Military Memoirs of Capt. George Carleton by Daniel Defoe

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The Hours of the _Ave Bell_, are eight and twelve in the Morning, and
six in the Evening. They pretend at the first to fall down in beg that
God would be pleas'd to prosper them in all things they go about that
Day. At twelve they return Thanks for their Preservation to that time;
and at six for that of the whole Day. After which, one would think that
they imagine themselves at perfect Liberty; and their open Gallantries
perfectly countenance the Imagination: for tho' Adultery is look'd upon
as a grievous Crime, and punish'd accordingly; yet Fornication is
softened with the title of a Venial Sin, and they seem to practise it
under that Persuasion.

I found here, what _Erasmus_ ridicules with so much Wit and Delicacy,
the custom of burying in a _Franciscan's_ Habit, in mighty request. If
they can for that purpose procure an old one at the price of a new one;
the Purchaser wil look upon himself a provident Chap, that has secur'd
to his deceased Friend or Relation, no less than Heaven by that wise
Bargain.

The Evening being almost the only time of Enjoyment of Company, or
Conversation, every body in _Spain_ then greedily seeks it; and the
Streets are at that time crowded like our finest Gardens or most private
Walks. On one of those Occasions, I met a Don of my Acquaintance walking
out with his Sisters; and as I thought it became an _English_ Cavalier,
I saluted him: But to my Surprize he never return'd the Civility. When I
met him the Day after, instead of an Apology, as I had flattered my
self, I received a Reprimand, tho' a very civil one; telling me it was
the Custom in _Spain_, nor well taken of any one, that took Notice of
any who were walking in the Company of Ladies at Night.

But a Night or two after, I found by Experience, that if the Men were by
Custom prohibited taking Notice, Women were not. I was standing at the
Door, in the cool of the Evening, when a Woman seemingly genteel,
passing by, call'd me by my Name, telling me she wanted to speak with
me: She had her _Mantilio_ on; so that had I had Day-light, I could have
only seen one Eye of her. However I walk'd with her a good while,
without being able to discover any thing of her Business, nor pass'd
there between us any thing more than a Conversation upon indifferent
Matters. Nevertheless, at parting she told me she should pass by again
the next Evening; and if I would be at the Door, she would give me the
same Advantage of a Conversation, That seem'd not to displease me.
Accordingly the next Night she came, and as before we walk'd together in
the privatest parts of the Town: For tho' I knew her not, her Discourse
was always entertaining and full of Wit, and her Enquiries not often
improper. We had continu'd this Intercourse many Nights together, when
my Landlady's Daughter having taken Notice of it, stopt me one Evening,
and would not allow me to stand at the usual Post of Intelligence,
saying, with a good deal of heat, _Don Gorgio, take my Advice; go no
more along with that Woman: You may soon be brought home deprived of
your Life if you do_. I cannot say, whether she knew her; but this I
must say, she was very agreeable in Wit as well as Person. However my
Landlady and her Daughter took that Opportunity of giving me so many
Instances of the fatal Issues of such innocent Conversations, (for I
could not call it an Intrigue) that apprehensive enough of the Danger,
on laying Circumstances together, I took their Advice, and never went
into her Company after.

_Sainte Clemente de la Mancha_, where I so long remain'd a Prisoner of
War, lies in the Road from _Madrid_ to _Valencia_; and the Duke of
_Vendome_ being ordered to the latter, great Preparations were made for
his Entertainment, as he pass'd through. He stay'd here only one Night,
where he was very handsomely treated by the _Corrigidore_. He was a
tall fair Person, and very fat, and at the time I saw him wore a long
black Patch over his left Eye; but on what Occasion I could not learn.
The afterwards famous _Alberoni_ (since made a Cardinal) was in his
Attendance; as indeed the Duke was very rarely without him. I remember
that very Day three Weeks, they return'd through the same Place; the
Duke in his Herse, and _Alberoni_ in a Coach, paying his last Duties.
That Duke was a prodigious Lover of Fish, of which having eat over
heartily at _Veneros_, in the Province of _Valencia_, he took a Surfeit,
and died in three Days' time. His Corps was carrying to the _Escurial_,
there to be buried in the _Panthaeon_ among their Kings.

The _Castilians_ have a Privilege by Licence from the Pope, which, if it
could have been converted into a Prohibition, might have sav'd that
Duke's Life: In regard their Country is wholly inland, and the River
_Tagus_ famous for its Poverty, or rather Barrenness; their Holy Father
indulges the Natives with the Liberty, in lieu of that dangerous
Eatable, of eating all Lent time the Inwards of Cattle. When I first
heard this related, I imagin'd, that the Garbidge had been intended, but
I was soon after this rectify'd, _by Inwards_ (for so expressly says the
Licence it self) _is meant the Heart, the Liver, and the Feet_.

They have here as well as in most other Parts of _Spain, Valencia_
excepted, the most wretched Musick in the Universe. Their _Guitars_, if
not their _Sole_, are their darling Instruments, and what they most
delight in: Tho' in my Opinion our _English_ Sailors are not much amiss
in giving them the Title of _Strum Strums_. They are little better than
our _Jews-harps,_ tho' hardly half so Musical. Yet are they perpetually
at Nights disturbing their Women with the Noise of them, under the
notion and name of Serenadoes. From the Barber to the Grandee the
Infection spreads, and very often with the same Attendant, Danger: Night
Quarrels and Rencounters being the frequent Result. The true born
_Spaniards_ reckon it a part of their Glory, to be jealous of their
Mistresses, which is too often the Forerunner of Murders; at best
attended with many other very dangerous Inconveniences. And yet bad as
their Musick is, their Dancing is the reverse. I have seen a Country
Girl manage her Castanets with the graceful Air of a Dutchess, and that
not to common Musick; but to Peoples beating or druming a Tune with
their Hands on a Table. I have seen half a Dozen couple at a time dance
to the like in excellent order.

I just now distinguish'd, by an Exception, the Music of _Valencia_,
where alone I experienced the use of the Violin; which tho' I cannot, in
respect to other Countries, call good; yet in respect to the other parts
of _Spain_, I must acknowledge it much the best. In my Account of that
City, I omitted to speak of it; therefore now to supply that Defect, I
will speak of the best I heard, which was on this unfortunate Occasion:
Several Natives of that Country having received Sentence of Death for
their Adherence to King _Charles_, were accordingly ordered to the Place
of Execution. It is the Custom there, on all such Occasions, for all the
Musick of the City to meet near the Gallows, and play the most affecting
and melancholy Airs, to the very approach of the Condemn'd; and really
the Musick was so moving, it heightened the Scene of Sorrow, and brought
Compassion into the Eyes of even Enemies.

As to the Condemn'd, they came stript of their own Cloaths, and cover'd
with black Frocks, in which they were led along the Streets to the Place
of Execution, the Friars praying all the way. When they came through any
Street, were any public Images were fix'd, they stay'd before 'em some
reasonable time in Prayer with the Friars. When they are arriv'd at the
fatal Place, those Fathers leave 'em not, but continue praying and
giving them ghostly Encouragement, standing upon the rounds of the
Ladder till they are turn'd off. The Hangman always wears a silver Badge
of a Ladder to distinguish his Profession: But his manner of executing
his Office had somewhat in it too singular to allow of Silence. When he
had ty'd fast the Hands of the Criminal, he rested his Knee upon them,
and with one Hand on the Criminal's Nostrils, to stop his Breath the
sooner, threw himself off the Ladder along with the dying Party. This he
does to expedite his Fate; tho' considering the Force, I wonder it does
not tear Head and Body asunder; which yet I never heard that it did.

But to return to _la Mancha_; I had been there now upwards of two Years,
much diverted with the good Humour and Kindness of the Gentlemen, and
daily pleased with the Conversation of the Nuns of the Nunnery opposite
to my Lodgings; when walking one Day alone upon the _Plaza_, I found my
self accosted by a _Clerico_. At the first Attack, he told me his
Country: But added, that he now came from _Madrid_ with a _Potent_, that
was his Word, from _Pedro de Dios_, Dean of the Inquisition, to
endeavour the Conversion of any of the _English_ Prisoners; that being
an _Irish-man_, as a sort of a Brother, he had conceived a Love for the
_English_, and therefore more eagerly embraced the Opportunity which the
Holy Inquisition had put into his Hands for the bringing over to Mother
Church as many Hereticks as he could; that having heard a very good
Character of me, he should think himself very happy, if he could be
instrumental in my Salvation;

"It is very true, continu'd he, I have lately had the good Fortune to
convert many; and besides the Candour of my own Disposition, I must tell
you, that I have a peculiar knack at Conversion, which very few, if any,
ever could resist. I am going upon the same work into _Murcia_; but your
good Character is fix'd me in my Resolution of preferring your Salvation
to that of others."

To this very long, and no less surprising Address, I only return'd, that
it being an Affair of moment, it would require some Consideration; and
that by the time he return'd from _Murcia_, I might be able to return
him a proper Answer. But not at all satisfy'd with this Reply;

"Sir," says he, "God Almighty is all-sufficient: This moment is too
precious to be lost; he can turn the Heart in the twinkling of an Eye,
as well as in twenty Years. Hear me then; mind what I say to you: I will
convince you immediately. You Hereticks do not believe in
Transubstantiation, and yet did not our Saviour say in so many Words,
_Hoc est corpus meum_? And if you don't believe him, don't you give him
the Lye? Besides, does not one of the Fatherss ay, _Deus, qui est omnis
Veritas, non potest dicere falsum_?"

He went on at the same ridiculous rate; which soon convinced me, he was
a thorough Rattle. However, as a _Clerico_, and consequently in this
Country, a Man dangerous to disoblige, I invited him home to Dinner;
where when I had brought him, I found I had no way done an unacceptable
thing; for my Landlady and her Daughter, seeing him to be a Clergyman,
receiv'd him with a vast deal of Respect and Pleasure.

Dinner being over, he began to entertain me with a Detail of the many
wonderful Conversions he had made upon obstinate Hereticks; that he had
convinced the most Stubborn, and had such a _Nostrum_, that he would
undertake to convert any one. Here he began his old round, intermixing
his Harangue with such scraps and raw sentences of fustian _Latin_, that
I grew weary of his Conversation; so pretending some Business of
consequence, I took leave, and left him and my Landlady together.

I did not return till pretty late in the Evening, with Intent to give
him Time enough to think his own Visit tedious; but to my great
Surprize, I found my _Irish_ Missionary still on the Spot, ready to dare
me to the Encounter, and resolv'd, like a true Son of the Church
militant, to keep last on the Field of Battle. As soon as I had seated
my self, he began again to tell me, how good a Character my Landlady had
given me, which had prodigiously increased his Ardour of saving my Soul;
that he could not answer it to his own Character, as well as mine, to be
negligent; and therefore he had enter'd into a Resolution to stay my
Coming, though it had been later. To all which, I return'd him Abundance
of Thanks for his good Will, but pleading Indisposition and want of
Rest, after a good deal of civil Impertinence, I once more got rid of
him; at least, I took my Leave, and went to Bed, leaving him again
Master of the Field; for I understood next Morning, that he stay'd some
Time after I was gone, with my good Landlady.

Next Morning the Nuns of the Nunnery opposite, having taken Notice of
the _Clerico's_ Ingress, long Visit, and late Egress, sent to know
whether he was my Countryman; with many other Questions, which I was not
then let into the Secret of. To all which I return'd, that he was no
Countryman of mine, but an _Irish-man_, and so perfectly a Stranger to
me, that I knew no more of him than what I had from his own Mouth, that
he was going into _Murcia_. What the Meaning of this Enquiry was, I
could never learn; but I could not doubt, but it proceeded from their
great Care of their _Vicino_, as they call'd me; a Mark of their Esteem,
and of which I was not a little proud.

As was my usual Custom, I had been taking my Morning Walk, and had not
been long come home in order to Dinner, when in again drops my _Irish
Clerico_; I was confounded, and vexed, and he could not avoid taking
Notice of it; nevertheless, without the least Alteration of Countenance,
he took his Seat; and on my saying, in a cold and indifferent Tone, that
I imagin'd he had been got to _Murcia_ before this; he reply'd, with a
natural Fleer, that truely he was going to _Murcia_, but his Conscience
pricked him, and he did find that he could not go away with any
Satisfaction, or Peace of Mind, without making me a perfect Convert;
that he had plainly discovered in me a good Disposition, and had, for
that very Reason, put himself to the Charge of Man and Mule, to the
Bishop of _Cuenca_ for a Licence, under his Hand, for my Conversion: For
in _Spain_, all private Missionaries are obliged to ask Leave of the
next Bishop, before they dare enter upon any Enterprize of this Nature.

I was more confounded at this last Assurance of the Man than at all
before; and it put me directly upon reflecting, whether any, and what
Inconveniences might ensue, from a Rencounter that I, at first,
conceiv'd ridiculous, but might now reasonably begin to have more
dangerous Apprehensions of. I knew, by the Articles of War, all Persons
are exempted from any Power of the Inquisition; but whether carrying on
a Part in such a Farce, might not admit, or at least be liable to some
dangerous Construction, was not imprudently now to be considered. Though
I was not fearful, yet I resolv'd to be cautious. Wherefore not making
any Answer to his Declaration about the Bishop, he took Notice of it;
and to raise a Confidence, he found expiring, began to tell me, that his
Name was _Murtough Brennan_, that he was born near _Kilkenny_, of a very
considerable Family. This last part indeed, when I came to _Madrid_, I
found pretty well confirm'd in a considerable Manner. However, taking
Notice that he had alter'd his Tone of leaving the Town, and that
instead of it, he was advancing somewhat like an Invitation of himself
to Dinner the next Day, I resolv'd to show my self shy of him; and
thereupon abruptly, and without taking any Leave, I left the Room, and
my Landlady and him together.

Three or four Days had passed, every one of which, he never fail'd my
Lodgings; not at Dinner Time only, but Night and Morning too; from all
which I began to suspect, that instead of my Conversion, he had fix'd
upon a Re-conversion of my Landlady. She was not young, yet, for a black
Woman, handsom enough; and her Daughter very pretty: I entered into a
Resolution to make my Observations, and watch them all at a Distance;
nevertheless carefully concealing my Jealousy. However, I must confess,
I was not a little pleas'd, that any Thing could divert my own
Persecution. He was now no longer my Guest, but my Landlady's, with whom
I found him so much taken up, that a little Care might frustrate all his
former impertinent Importunities on the old Topick.

But all my Suspicions were very soon after turn'd into Certainties, in
this Manner: I had been abroad, and returning somewhat weary, I went to
my Chamber, to take, what in that Country they call, a _Cesto_, upon my
Bed: I got in unseen, or without seeing any Body, but had scarce laid my
self down, before my young Landlady, as I jestingly us'd to call the
Daughter, rushing into my Room, threw her self down on the Floor,
bitterly exclaiming. I started off my Bed, and immediately running to
the Door, who should I meet there but my _Irish Clerico_, without his
Habit, and in his Shirt? I could not doubt, by _the Dishabille_ of the
_Clerico_, but the young Creature had Reason enough for her Passion,
which render'd me quite unable to master mine; wherefore as he stood
with his Back next the Door, I thrust him in that ghostly Plight into
the open Street.

I might, with leisure enough, have repented that precipitate Piece of
Indiscretion; if it had not been for his bad Character, and the
favourable Opinion the Town had conceived of me; for he inordinately
exclaim'd against me, calling me Heretick, and telling the People, who
were soon gathered round him, that coming to my Lodgings on the
charitable work of Conversion, I had thus abus'd him, stript him of his
Habit, and then turn'd him out of Doors. The Nuns, on their hearing the
Outcries he made, came running to their Grates, to enquire into the
Matter, and when they understood it, as he was pleas'd to relate it;
though they condemn'd my Zeal, they pity'd my Condition. Very well was
it for me, that I stood more than a little well in the good Opinion of
the Town; among the Gentry, by my frequent Conversation, and the
inferior Sort by my charitable Distributions; for nothing can be more
dangerous, or a nearer Way to violent Fate, than to insult one of the
Clergy in _Spain_, and especially, for such an one as they entitle a
Heretick.

My old Landlady (I speak in respect to her Daughter) however formerly my
seeming Friend, came in a violent Passion, and wrenching the Door out of
my Hands, opened it, and pull'd her _Clerico_ in; and so soon as she had
done this, she took his Part, and railed so bitterly at me, that I had
no Reason longer to doubt her thorough Conversion, under the full Power
of his Mission. However the young one stood her Ground, and by all her
Expressions, gave her many Inquirers Reason enough to believe, all was
not Matter of Faith that the _Clerico_ had advanced. Nevertheless,
holding it adviseable to change my Lodgings, and a Friend confirming my
Resolutions, I removed that Night.

The _Clerico_ having put on his upper Garments, was run away to the
_Corrigidor_, in a violent Fury, resolving to be early, as well knowing,
that he who tells his Story first, has the Prospect of telling it to
double Advantage. When he came there, he told that Officer a thousand
idle Stories, and in the worst Manner; repeating how I had abus'd him,
and not him only, but my poor Landlady, for taking his Part. The
_Corrigidor_ was glad to hear it all, and with an officious Ear fish'd
for a great deal more; expecting, according to Usage, at last to squeeze
a Sum of Money out of me. However he told the _Clerico_, that, as I was
a Prisoner of War, he had no direct Power over me; but if he would
immediately write to the President _Ronquillo_, at _Madrid_, he would
not fail to give his immediate Orders, according to which he would as
readily act against me.

The _Clerico_ resolv'd to pursue his old Maxim and cry out first; and so
taking the _Corrigidor's_ Advice, he wrote away to _Madrid_ directly. In
the mean Time the People in the Town, both high and low, some out of
Curiosity, some out of Friendship, pursu'd their Enquiries into the
Reality of the Facts. The old Landlady they could make little of to my
Advantage; but whenever the young one came to the Question, she always
left them with these Words in her Mouth, _El Diabolo en forma del
Clerico_, which rendring Things more than a little cloudy on the
_Clerico's_ Side, he was advis'd and press'd by his few Friends, as fast
as he could to get out of Town; Nuns, Clergy, and every Body taking
Part against him, excepting his new Convert, my old Landlady.

The Day after, as I was sitting with a Friend at my new Quarters,
_Maria_ (for that was the Name of my Landlady's Daughter) came running
in with these Words in her Mouth, _El Clerico, el Clerico, passa la
Calle_. We hasten'd to the Window, out of which we beheld the _Clerico,
Murtough Brennan_, pitifully mounted on the Back of a very poor Ass (for
they would neither let, nor lend him a Mule through all the Town) his
Legs almost rested on the Ground, for he was lusty, as his Ass was
little; and a Fellow with a large Cudgel march'd a-foot, driving his Ass
along. Never did _Sancha Pancha_, on his Embassage to _Dulcinea_, make
such a despicable, out of the way Figure, as our _Clerico_ did at this
Time. And what increas'd our Mirth was, their telling me, that our
_Clerico_, like that Squire (tho' upon his own Priest-Errantry) was
actually on his March to _Toboso_, a Place five Leagues off, famous for
the Nativity of _Dulcinea_, The Object of the Passion of that celebrated
Hero _Don Quixot_. So I will leave our _Clerico_ on his Journey to
_Murcia_, to relate the unhappy Sequel of this ridiculous Affair.

I have before said, that, by the Advice of the _Corrigidor, our Clerico_
had wrote to _Don Ronquillo_ at _Madrid_. About a Fortnight after his
Departure from _la Mancha_, I was sitting alone in my new Lodgings, when
two _Alguizils_ (Officers under the _Corrigidor_, and in the Nature of
our Bailiffs) came into my Room, but very civilly, to tell me, that they
had Orders to carry me away to Prison; but at the same Moment they
advis'd me, not to be afraid; for they had observed, that the whole Town
was concern'd at what the _Corrigidor_ and _Clerico_ had done; adding,
that it was their Opinion, that I should find so general a Friendship,
that I need not be apprehensive of any Danger. With these plausible
Speeches, though I afterwards experienced the Truth of them, I resign'd
my self, and went with them to a much closer Confinement.

I had not been there above a Day or two, before many Gentlemen of the
Place sent to me, to assure me, they were heartily afflicted at my
Confinement, and resolv'd to write in my Favour to _Madrid_; but as it
was not safe, nor the Custom in _Spain_, to visit those in my present
Circumstances, they hoped I would not take it amiss, since they were
bent to act all in their Power towards my Deliverance; concluding
however with their Advice, that I would not give one _Real of Plata_ to
the _Corrigidor_, whom they hated, but confide in their assiduous
Interposal, Don _Pedro de Ortega_ in particular, the Person that
perform'd the Part of the _Tauriro_ on Horseback, sometime before, sent
me Word, he would not fail to write to a Relation of his, of the first
Account in _Madrid_, and so represent the Affair, that I should not long
be debarr'd my old Acquaintance.

It may administer, perhaps, Matter of Wonder, that _Spaniards_,
Gentlemen of the stanchest Punctilio, should make a Scruple and execute
themselves from visiting Persons under Confinement, when, according to
all Christian Acceptation, such a Circumstance would render such a
Visit, not charitable only but generous. But though Men of vulgar
Spirits might, from the Narrowness of their Views, form such insipid
Excuses, those of these Gentlemen, I very well knew, proceeded from much
more excusable Topicks. I was committed under the Accusation of having
abus'd a sacred Person, one of the Clergy; and though, as a Prisoner of
War, I might deem my self exempt from the Power of the Inquisition; yet
how far one of that Country, visiting a Person, so accused, might be
esteemed culpable, was a consideration in that dangerous Climate, far
from deserving to be slighted. To me therefore, who well knew the
Customs of the Country, and the Temper of its Countrymen, their Excuses
were not only allowable, but acceptable also; for, without calling in
Question their Charity, I verily believ'd I might falsely confide in
their Honour.

Accordingly, after I had been a close Prisoner one Month to a Day, I
found the Benefit of these Gentlemen's Promises and Solicitations.
Pursuant to which, an Order was brought for my immediate Discharge;
notwithstanding, the new Convert, my old Landlady, did all she could to
make her appearing against me effectual, to the Height of her Prejudice
and Malice, even while the Daughter, as sensible of my Innocence, and
acting with a much better Conscience, endeavoured as much to justify me,
against both the Threats and Persuasions of the _Corrigidor_, and his
few Accomplices, though her own Mother made one.

After Receipt of this Order for my Enlargement, I was mightily press'd
by Don _Felix_, and others of my Friends, to go to _Madrid_, and enter
my Complaint against the _Corrigidor_ and the _Clerico_, as a Thing
highly essential to my own future Security. Without asking Leave
therefore of the _Corrigidor_, or in the least acquainting him with it,
I set out from _la Mancha_, and, as I afterwards understood, to the
terrible Alarm of that griping Officer; who was under the greatest
Consternation, when he heard I was gone; for as he knew very well, that
he had done more than he could justify, he was very apprehensive of any
Complaint; well knowing, that as he was hated as much as I was beloved,
he might assure himself of the Want of that Assistance from the
Gentlemen, which I had experienced.

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