then
came and said, here I am, master, when he demanded of me, what were my
horses doing in the meadow? Here I put on an expression of such wonder and
surprise--looking first into the meadow and then at the stable door, and
to master's satisfaction, I seemed so completely confounded that my
deception took upon him the desired effect. Then I affected to roar right
out, crying, now master, you saw my horses all clean last night before I
went to bed, and now some of those negroes have turned them out so that I
should have them to clean over again: well, I declare! it's too bad, and I
roared and cried as I went towards the meadow to drive them up; but master
believing what I said, called me back and told me to call Mr. Cobb, and
when Mr. Cobb came master told him to blow the horn; when the horn was
blown, the negroes were to be seen coming from all parts of the
plantation, and forming around in front of the balcony. Master then came
out and said, now I saw this boy's horses clean last night and in the
stable, so now tell me which of you turned them out? Of course they all
denied it, then master ordered them all to go down into the meadow and
drive up the horses and clean them, me excepted; so they went and drove
them up and set to work and cleaned them. On Monday morning we all turned
out to work until breakfast, when the horn was blown, and we all repaired
to the house. Here master again demanded to know who turned the horses
loose, and when they all denied it, he tied them all up and gave them each
39 lashes. Not yet satisfied, but determined to have a confession, as was
always his custom on such occasions, he came to me and asked me which one
I had reason to suspect. My poor guilty heart already bleeding for the
suffering I had caused my fellow slaves, was now almost driven to
confession. What must I do, select another victim for further punishment,
or confess the truth and bear the consequence? My conscience now rebuked
me, like an armed man; but I happened to be one of those boys who, among
all even of my mother's children loved myself best, and therefore had no
disposition to satisfy my conscience at the expense of a very sore back,
so I very soon thought of Dick, a negro who, like Ishmael, had his hand
out against every man, and all our hands were out against him; this negro
was a lickspittle or tell-tale, as little boys call them--we could not
steal a bit of tea or sugar, or any other kind of nourishment for our
sick, or do anything else we did not want to be known, but if he got to
know it he would run and tell master or mistress, or the overseer, so we
all wanted him dead; and now I thought of him--he was just the proper
sacrifice for me to lay upon the altar of confession, so I told master I
believed that it was Dick: moreover, I told him that I had seen him in and
out of the stable on Saturday night, so master tied Dick up and gave him
39 lashes more, and washed his back down with salt and water, and told him
that at night if he did not confess, he would give him as much more; so at
night, when master went out to Dick again, he asked if he had made up his
mind to tell him the truth, Dick said, yes, master;--well, said master,
let me hear it. Well master, said Dick, I did turn the horses out; but
will never do so again. So master, satisfied with this confession, struck
Dick no more, and ordered him to be untied; but Dick had a sore back for
many weeks. And now to return to the negroes I had left at the dance, when
they discovered that their horses were gone there was the greatest
consternation amongst them, the forebodings of the awful consequences if
they dared to go home induced many that night to seek salvation in the
direction and guidance of the north star. Several who started off on that
memorable night I have since shook hands with in Canada. They told me
there were sixteen of them went off together, four of them were shot or
killed by the bloodhounds, and one was captured while asleep in a barn;
the rest of those who were at the dance either went home and took their
floggings, or strayed into the woods until starved out, and then
surrendered. One of those I saw in Toronto, is Dan Patterson; he has a
house of his own, with a fine horse and cart, and he has a beautiful Sambo
woman for his wife, and four fine healthy-looking children. But, like
myself, he had left a wife and six children in slavery. When I was about
seventeen, I was deeply smitten in love with a yellow girl belonging to
Doctor Tillotson. This girl's name was Mary, of whose lovliness I dreamt
every night. I certainly thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever
seen in my life. Her colour was very fair, approaching almost to white;
her countenance was frank and open, and very inviting; her voice was as
sweet as the dulcimer, her smiles to me were like the May morning sunbeams
in the spring, one glance of her large dark eyes broke my heart in pieces,
with a stroke like that of an earthquake. O, I thought, this girl would
make me a paradise, and to enjoy her love I thought would be heaven. In
spite of either patrols or dogs, who stood in my way, every night nearly I
was in Mary's company. I learned from her that she had already had a child
to her master in Mobile, and that her mistress had sold her down here for
revenge; and she told me also of the sufferings that she had undergone
from her mistress on account of jealousy--her baby she said her mistress
sold out of her arms, only eleven months old, to a lady in Marysville,
Kentucky. Having never before felt a passion like this, or of the gentle
power, so peculiar to women, that, hard as I worked all day, I could not
sleep at night for thinking of this almost angel in human shape. We kept
company about six weeks, during which time I was at sometimes as wretched
as I was happy at others. Much to my annoyance Mary was adored by every
negro in the neighbourhood, and this excited my jealousy and made me
miserable. I was almost crazy when I saw another negro talking to her.
Again and again I tried my best to get her to give up speaking to them,
but she refused to comply. There was one negro who was in the habit of
calling on Mary whom I dreaded more than all the rest of them put
together, this negro was Dan, he belonged to Rogers; and notwithstanding I
believed myself to be the best looking negro to be found anywhere in the
neighbourhood, still I was aware that I was not the best of talkers. Dan
was a sweet and easy talker, and a good bone and banjo player. I was led
to fear that he would displace me in Mary's affections, and in this I was
not mistaken. One night I went over to see Mary, and in looking through
the window, saw Mary--my sweet and beloved Mary--sitting upon Dan's knee;
and here it is impossible to describe the feeling that came over me at
this unwelcome sight. My teeth clenched and bit my tongue--my head grew
dizzy, and began to swim round and round, and at last I found myself
getting up from the ground, having stumbled from the effects of what I had
seen. I wandered towards home, and arriving there threw myself on the
straw and cried all night. My first determination was to kill Dan; but
then I thought they would hang me and the devil would have us both, and
some other negro will get Mary, then the thought of killing Dan passed
away. Next morning, when the horn blew for breakfast, I continued my work,
my appetite having left me; at dinner time it was the same. At sun-down I
went to the barn and got a rope and put it under my jacket, and started
off to see Mary, whom I found sitting in the kitchen, smoking her pipe,
for smoking was as common among the girls as among the men. Mary, said I,
I was over here last night and saw you through the window sitting on Dan's
knee. Now, Mary, I want you to tell me at once whose you mean to be--mine
or Dan's? Dan's, she replied, with an important toss of her head, which
went through my very soul, like the shock from a galvanic battery. I
rested for a minute or so on an old oak table that stood by. Mary's answer
had unstrung every nerve in me, and left me so weak that I could scarcely
keep from falling. Now I was not at that time, and don't think I ever
shall be one of those fools who would cut off his nose to spite his face,
much less kill myself because a girl refused to love me. Life to me was
always preferable, under any circumstances; but in this case I played the
most dexterous card I had. Mary, said I sternly, if you don't give Dan up
and sware to be mine, I will hang myself this night. To this she replied,
hang on if you are fool enough, and continued smoking her pipe as though
not the least alarmed. I took out the rope from under my jacket, and got
upon a three-legged stool, and putting the rope first over the beam in the
ceiling, then made a slip-knot, and brought it down round my neck, taking
good care to have it short enough that it would not choke me, and in this
way I stood upon the stool for some considerable time, groaning and
struggling, and making every kind of noise that might make her believe
that I was choking or strangling; but still Mary sat deliberately smoking
her pipe with the utmost coolness, and seemed to take no notice of me or
what I was doing. I thought my situation worse now than if I had not
commenced this job at all. My object in pretending to hang myself was to
frighten Mary into compliance with my demand, and her conduct turned out
to be everything but what I had expected. I had thought that the moment I
ascended the stool she would have clung to me and tried to dissuade me
from committing suicide, and in this case my plan was to persist in
carrying it out, unless she would consent to give Dan up; but instead of
this she sat smoking her pipe apparently at ease and unmoved. Now I found
I had been mistaken--what was I to do, to hang or kill myself was the last
thing I meant to do--in fact I had not the courage to do it for five
hundred Marys. But now, after mounting the stool and adjusting the rope
round my neck, I was positively ashamed to come down without hanging
myself, and then I stood like a fool. At this moment in came the dog
carlow, racing after the cat, right across the kitchen floor, and the dog
coming in contact with the stool, knocked it right away from under my
feet, and brought my neck suddenly to the full length of the rope, which
barely allowed my toes to touch the floor. Here I seized the rope with
both hands to keep the weight of my whole body off my neck, and in this
situation I soon found I must hang, and that dead enough, unless I had
some assistance, for the stool had rolled entirely out of the reach of my
feet, and the knot I had tied behind the beam I could not reach for my
life. My arms began to tremble with holding on to the rope, and still my
mortification and pride for some time refused to let me call on Mary for
assistance. Such a moment of terror and suspense! heaven forbid that I
should ever see or experience again. Thoughts rushed into my mind of every
bad deed that I had done in my life; and I thought that old cloven foot,
as we called the devil, was waiting to nab me. The stretch upon my arms
exhausted me, with holding on by the rope, nothing was left me but
despair; my pride and courage gave up the ghost, and I roared out, Mary!
for God's sake cut the rope! No, answered Mary, you went up there to hang
yourself, so now hang on. Oh! Mary, Mary! I did not mean to hang! I was
only doing so to see what you would say. Well, then, said Mary; you hear
what I have to say--hang on. Oh, Mary! for heaven's sake cut this rope, or
I shall strangle to death!--oh, dear, good Mary, save me this time: and I
roared out like a jackass, and must too have fainted, for when I came
round Doctor Tillotson and his wife and Mary stood over me as I lay on the
floor. How I got upon the floor, or who cut the rope I never knew. Doctor
Tillotson had hold of my wrist, feeling my pulse; while mistress held a
camphor bottle in one hand and a bottle of hartshorn in the other. The
doctor helped me up from the floor and set me in a chair, when I
discovered that I was bleeding very freely from the nose and mouth. He
called for a basin and bled me in my left arm, and then sent me over home
by two of his men. Next day my neck was dreadfully swollen, and my throat
was so sore that it was with difficulty that I could swallow meat for more
than a week. At the end of a fortnight, master having learnt all the
particulars respecting my sickness, called me to account, and gave me
seventy-eight lashes, and this was the end of my crazy love and courtship
with Mary.