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Three Lives by Gertrude Stein

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Lena now never any more saw the girls she always used to sit with. She
had no way now to see them and it was not in Lena's nature to search
out ways to see them, nor did she now ever think much of the days when
she had been used to see them. They never any of them had come to the
Kreder house to see her. Not even Irish Mary had ever thought to come
to see her. Lena had been soon forgotten by them. They had soon passed
away from Lena and now Lena never thought any more that she had ever
known them.

The only one of her old friends who tried to know what Lena liked and
what she needed, and who always made Lena come to see her, was the
good german cook who had always scolded. She now scolded Lena hard for
letting herself go so, and going out when she was looking so untidy.
"I know you going to have a baby Lena, but that's no way for you to be
looking. I am ashamed most to see you come and sit here in my kitchen,
looking so sloppy and like you never used to Lena. I never see anybody
like you Lena. Herman is very good to you, you always say so, and he
don't treat you bad even though you don't deserve to have anybody good
to you, you so careless all the time, Lena, letting yourself go like
you never had anybody tell you what was the right way you should know
how to be looking. No, Lena, I don't see no reason you should let
yourself go so and look so untidy Lena, so I am ashamed to see you sit
there looking so ugly, Lena. No Lena that ain't no way ever I see a
woman make things come out better, letting herself go so every way and
crying all the time like as if you had real trouble. I never wanted to
see you marry Herman Kreder, Lena, I knew what you got to stand with
that old woman always, and that old man, he is so stingy too and he
don't say things out but he ain't any better in his heart than his
wife with her bad ways, I know that Lena, I know they don't hardly
give you enough to eat, Lena, I am real sorry for you Lena, you know
that Lena, but that ain't any way to be going round so untidy Lena,
even if you have got all that trouble. You never see me do like that
Lena, though sometimes I got a headache so I can't see to stand to
be working hardly, and nothing comes right with all my cooking, but I
always see Lena, I look decent. That's the only way a german girl can
make things come out right Lena. You hear me what I am saying to you
Lena. Now you eat something nice Lena, I got it all ready for you, and
you wash up and be careful Lena and the baby will come all right to
you, and then I make your Aunt Mathilda see that you live in a house
soon all alone with Herman and your baby, and then everything go
better for you. You hear me what I say to you Lena. Now don't let me
ever see you come looking like this any more Lena, and you just stop
with that always crying. You ain't got no reason to be sitting there
now with all that crying, I never see anybody have trouble it did them
any good to do the way you are doing, Lena. You hear me Lena. You go
home now and you be good the way I tell you Lena, and I see what I can
do. I make your Aunt Mathilda make old Mrs. Kreder let you be till you
get your baby all right. Now don't you be scared and so silly Lena. I
don't like to see you act so Lena when really you got a nice man and
so many things really any girl should be grateful to be having. Now
you go home Lena to-day and you do the way I say, to you, and I see
what I can do to help you."

"Yes Mrs. Aldrich" said the good german woman to her mistress later,
"Yes Mrs. Aldrich that's the way it is with them girls when they want
so to get married. They don't know when they got it good Mrs. Aldrich.
They never know what it is they're really wanting when they got it,
Mrs. Aldrich. There's that poor Lena, she just been here crying and
looking so careless so I scold her, but that was no good that marrying
for that poor Lena, Mrs. Aldrich. She do look so pale and sad now Mrs.
Aldrich, it just break my heart to see her. She was a good girl was
Lena, Mrs. Aldrich, and I never had no trouble with her like I got
with so many young girls nowadays, Mrs. Aldrich, and I never see any
girl any better to work right than our Lena, and now she got to stand
it all the time with that old woman Mrs. Kreder. My! Mrs. Aldrich, she
is a bad old woman to her. I never see Mrs. Aldrich how old people can
be so bad to young girls and not have no kind of patience with them.
If Lena could only live with her Herman, he ain't so bad the way men
are, Mrs. Aldrich, but he is just the way always his mother wants him,
he ain't got no spirit in him, and so I don't really see no help for
that poor Lena. I know her aunt, Mrs. Haydon, meant it all right for
her Mrs. Aldrich, but poor Lena, it would be better for her if her
Herman had stayed there in New York that time he went away to leave
her. I don't like it the way Lena is looking now, Mrs. Aldrich. She
looks like as if she don't have no life left in her hardly, Mrs.
Aldrich, she just drags around and looks so dirty and after all the
pains I always took to teach her and to keep her nice in her ways and
looking. It don't do no good to them, for them girls to get married
Mrs. Aldrich, they are much better when they only know it, to stay in
a good place when they got it, and keep on regular with their working.
I don't like it the way Lena looks now Mrs. Aldrich. I wish I knew
some way to help that poor Lena, Mrs. Aldrich, but she she is a bad
old woman, that old Mrs. Kreder, Herman's mother. I speak to Mrs.
Haydon real soon, Mrs. Aldrich, I see what we can do now to help that
poor Lena."

These were really bad days for poor Lena. Herman always was real
good to her and now he even sometimes tried to stop his mother from
scolding Lena. "She ain't well now mama, you let her be now you hear
me. You tell me what it is you want she should be doing, I tell her. I
see she does it right just the way you want it mama. You let be, I say
now mama, with that always scolding Lena. You let be, I say now, you
wait till she is feeling better." Herman was getting really strong
to struggle, for he could see that Lena with that baby working hard
inside her, really could not stand it any longer with his mother and
the awful ways she always scolded.

It was a new feeling Herman now had inside him that made him feel he
was strong to make a struggle. It was new for Herman Kreder really to
be wanting something, but Herman wanted strongly now to be a father,
and he wanted badly that his baby should be a boy and healthy, Herman
never had cared really very much about his father and his mother,
though always, all his life, he had done everything just as they
wanted, and he had never really cared much about his wife, Lena,
though he always had been very good to her, and had always tried to
keep his mother off her, with the awful way she always scolded, but to
be really a father of a little baby, that feeling took hold of Herman
very deeply. He was almost ready, so as to save his baby from all
trouble, to really make a strong struggle with his mother and with his
father, too, if he would not help him to control his mother.

Sometimes Herman even went to Mrs. Haydon to talk all this trouble
over. They decided then together, it was better to wait there all four
together for the baby, and Herman could make Mrs. Kreder stop a little
with her scolding, and then when Lena was a little stronger, Herman
should have his own house for her, next door to his father, so he
could always be there to help him in his working, but so they could
eat and sleep in a house where the old woman could not control them
and they could not hear her awful scolding.

And so things went on, the same way, a little longer. Poor Lena was
not feeling any joy to have a baby. She was scared the way she had
been when she was so sick on the water. She was scared now every time
when anything would hurt her. She was scared and still and lifeless,
and sure that every minute she would die. Lena had no power to be
strong in this kind of trouble, she could only sit still and be
scared, and dull, and lifeless, and sure that every minute she would
die.

Before very long, Lena had her baby. He was a good, healthy little
boy, the baby. Herman cared very much to have the baby. When Lena was
a little stronger he took a house next door to the old couple, so he
and his own family could eat and sleep and do the way they wanted.
This did not seem to make much change now for Lena. She was just the
same as when she was waiting with her baby. She just dragged around
and was careless with her clothes and all lifeless, and she acted
always and lived on just as if she had no feeling. She always did
everything regular with the work, the way she always had had to do it,
but she never got back any spirit in her. Herman was always good and
kind, and always helped her with her working. He did everything he
knew to help her. He always did all the active new things in the house
and for the baby. Lena did what she had to do the way she always had
been taught it. She always just kept going now with her working, and
she was always careless, and dirty, and a little dazed, and lifeless.
Lena never got any better in herself of this way of being that she had
had ever since she had been married.

Mrs. Haydon never saw any more of her niece, Lena. Mrs. Haydon had now
so much trouble with her own house, and her daughters getting married,
and her boy, who was growing up, and who always was getting so much
worse to manage. She knew she had done right by Lena. Herman Kreder
was a good man, she would be glad to get one so good, sometimes,
for her own daughters, and now they had a home to live in together,
separate from the old people, who had made their trouble for them.
Mrs. Haydon felt she had done very well by her niece, Lena, and she
never thought now she needed any more to go and see her. Lena would do
very well now without her aunt to trouble herself any more about her.

The good german cook who had always scolded, still tried to do her
duty like a mother to poor Lena. It was very hard now to do right by
Lena. Lena never seemed to hear now what anyone was saying to her.
Herman was always doing everything he could to help her. Herman
always, when he was home, took good care of the baby. Herman loved
to take care of his baby. Lena never thought to take him out or to do
anything she didn't have to.

The good cook sometimes made Lena come to see her. Lena would come
with her baby and sit there in the kitchen, and watch the good woman
cooking, and listen to her sometimes a little, the way she used to,
while the good german woman scolded her for going around looking so
careless when now she had no trouble, and sitting there so dull, and
always being just so thankless. Sometimes Lena would wake up a little
and get back into her face her old, gentle, patient, and unsuffering
sweetness, but mostly Lena did not seem to hear much when the good
german woman scolded. Lena always liked it when Mrs. Aldrich her good
mistress spoke to her kindly, and then Lena would seem to go back
and feel herself to be like she was when she had been in service.
But mostly Lena just lived along and was careless in her clothes, and
dull, and lifeless.

By and by Lena had two more little babies. Lena was not so much scared
now when she had the babies. She did not seem to notice very much
when they hurt her, and she never seemed to feel very much now about
anything that happened to her.

They were very nice babies, all these three that Lena had, and Herman
took good care of them always. Herman never really cared much about
his wife, Lena. The only things Herman ever really cared for were his
babies. Herman always was very good to his children. He always had a
gentle, tender way when he held them. He learned to be very handy with
them. He spent all the time he was not working, with them. By and by
he began to work all day in his own home so that he could have his
children always in the same room with him.

Lena always was more and more lifeless and Herman now mostly never
thought about her. He more and more took all the care of their three
children. He saw to their eating right and their washing, and he
dressed them every morning, and he taught them the right way to do
things, and he put them to their sleeping, and he was now always every
minute with them. Then there was to come to them, a fourth baby. Lena
went to the hospital near by to have the baby. Lena seemed to be going
to have much trouble with it. When the baby was come out at last, it
was like its mother lifeless. While it was coming, Lena had grown very
pale and sicker. When it was all over Lena had died, too, and nobody
knew just how it had happened to her.

The good german cook who had always scolded Lena, and had always to
the last day tried to help her, was the only one who ever missed
her. She remembered how nice Lena had looked all the time she was
in service with her, and how her voice had been so gentle and
sweet-sounding, and how she always was a good girl, and how she never
had to have any trouble with her, the way she always had with all the
other girls who had been taken into the house to help her. The good
cook sometimes spoke so of Lena when she had time to have a talk with
Mrs. Aldrich, and this was all the remembering there now ever was of
Lena.

Herman Kreder now always lived very happy, very gentle, very quiet,
very well content alone with his three children. He never had a woman
any more to be all the time around him. He always did all his own
work in his house, when he was through every day with the work he was
always doing for his father. Herman always was alone, and he always
worked alone, until his little ones were big enough to help him.
Herman Kreder was very well content now and he always lived very
regular and peaceful, and with every day just like the next one,
always alone now with his three good, gentle children.

FINIS








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