Memoirs of Major Alexander Ramkins (1718) by Daniel Defoe

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It appear'd afterwards, that this _French_ Officer having been often
play'd upon by several in his Regiment, that he had been two Years among
them and never yet made any Experiment of his personal Courage, told
them at his going up to _Paris_, That they should here in a little Time
he had qualify'd himself by killing his Man. Now it is suppos'd he
thought the _British_ Nation, not being fam'd for their Skill in
handling the Sword, he had an excellent opportunity of showing his
Manhood, and the Advantage of making his escape when he had done the
Fact, because little or no Enquiry wou'd be made after a Stranger. My
Brother being convinc'd his Adversary was incapable to Rally, made haste
to gather up his Cloaths, exchanging the Evangelical Advice of _burying_
the dead, to that natural Precept of _Self-preservation_, and I must
leave him pursuing his Journey towards _Brest_, to return to his
Lodgings, and give an account how this Catastrophe came to affect me at
my coming to _Paris_.

The young Lady who was the Innocent occasion of this unfortunate
Accident, took little Rest after she was inform'd of the Contents of the
Note left by her Kinsman, and her Concern grew upon her when she
understood Captain _Ramkins_ was out of his Lodgings all Night; thus she
remain'd under great Inquietudes till Three a Clock the next Day, when
she, with her Landlady and Daughter, took a Coach privately and drove
directly to the Place where the Gentlemen were to meet according to the
Contents of the Letter. They discharg'd their Coach upon a pretence of
taking a Walk in the Fields, and after a small Tour the Landlady's
Daughter put her Foot into a Cake of clotted Blood, but it was so
chang'd, as to the Colour, that she could not well distinguish what it
was, but at a little distance finding a Glove, and several Blades of
Grass ting'd with a Vermillion Dye, being press'd down and ruffled as it
were with some Cattle weltring and tumbling about. They had a strong
Suspicion one of the Gentlemen had ended his Days upon the Spot, and to
clear their Suspicion, they walk'd back into the City till they arrived
at the _Petite Chastelet_, which is a publick Room in the Nature of a
Guard Bed, where all Corps are expos'd to view and whither People
usually go in quest of any of their Friends, or Acquaintance that are
wanting. And here the young Gentlewoman was quickly satisfy'd that her
Cousin's Rashness had brought him to his End. This Accident happening
not long before I came to _Paris_, the Discourse of it was very fresh,
and what occasion'd me to have an account of it at my first Arrival, was
my Lodging at the same House with my Brother, it being the usual
Lodgings for _English_ and _Scotch_. 'Tis true that Landlady and her
Daughter where remov'd to _Orleans_, where they had an _Estate_
belonging to their Family, but the young Lady, Cousin to the deceas'd
Officer, was still in her old Apartment. I had not been above three
Days, but my Name began to be known as well by the Direction of some
Letters I receiv'd out of _Germany_, as by other means there are of
having such Things divulg'd. The young Lady was not so struck with the
Horror of the Name of her Cousins Murtherer, as not to have the
Curiosity to peep at me as I came in and out of my Lodgings, and the
more, because I had so great a Resemblance to him both as to Figure and
Features, that without any extraordinary Skill in Physiognomy, she might
conclude I was either his Brother or some near Relation. Now whether my
Brother's Cavaliers Carriage had left an Idea in the Lady's Head which
she could not conveniently part with, or her Inquisitiveness after me
was only a Female Curiosity, I am not able to determine, but it was very
unfortunate to me to have been so near a Kin to one she admired in case
it was so, or that her Inquisitiveness should make me so publick; for I
had not been in _Paris_ above Eight Days, but the Archers or City Guards
took me out of my Bed at Four a Clock in the Morning, and carried me to
Prison upon strong Suspicion of being that very Captain _Ramkins_ who
had kill'd the _French_ Officer in a Duel. Captain _Ramkins_ I certainly
was call'd at my own Request, having taken that Travelling Name as all
Independent Gentlemen do, who cannot tell well what Title to give
themselves upon the Road. My case had no very good Aspect at the
beginning. There were so many Circumstances to render me suspected, that
though I was satisfy'd my Life was not in Danger, yet it was an easy
Thing to perceive it wou'd be both a troublesome, and also a chargeable
Spot of Work. The first Thing I did was to send for my Brother-in-law,
whom I employ'd as my Solicitor, to lay a true Narration of the Fact
before the King's Attorney. My Counsel advis'd me to _Subpoena_ the
young Lady, who wou'd be a material Witness that I was not the Captain
_Ramkins_ chargeable with the Fact, which she seem'd willingly to
acquiesce to; but some of the deceased Friends endeavour'd to invalidate
her _Affidavit_, upon a pretence, that there was too great an Intimacy
between her and Captain _Ramkins_. However, to put the Contest upon an
Issue which would allow of no Reply, I procured the Testimonies of
several Officers in the Army, that I was actually upon the _Rhine_ when
the Duel was fought at _Paris_, besides the corroborating Evidence of
several _Irish_ Gentlemen who liv'd in _Paris_ and at _St. Germains_,
who were ready to offer their Oaths I was not the Man. 'Tis incredible
to think what Pains the deceas'd Gentleman's Relations took to destroy
me, though I have the Charity to think they judg'd I was the Person they
sought after, though it is somewhat unintelligible they wou'd not Credit
the young Lady their Cousin. This Affair help'd me off with the greatest
Part of my ready Money, for 'tis a Blessing which attends all Law-Suits,
that the Gainer is oblig'd to refund to the Lawyers what he recovers
from his Adversary, and for my part, I pay'd pretty dear for an
Authentick Copy of my Innocence; and the Carriage of the Court to me was
such, as if I had been particularly favour'd in not being hang'd instead
of my Brother.

After this troublesome Business was over, I began to enjoy my self a
little in the Diversions of _Paris_; and by the Assistance of my
Brother-in-law, I had a good Guide in him to view several of the
Curiosities that City abounds with, though I cannot say I took any
extraordinary relish that way, for my Thoughts being chiefly upon War, I
digested other Matters as a nice Appetite does improper Food. It was my
Intention to go over to _Ireland_, and to made that undertaking less
chargeable to me, I endeavour'd to procure a Commission, which was no
difficult matter at that Time, especially to one who was provided with a
little Money to facilitate the Grant. I did not stick much upon the
Nature of the Commission, for my Years, and small Experience could make
no very extraordinary Demands; so I was Registred as a Lieutenant, which
I, according to the usual Custom, upon receival dexterously improv'd
into Captain. Indeed I had very lofty Expectations, and the Affairs of
King _James_ went so well at that time in _Ireland_, that there was not
a Footman who follow'd that Prince, but look'd upon his Fortune as made.

These Considerations put me and some others upon a Project of
transporting our selves to the _North_ of _England_, where King _James_
had a very strong Party, and we were inform'd that immediately upon the
Reduction of _Ireland_, as before, the whole Strength of his Army wou'd
power in upon _England_ that way. A Day was fix'd to put my Design in
Execution, but falling into Discourse a little after with a Person of
Experience, he intimated that the Business wou'd not be so near over in
_Ireland_ as I imagin'd; for I can assure you, says he, Three Expresses
have arrived lately at _Versailles_, to solicit the _French_ Court for
Cannon and Ammunition, without which it wou'd be impossible for King
_James's_ Forces to become Masters in _Ireland_, but that the _French_
were so dilatory in this Affair upon some Politick Views, that it was
great Odds that Nation wou'd be quickly recover'd by King _William_'s
Forces. This was a misterious Insinuation to one of my small Experience,
for my shallow Brain told me, Expedition was the Business of War;
whereas I found afterwards it was the Interest of _France_ to spin on
the _Irish_ War, and to order Things so, that King _William_ should
always have an Army employ'd there; for they look'd upon it as a
Chimerical Notion, that the War could be carry'd on into _England_, or
that an _Irish_ Army was capable to reduce _England_; for _France_ knew
very well their own Designs of not intending to send any _French_ Troops
to joyn them in _England_.

I own I never entirely forgot the Reflexion that Gentleman made upon the
present Posture of Affairs; but yet I cannot say I assented to his
Opinion, however, it wrought so much upon me as to alter my Resolutions
of going directly into the _North_ of _England_; for I govern'd my self
by this Dilemma, that in Case _Ireland_ was not reduc'd till I came
there, I might have the Opportunity of having a share in the Reduction,
but if it was, the Passage between the _North_ of _Ireland_ and
_England_ was very short. Upon this Bottom I began my Journey, I took
Shipping at _Brest_ and landed at _Cork_, pursuing the rest of my
Journey by Land, upon account of the Danger I was inform'd of in going
by Sea; for that several _English_ Men of War guarded the narrow Seas
between _Dublin_ and _Holy-head_. When I came into King _James_'s Army,
my first Enquiry was after my Brother, whom you may be sure I
entertain'd in the first place with the Consequence of his Duel at
_Paris_; and though he often sigh'd to reflect upon his Misfortune in
being the occasion of the _French_ Officer's Death, which might have
been honourably avoided; yet he laugh'd plentifully, when he heard the
Part I had afterwards in that Melancholy Farce; and rally'd me home when
I insisted upon Charges and desired to be reimburs'd with Sixty _Louis
d'Ors_, which that Affair had cost me upon his Account; all the
Satisfaction I could get was, that he thought I put a greater Value upon
my being his Brother, than to think it over-rated at that trifling Sum:
The Life of a Brother, said he, is the only thing that can answer for a
Brotherly Affection.

The Scene of Affairs in _Ireland_ was very much alter'd upon raising the
Siege of _London-derry_; Men and Arms were imported from _England_ on
all Sides to make Head against King _James_, and several bloody
Skirmishes happen'd in several Parts of the Kingdom. It wou'd make a
Volume to account the Marches and Counter-marches both Parties made in
that irregular Country to attack and avoid one another. But where ever
it was my Lot to engage, the general Complaint was a want of Money,
Ammunition and Arms; this (as it cou'd not be otherwise) made us
unsuccessful under many promising Advantages. We had Men enough, and
those not destitute of Zeal or Courage; but to expose themselves Naked
against Arms and Discipline, was a desperate way of Engaging. But
_France_ still went upon the old Politick Scheme to gain Advantages upon
the Continent by dilatory Proceedings in King _James_'s Affairs; for
unless this was their Prospect, was it not a supine Piece of Management
to suffer a Body of near Thirty Thousand brave Men to lie unarm'd in the
Field above half a Year, when _France_ had Magazines and Stores to
furnish above a Million of Soldiers? But as King _James_ was not only to
be the _Dupe_ of their great Monarch, but the Sport and Game of his
Ministers, besides a general Topick of refusing him an Assistance upon
the Politick Motive of prolonging the War. It seems the Chief Minister
of State had some private Ends in these dilatory Proceedings, and King
_James_'s Cause in _Ireland_ was also to be sacrific'd to this
Gentleman's Resentments. The Case was this, _Lewis_ XIV upon great
Importunity, and to put a Gloss upon, and lay deep Colours upon his
Politicks, condescended so far, as to order five or six Thousand
despicable Foot Soldiers for King _James_'s Service in _Ireland_, with a
General at their Head, who had been more accustom'd to lead up a Country
Dance than an Army, and better qualify'd to break a Jest than look in
upon an Enemy. This General, however, was according to King _James_'s
own liking, though contrary to the Chief Minister's Design, who wanted
that Post for a Relation of his own. This undesign'd Affront of King
_James_ in preferring _C.L._ to the Minister's Favourite, lost the
Battle of the _Boyne_, and perhaps all _Ireland_; for the Chief Minister
would neither send Arms nor Money to supply that brave Body of Men, but
threw them into the Circumstances of either dying unreveng'd, or saving
their Lives by Flight. The History of that Battle has so many Eye
Witnesses still alive for me to dwell upon it; I shall only make bold to
relate what my Fate was upon that unfortunate Day, and how inglorious
_France_ withdrew the sham Succours they sent _King_ James. My Post was
to Head a Company of _Fingalian_ Granadiers, who were plac'd in an
Orchard which hung over a Defilee, through which we expected the Enemy
would march after they had pass'd the River. I make bold to stile my
Company Granadiers, because they were design'd to be so when first
rais'd, but were now arm'd rather like Pioneers than Grenadiers; we had
not above a dozen Granadoes, no Bayonets, and several without any
Fire-arms; and if the Chief Men of the Action were no better equipp'd,
'tis easy to guess how the Gross of the Army was provided. According to
our Expectation, a Party of the Enemy fell into the Trap, and what Shot
we had, we let it successively fly at them out of the Orchard; in the
mean time, we heard a great Noise behind us, and turning my self about,
I saw the Orchard almost surrounded with Horse, which I expected were
some of our own Party coming up to support us, but found them to be a
Squadron of the Enemy, who immediately summon'd us to yield, or we must
expect the last Fate of War. There was no time to Parley, upon which I
made a Sign to the Commanding Officer of the Enemy not to proceed to
Slaughter, and so out of Twenty Two Men with which I defended that Post,
Nine of us fell into the Enemies Hands, the rest dying bravely in the
Engagement. Our Entertaintment was what is usually with Prisoners of
War, Hunger and hard Lodgings, but in a little Time being remov'd to
_Dublin_, Things were better with me; I had the Liberty of a large
Prison and civil Usage. And here it was I met with an excellent Friend,
who never fail'd those who make Application to him, I mean a small Bank
of Money which my Brother left me, and which I had sent to _Dublin per_
Bill from _Newry_, that I might run no hazard of being plunder'd in case
of a Defeat, and in this I have often applauded my own Caution, that
though I have frequently hazarded my Life, I never risqu'd my Substance;
if Death happen'd, I was certain of being provided for; and if
Imprisonment, I had what wou'd make my Captivity easy, and perhaps,
purchase my Enlargement.

'Tis not a being in a Battle that makes a Person a capable Judge how to
describe it; every Officer has his Post which he must not depart from,
and though he may be able to describe the Situation of the Troops before
an Engagement, yet afterwards during the Fight, there is so much Noise,
Smoak and Confusion, that for my part, I scarce can give a true
Narration of what happen'd within a dozen Yards compass. Upon this
Account, I cannot tell in what manner the _French_ Troops behav'd
themselves, but I was inform'd they made a tollerable Stand against King
_William_'s Army, but that they quickly chang'd it into a running Fight,
and very dexterously convey'd both King _James_ and themselves out of
Danger, and in a little time out of the Kingdom, directing their March
to the next Seaport Town, which was not in the Enemies Hands, from
whence they found their way Home. If these Troops were serviceable at
the _Boyne_, they certainly might have been much more useful, if they
had remain'd and assisted the _Irish_ the remainder of the War; but they
had shown themselves, and that was enough to answer the politick Ends
for which they were sent. 'Tis suppos'd after this Defeat at the
_Boyne_, that King _James_ was aware of the _French_ Politics, and so
would ne'er think of returning in Person again into _Ireland_, it being
abundantly sufficient if he left two or three active Generals among 'em
to Alarm the Enemy and do the Drudgery of the _French_ Court, in making
a Diversion to favour his Conquests in other Parts of the World. But to
return to the Series of my own Story, I had now obtain'd Liberty of the
City of _Dublin_ upon Paroll, and spent my Life pretty agreeable,
especially when I understood that a kind of a Cartel was fix'd, and
there was no Danger of a Halter. My long stay in _Dublin_ brought me
acquainted with several General Officers of King _William_'s Army, who
were my Countrymen and well acquainted with my Family. The great Respect
they showed me, was, as I perceiv'd at long run, in order to debauch me
from King _James_'s Service; but it was not in my power at that time, to
remove the Scruples I was entangled in as to the Revolution; besides I
had other Motives urgent enough not to engage in the _English_ Service,
till I had seen a little more Abroad. But in the midst of all the
Disasters I met with, nothing affected me with a more sensible Grief
than the Thoughts of _Lewis_ the XIVth's Insincerity, for though it only
rid my Mind in the Nature of a Scruple or first Impression, yet I found
it grow daily more and more upon me, and often in the height of my
Diversions it lay upon my Stomach like an indigested Meal; yet at the
same time I durst not mutter the least of this Matter to the greatest
Confident I had in the World; for I was sensible what would be the
Consequence of such a Liberty of Speech, and that nothing less than
perpetual Imprisonment in the _Bastile_ must have atton'd for the Crime,
and that King _James_ wou'd have look'd upon himself as oblig'd to have
justify'd the Conduct of _France_, though perhaps he lay under the same
Jealousies with myself in regard of _French_ Politics. How often have I,
when I have been alone, exaggerated my Folly in engaging in a Cause,
which the principal Agent never design'd to bring to an Issue? but then
again I have corrected my self for giving way to a false Impression, and
condemning the Conduct of so many Thousands who had more Experience than
I could lay claim to, and yet willingly went all the Lengths of the
_French_ Court. Now as I always had a great Respect for Men of Years and
Experience, so I was resolv'd to silence all the Scruples relating to
_French_ Politicks, and see an end of the _Irish_ War, not so much under
the Influence of a _French_ Power (which never did any real Service to
King _James_ in _Ireland_) but because so many worthy Gentlemen eagerly
pursue the Cause, whom I had Reason to think were better Judges of such
high Matters than my self. And what in the next place I was to
undertake, was how to be releas'd from my Confinement, in which I cou'd
find no Difficulty besides a breach of Paroll, my Person being every Day
at Liberty, but understanding that several Persons in the same
Circumstances with my self, were partly conniv'd at when they made their
Escape. I took the same Method, and rather chose to walk off, than wait
to be exchang'd, or Bribe for my Enlargement. Perhaps the Reader will
expect here to be entertain'd with the remaining Part of the _Irish_
War, especially where I was employ'd; but he must be content to be
inform'd in General, That as I made it a Law with my self ne'er to omit
any Occasion of improving my self in the Art of War, so I took
particular care not to be upon any Foreign Duty in the Day of Action. I
was wounded at the Battle of _Aghram_, where I had one of my Legs broke,
and lost two Fingers with the cut of a Sabre. I was at the first Siege
of _Limerick_, and help'd to surprize the Enemy's flying Camp and
Provisions they were carrying to supply the main Army that was carrying
on the Siege. Afterwards I entred the Town, and remain'd there during
the Siege, having the Liberty to pass over into _France_ with the rest
of the _Irish_ Troops upon the Articles of _Limerick_; but there was one
remarkable Passage happen'd to me during the Siege of that Town, which I
cannot dispense with my self to pass over in Silence; it was rather a
casual Matter, than a Design laid, however it equally answer'd the end.
At one of the Sallies, in which we design'd to overthrow a Mount they
had made to raise a Battery upon, after a smart Engagement, it being in
the Night, I had the opportunity to step aside and strip a _Dutch_
Granadier, and immediately putting on his Cloaths I mingled my self with
the Enemy's Battalions as they drew back towards their Camp, thus
unperceiv'd I had the opportunity the next Morning to view their Works
and make my Remarks. But now I was somewhat at a loss how to make a hand
of this Stratagem and get back into the Town, nor was I less concern'd
how to avoid being discover'd as not belonging to the Enemy; but the
Confusion they were in the next Day in burying their Dead and repairing
their Works, made me pass undiscover'd till Night, so about Nine at
Night when it was throughly dark, I stole to that Side of the Town which
lies next to the Sea, and swimming over undiscover'd, I crept under the
Wall, and calling softly upon the next Centinel, I inform'd him who I
was, bidding him call to the Captain of the next Guard, and bring a Rope
and two or three Soldiers to hall me up. I was very welcome to the
Garrison, for 'twas suppos'd, I was either kill'd or taken Prisoner in
the Sally. This Stratagem, though I had no Design in it at our attacking
the Enemy, it being only a sudden Thought, yet it had a very good Event;
for the next Sally we made, as I had observ'd, the weakest Part of the
Besiegers Works, so I lead a Party of Resolute Men that way, who lost no
Time, but levell'd all their Works, and dragg'd a considerable Booty
into the Town.

The Wars of _Ireland_ being at an End, and the Articles of _Limerick_
Sign'd, about 15000 regular Troops were Transported into _France_,
besides several Thousands of others, who all proved as useful to the
Monarch of _France_ in his Wars in _Italy, Spain, Germany, &c._ as they
had been in making a Three Years Diversion in _Ireland_, so happy was
_France_ in making a Politick use of King _James's_ Misfortune, that
_Lewis_ XIV was much a greater Gainer by his being Banish'd, than if he
had remain'd in the quiet Possession of his Throne. And now there were
several Speculations, what Method the _French_ King wou'd take to make
the World believe he had a Design to reinstall King _James_. The most
direct Means was to attempt a Descent, but this was impracticable by the
way of _Ireland_; for if an Army of 30000 Men cou'd not keep it when
they were actually in Possession of it, there was no likelyhood of their
succeeding in a Descent, nor was it probable, that _France_ would add
more Force to them who had so often refus'd them when they were in
Circumstances to receive. The most favourable Interpreters of the
_French_ King's Politicks, began now to think he had laid all Thoughts
of a Restoration aside. King _James_'s Troops were employ'd and
scatter'd where they were useless upon that Design, and his Court was
modell'd, as if nothing more should be attempted. However it was thought
convenient still to carry the Juggle on, and several Methods were made
use of to seduce the poor Jacobites in _England_ and _St. Germains_,
that their Work was still going on. Great Respect was shown to the Court
of _St. Germains_ by his Most Christian Majesty, with repeated
Assurances to stand by them: In the mean time I was permitted to leave
the Army, and solace my self for two or three Months at _Paris_, where,
by the Assistance of my old Friend ready Money, I made my self very
acceptable. It was my Happiness hitherto never to be engaged in an
Intrigue with the Fair Sex; for though several of my Station have
diverted themselves that way with much prejudice to their Business, yet
I was always so bent upon War, that I cou'd never find spare Hours for
such trifling Conversation, for that was the Notion I had of it. A
general Whining and Pining away for a Trolloping Girl, was to me a very
awker'd and inconsistent Piece of Pageantry; however, I had been often
told by Persons of Experience, that no Man had so just an Idea of the
World, as he that had been well hamper'd and sower'd by a Love Intrigue;
for though Women appear to be only Spectators, and to bear no Sway in
the Politicks of the World, yet underhand, the Fate of Kingdoms often
hung at their Girdles, and the wisest of Princes often hazarded the
Repose of his People for an Hours Dalliance with some Coquet and
diverting Creature of the fair Sex. I cannot tell well how it happen'd,
but I suppose by not resisting the first impressions of this kind, I
found my self far gone in an Intrigue, and that without either Thought
or Design; but I understood afterwards that a Breach of Idleness being
espy'd in my Conduct, the Roving Deity seiz'd the Advantage and enter'd
Sword in Hand. The Gentlewoman who drew me into this Snare, was no
otherwise my Acquaintance than by an accidental Visit; but I was so much
a Philosopher, as to know that where there is a Sympathy of Humours, all
other Considerations are neglected, and a _Turk_ with those Advantages,
is as capable to make a Conquest as a _Christian_. I had at my first
entrance upon the Stage of the World made a double Promise to my self,
the one was never to hearken to a Love Affair till I had acquired a
Stock of Experience, and Money to make that Passion Serviceable and of
real Use in an honourable Way; the other was not to graft upon a Foreign
Stock; but I was forc'd to humble my self under a violation of both
these Purposes; for the Object of my Passion was a _Spanish_ young Lady
though of _Irish_ Extraction, her Family Transporting themselves
thither about the middle of Queen _Elizabeth_'s Reign. Now I had two or
three Difficulties to struggle with relating to this Affair: in the
first place, I had not as yet imparted the Secret to the young Lady;
again, my Brother's Example gave me grounds to think I cou'd not avoid a
Quarrel with some of her Relations; but what chiefly frighted me, was
the Plague of Wedding, in case we were both of a Mind, for a keen Hound
is not easily call'd off from a hot Scent, till he has either caught or
lost his Game. In the midst of these Perplexities, I judg'd 'twou'd be a
wise Part to disclose my self to some Persons of Experience in these
Matters; for in all the Skirmishes and Sieges I had been at, they never
threw me into such a Consternation and Absence of Thought; and
accordingly I met with an old Adept in these Affairs. When he heard my
Case, after two or three Turns he approach'd me with the serious Air of
a Physician, and I thinking he had Design to feel my Pulse, I offer'd
him my Hand, which he only shook very gently, saying, Young Man, all the
Comfort I can give you is, that you must buy your Knowledge by
Experience as I and many others have done before you. All Advice is lost
upon a Person in Love. Should I advice you to quit the Enterprize, I
know you would not do it. A Halter or an _East-India_ Voyage may do you
Service in Case you are refused. In a Word, whatever I advised you to
you will certainly do the contrary; However, that you may be said to
have lost your Time in coming hither, hasten to the young Lady, tell her
in a Franck Cavalier way how Things are with you; give all the vent you
can to your Passion; if it blows over, you will be a wary Man hereafter,
if it ends in Wedlock, any Body will inform you of the Consequences.
While the old Gentleman was entertaining me with this Lesson, my Head
grew so dizy, as if some invisible Hand had turn'd it round like a Gigg,
so I left him abruptly, and went directly to my Lodgings to Bed, but to
this Day I cannot tell, whether I went a Foot or in a Coach my Head was
in such a Confusion. The next Morning finding my ideas better rang'd, I
propos'd to seize the first Opportunity to let the Lady understand the
Difficulties I struggled under upon her Account; but the Nature of our
Visits was such, that I cou'd not do it any otherwise than by Letter:
Thus when I had once broke the Ice, and that too with a fair Prospect
of making Advances, in the next Place I gain'd the Maid by the usual
Methods that such Creatures are render'd Obsequious, and under her
Conduct methoughts I sail'd prosperously on without the least Rub to my
suppos'd Happiness; 'tis true I was at a constant Charge of Presents,
Treats, and now and then a Serenade according to the _Spanish_ Customs.
But I remember at one of these Midnight Scenes of Gallantry, I saw
something that gave me a great deal of Uneasiness; drawing up my Musick
under the Lady's Window, besides her Face, which was at the Casement
wide open, I saw the Reflexion of a Periwig move towards the Corner of
the Window; this made me vehemently suspect somebody had a better place
in her Affections than my self, for there was no Male kind belonging to
the Family, her Father and Brother, as she told me at other Times, being
in _Spain_, to take care of some Effects they expected by the Flota from
the _West Indies_. However, I endeavour'd to smother this Impression of
Jealousy, attributing the Mistake to the Circumstances of Night, Candle
Light, or some other false Medium that might ground it, so I was
resolv'd to take no notice of it at my next Visit. But it was not long
before I met with another Occasion of Jealousy, which cou'd not so
easily be banish'd out of my Head. Sitting in the Chocolate House, a
young Gentleman was giving himself Airs with a Snuff-box, which to my
Eye (and it was my Interest to observe it very narrowly) appear'd to be
the very same I had some time before presented the Lady with, and as an
aggravating Circumstance, in taking Notice of the Gentleman's Periwig,
it had the same Form with the Reflexion I saw up in the Lady's Chamber
Window, _vid_. a flat Top, neither rais'd nor parted in the Middle,
which spoke it to be a Piece of _English_ Furniture. The Sight of the
snuff-box drew all my Blood into my Heart, and left my pale Cheeks to
account for the Consternation, wherefore not able to contain my self had
I kept my Ground, I flung out of the Chocolate House, not unobserv'd by
the Company to be in some Disorder; but when they look'd out of the
Window and saw me stand gazing in the middle of the Street, (for my
Motion thither was purely Animal, having no thought whither I was going)
it encreas'd their Surprise. However, at three Steps I was got again
into the Chocolate House, and with a galliard Air, addressing my self
to the Gentleman with the Snuff box, _Sir_, said I, _I confirm the Gift,
and may all sniffling Fools that are in Love be serv'd like me_. I
allow'd no Time for a Reply, but bolting again into the Street, it came
into my Head that perhaps two Snuff-boxes might be so much alike, as not
to observe the difference without confronting 'em. This Thought gave me
a Curiosity to step into a Toyshop, where I desired to have a Sight of
the newest fashion'd Snuff-boxes, and when among others, I saw above
half a Dozen exactly like that I had made the Lady a Present of, a
Secret Confusion spread it self over my Soul to have given way to such
Suspicions. The Matyrdom accustom'd by such like Thoughts as these being
the usual Entertainment of Persons in my Condition, and I having read in
several Moralists, _That there can be no true Love without a Mixture of
Jealousy, which two rose proportionably, and that Jealousy was the
greatest Plague of Human Life_. These Considerations, I say, made me
Struggle hard to throw off the Tyranny I groan'd under, and it happen'd
very luckily for me that within a few Days after the young Lady was sent
for into _Spain_, so that I had in Election either to throw up all my
Expectations in _France_, and follow her, or Moralize a Week or two;
upon the Disappointment, and so recover my self again to my Senses,
which I quickly did by spending my Time in a Treatise of Algebra and
Fortifications. As for the Lady she parted without any Reluctance, and
it mortify'd me sensibly, that what I had made a Study and Business of,
was only her Diversion and Amusement; but I kept my Resolution never
more to divert my self that way, till I was effectually tramell'd.

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