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Sentimental Tommy by J. M. Barrie

J >> J. M. Barrie >> Sentimental Tommy




"But they're no," said Elspeth, sadly.

"No," he admitted, his face falling, "but, Elspeth, if I was to hear
some day of work I could put my heart into as if it were a game! I
wouldna be laug in finding the treasure syne. Oh, the blatter I would
make!"

"I doubt there's no sic work," she answered, but he told her not to be
so sure. "I thought there wasna mysel'," he said, "till now, but sure as
death my heart was as ta'en up wi' hunting for the right word as if it
had been a game, and that was how the time slipped by so quick. Yet it
was paying work, for the way I did it made Mr. Ogilvy see I should have
got the prize, and a' body kens there's more cleverness in him than in
a cart-load o' ministers."

"But, but there are no more Hugh Blackadders to try for, Tommy?"

"That's nothing, there maun be other work o' the same kind. Elspeth,
cheer up, I tell you, I'll find a wy!"

"But you didna ken yoursel' that you should have got the Hugh
Blackadder?"

He would not let this depress him. "I ken now," he said. Nevertheless,
why he should have got it was a mystery which he longed to fathom. Mr.
Ogilvy had returned to Glenquharity, so that an explanation could not be
drawn from him even if he were willing to supply it, which was
improbable; but Tommy caught Grizel in the Banker's Close and compelled
her to speak.

"I won't tell you a word of what Mr. Ogilvy said," she insisted, in her
obstinate way, and, oh, how she despised Corp for breaking his promise.

"Corp didna ken he telled me," said Tommy, less to clear Corp than to
exalt himself, "I wriggled it out o' him;" but even this did not bring
Grizel to a proper frame of mind, so he said, to annoy her,

"At any rate you're fond o' me."

"I am not," she replied, stamping; "I think you are horrid."

"What else made you send Corp to me?"

"I did that because I heard you were calling yourself a blockhead."

"Oho," said he, "so you have been speiring about me though you winna
speak to me!"

Grizel looked alarmed, and thinking to weaken his case, said, hastily,
"I very nearly kept it from you, I said often to myself 'I won't tell
him.'"

"So you have been thinking a lot about me!" was his prompt comment.

"If I have," she retorted, "I did not think nice things. And what is
more, I was angry with myself for telling Corp to tell you."

Surely this was crushing, but apparently Tommy did not think so, for he
said, "You did it against your will! That means I hare a power over you
that you canna resist. Oho, oho!"

Had she become more friendly so should he, had she shed one tear he
would have melted immediately; but she only looked him up and down
disdainfully, and it hardened him. He said with a leer, "I ken what
makes you hold your hands so tight, it's to keep your arms frae
wagging;" and then her cry, "How do you know?" convicted her. He had not
succeeded in his mission, but on his way home he muttered, triumphantly,
"I did her, I did her!" and once he stopped to ask himself the question,
"Was it because my heart was in it?" It was their last meeting till they
were man and woman.

* * * * *

A blazing sun had come out on top of heavy showers, and the land reeked
and smelled as of the wash-tub. The smaller girls of Monypenny were
sitting in passages playing at fivey, just as Sappho for instance used
to play it; but they heard the Dubb of Prosen cart draw up at Aaron
Latta's door, and they followed it to see the last of Tommy Sandys. Corp
was already there, calling in at the door every time he heard a sob;
"Dinna, Elspeth, dinna, he'll find a wy," but Grizel had refused to
come, though Tommy knew that she had been asking when he started and
which road the cart would take. Well, he was not giving her a thought at
any rate; his box was in the cart now, and his face was streaked with
tears that were all for Elspeth. She should not have come to the door,
but she came, and--it was such a pitiable sight that Aaron Latta could
not look on. He went hurriedly to his workshop, but not to warp, and
even the carter was touched and he said to Tommy, "I tell you what, man,
I have to go round by Causeway End smiddy, and you and the crittur have
time, if you like, to take the short cut and meet me at the far corner
o' Caddam wood."

So Tommy and Elspeth, holding each other's hands, took the short cut and
they came to the far end of Caddam, and Elspeth thought they had better
say it here before the cart came; but Tommy said he would walk back with
her through the wood as far as the Toom Well, and they could say it
there. They tried to say it at the Well, but--Elspeth was still with him
when he returned to the far corner of Caddam, where the cart was now
awaiting him. The carter was sitting on the shaft, and he told them he
was in no hurry, and what is more, he had the delicacy to turn his back
on them and struck his horse with the reins for looking round at the
sorrowful pair. They should have said it now, but first Tommy walked
back a little bit of the way with Elspeth, and then she came back with
him, and that was to be the last time, but he could not leave her, and
so, there they were in the wood, looking woefully at each other, and it
was not said yet.

They had said it now, and all was over; they were several paces apart.
Elspeth smiled, she had promised to smile because Tommy said it would
kill him if she was greeting at the very end. But what a smile it was!
Tommy whistled, he had promised to whistle to show that he was happy as
long as Elspeth could smile. She stood still, but he went on, turning
round every few yards to--to whistle. "Never forget, day nor night, what
I said to you," he called to her. "You're the only one I love, and I
care not a hair for Grizel."

But when he disappeared, shouting to her, "I'll find a wy, I'll find a
wy," she screamed and ran after him. He was already in the cart, and it
had started. He stood up in it and waved his hand to her, and she stood
on the dyke and waved to him, and thus they stood waving till a hollow
in the road swallowed cart and man and boy. Then Elspeth put her hands
to her eyes and went sobbing homeward.

When she was gone, a girl who had heard all that passed between them
rose from among the broom of Caddam and took Elspeth's place on the
dyke, where she stood motionless waiting for the cart to reappear as it
climbed the other side of the hollow. She wore a black frock and a blue
bonnet with white strings, but the cart was far away, and Tommy thought
she was Elspeth, and springing to his feet again in the cart he waved
and waved. At first she did not respond, for had she not heard him say,
"You're the only one I love, and I care not a hair for Grizel?" And she
knew he was mistaking her for Elspeth. But by and by it struck her that
he would be more unhappy if he thought Elspeth was too overcome by grief
to wave to him. Her arms rocked passionately; no, no, she would not lift
them to wave to him, he could be as unhappy as he chose. Then in a
spirit of self-abnegation that surely raised her high among the
daughters of men, though she was but a painted lady's child, she waved
to him to save him pain, and he, still erect in the cart, waved back
until nothing could be seen by either of them save wood and fields and a
long, deserted road.

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