Same old Bill, eh Mable! by Edward Streeter

E >> Edward Streeter >> Same old Bill, eh Mable!

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An here I am safe an sound without even a wound stripe. I feel the
same way that I did when I came across on the boat without getting
sunk. It aint fair to you somehow or other. I kind of cheated somehow,
tho for the life of me I cant figer how. It makes me into a sort of a
third class crook but Im glad to be one.

Theres been an awful lot of talk in the papers an magazines about how
were comin home changed men. I dont believe your goin to have any
trouble recognizin me, Mable. Perhaps Ive gotten a little stouter.
Thats about all. Even the Captin, whose been with me ever since we
started, was sayin to me the other day "Smith, I cant see any
difference in you since the first day you came into the army."

I got thinkin the other night what a lot of good yarns I had to spin
when I got home. I was plannin on how people would probably ask me
around to dinner sos I could amuse em with stories about the war. I
happened to menshun it to Angus an he says yes an there was about two
milyun others plannin the same thing. He says the stuff about the
folks that stay at home sufferin the most was never truer than it is
just now.

So Ive just sworn off talkin war when I get home. I aint never goin to
get like that fello down in Henrys barber shop that just sits around
all day tryin to get somebody to lissen to the Battle of Gethisburg.

I may have speshul occashuns when I let loose. Like once in a while
when were sittin alone evenins in the little house with the green
blinds that aint built yet. Then Ill get out the helmet that belonged
to the red headed Fritz an the looger pistel an the irun crosses. Ill
tell you how the big ones sounded when they went over the dug-out. Ill
show you how Fritz says Kamarad. Ill tell you about bilets an mud an
Top sargents an whiz bangs. Perhaps once a year, say Crismus or
something, Ill tell about goin over the top. I got to get that out of
my sistem once in a while.

The rest of the time Im goin to be just plain Mr. Bill Smith, docter
or brick layer or lawyer or street car conductor--anything in fact
that hasnt got any horses connected with it.

[Illustration: "IM GOING TO BE JUST PLAIN MR. BILL SMITH"]

So good by for a while. The next time you here from me itll be the
scrapin of my hobnails on the front stoop. Then look out. Impulsive.
Thats me all over, Mable.

_Bill_

THE END

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