The Man Of The World (1792) by Charles Macklin

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_Sir Per._ It is--it is.--Bid Constantia pack out of the house this
instant--and let them get a chaise ready to carry her wherever she
pleases.--But first send my wife and son hither.

_Bet._ I shall, sir.

_Sir Per._ Do so--begone. [_Exit_ Betty.] Aha! Maister Charles,--I believe
I shall cure you of your passion for a beggar now.--I think he cannot be
so infatuated as to be a dupe till a strumpet.--Let me see--how am I to
act now?--Why, like a true politician, I must pretend most sincerity
where I intend most deceit.

_Enter_ EGERTON, _and Lady_ MACSYCOPHANT.

Weel, Charles, notwithstanding the misery you have brought upon me,--I
have sent for you and your mother in order to convince you both of my
affection and my readiness to forgive,--nay, and even to indulge your
perverse passion:--for, since I find this Constantia has got hold of your
heart, and that your mother and you think that you can never be happy
without her, why, I'll nai longer oppose your inclinations.

_Eger._ Dear sir, you snatch me from sharpest misery;--on my knees let my
heart thank you for this goodness.

_Lady Mac._ Let me express my thanks too,--and my joy;--for had you not
consented to his marrying her, we all should have been miserable.

_Sir Per._ Weel; I am glad I have found a way to please you both at
last.--But, my dear Charles, suppose now that this spotless vestal,--this
wonder of virtue,--this idol of your heart--shou'd be a concealed wanton
after aw,--or shou'd have an engagement of marriage or an intrigue with
another man,--and is only making a dupe of you aw this time:--I say, only
suppose it, Charles--what wou'd you think of her?

_Eger._ I should think her the most deceitful, and the most subtle of her
sex, and, if possible, would never think of her again.

_Sir Per._ Will you give me your honour of that?

_Eger._ Most solemnly, sir.

_Sir Per._ Enough.--I am satisfied,--You make me young again.--Your
prudence has brought tears of joy fra my very vitals.--I was afraid you
were fascinated with the charms of a crack.--Do you ken this hand?

_Eger._ Mighty well, sir.

_Sir Per._ And you, madam.

_Lady Mac._ As well as I do my own, sir.--It is Constantia's.

_Sir Per._ It is so; and a better evidence it is than any that can be
given by the human tongue. Here is a warm, rapturous, lascivious letter
under the hypocritical syren's ain hand--her ain hand, sir.

_Eger._ Pray, sir, let us hear it.

_Sir Per._ Ay, ay;--here--take and read it yourself.--Eloisa never writ a
warmer nor a ranker to her Abelard--but judge yourselves.

_Eger._ [_Reads._] 'I have only time to tell you, that the family came
down sooner than I expected, and that I cannot bless my eyes with the
sight of you till the evening.--The notes, and jewels, which the bearer
of this will deliver to you, were presented to me, since I saw you, by the
son of my benefactor'--

_Sir Per._ [_Interrupts him by his remarks._] Now mark.

_Eger._ [_Reads._] 'All which I beg you will convert to your immediate
use'--

_Sir Per._ Mark, I say.

_Eger._ [_Reads._] 'For my heart has no room for any wish or fortune,
but what contributes to your relief and happiness'--

_Sir Per._ Oh! Charles, Charles, do you see, sir, what a dupe she makes
of you? But mark what follows.

_Eger._ [_Reads._] 'O! how I long to throw myself into your dear, dear
arms; to sooth your fears, your apprehensions, and your sorrows'--

_Sir Per._ I suppose the spark has heard of your offering to marry her,
and is jealous of you.

_Eger._ Sir, I can only say I am astonished.

_Lady Mac._ It is incredible.

_Sir Per._ Stay, stay, read it out--read it out, pray: ah! she is a subtle
devil.

_Eger._ [_Reads._] 'I have something to tell you of the utmost moment,
but will reserve it till we meet this evening in the dark walk'--

_Sir Per._ In the dark walk--in the dark walk--ah! an evil-eyed curse
upon her! yes, yes! she has been often in the dark walk, I believe:--But,
read on.

_Eger._ [_Reads._] 'In the mean time banish all fears, and hope the
best from fortune, and your ever dutiful CONSTANTIA HARRINGTON.'

_Sir Per._ There--there's a warm epistle for you! in short, the hussy,
you must know, is married till the fellow.

_Eger._ Not unlikely, sir.

_Lady Mac._ Indeed, by her letter, I believe she is.

_Sir Per._ Nay, I know she is: but look at the hand--peruse it--convince
yourselves.

_Eger._ Yes, yes, it is her hand; I know it well, sir.

_Sir Per._ Madam, will you look at it? perhaps it may be forged.

_Lady Mac._ No, sir, it is no forgery.--Well! after this, I think I shall
never trust human nature.

_Sir Per._ Now, madam, what amends can you make me for countenancing your
son's passion for sic a strumpet? And you, sir, what have you to say for
your disobedience and your frenzy? O! Charles, Charles--

_Eger._ Pray, sir, be patient; compose yourself a moment: I will make you
any compensation in my power.

_Sir Per._ Then instantly sign the articles of marriage.

_Eger._ The lady, sir, has never yet been consulted; and I have some
reason to believe that her heart is engaged to another man.

_Sir Per._ Sir, that is nai business of yours.--I know she will consent
and that's aw we are to consider.--O! here comes my lord.

_Enter Lord_ LUMBERCOURT.

_Lord Lum._ Sir Pertinax, ever thing is ready, and the lawyers wait for
us.

_Sir Per._ We attend your lordship. Where is Lady Rodolpha?

_Lord Lum._ Giving some female consolation to poor Constantia.--Why,
my lady, ha, ha, ha! I hear your vestal has been flirting.

_Sir Per._ Yes, yes, my lord, she is in vary guid order for any man
that wants a wife and an heir till his estate intill the bargain.

_Enter_ SAM.

_Sam._ Sir, there is a man below that wants to speak to your honour
upon particular business.

_Sir Per._ Sir, I cannot speak till any body now--he must come another
time;--hand--stay--what--is he a gentleman?

_Sam._ He looks something like one, sir--a sort of a gentleman--but
he seems to be in a kind of a passion, for when I asked his name, he
answered hastily, it is no matter, friend,--go, tell your master there is
a gentleman here that _must_ speak to him directly.

_Sir Per._ Must! ha? vary peremptory indeed; pr'ythee, let's see him
for curiosity sake. [_Exit_ Sam.

_Enter Lady_ RODOLPHA.

_Lady Rod._ O! my Lady Macsycophant, I am come an humble advocate
for a weeping piece of female frailty, wha begs she may be permitted
to speak till your ladyship, before you finally reprobate her.

_Sir Per._ I beg your pardon, Lady Rodolpha, but it must not be:
see her she shall not.

_Lady Mac._ Nay, there can be no harm, my dear, in hearing what she has to
say for herself.

_Sir Per._ I tell you, it shall not be.

_Lady Mac._ Well, my dear, I have done.

_Enter_ SAM _and_ MELVILLE.

_Sam._ Sir, that is my master.

_Sir Per._ Weel, sir, what is your urgent business with me?

_Mel._ To shun disgrace, and punish baseness.

_Sir Per._ Punish baseness! what does the fellow mean? Wha are you, sir?

_Mel._ A man, sir--and one, whose fortune once bore as proud a sway as any
within this county's limits.

_Lord Lum._ You seem to be a soldier, sir.

_Mel._ I was, sir; and have the soldier's certificate to prove my
service--rags and scars. In my heart, for ten long years in India's
parching clime I bore my country's cause; and in noblest dangers sustained
it with my sword: at length ungrateful peace has laid me down where
welcome war first took me up,--in poverty, and the dread of cruel
creditors.--Paternal affection brought me to my native land, in quest of
an only child:--I found her, as I thought, amiable as parental fondness
could desire; but lust and foul seduction have snatched her from me,
and hither am I come, fraught with a father's anger, and a soldier's
honour, to seek the seducer and glut revenge.

_Lady Mac._ Pray, sir, who is your daughter?

_Mel._ I blush to own her--but--Constantia.

_Eger._ Is Constantia your daughter, sir?

_Mel._ She is; and was the only comfort that nature, fortune, or my own
extravagance had left me.

_Sir Per._ Guid traith, then, I fancy you will find but vary little
comfort fra her, for she is nai better than she shou'd be.--She has had
nai damage in this mansion. I am told she is with bairn, but you may gang
till Hadley, till one farmer Hodges's, and there you may learn the whole
story, and wha the father of the bairn is, fra a cheeld they call
Melville.

_Mel._ Melville!

_Sir Per._ Yes, sir, Melville.

_Mel._ O! would to heaven she had no crime to answer, but her commerce
with Melville.--No, sir, he is not the man; it is your son, your Egerton,
that has seduced her; and here, sir, are the evidence of his seduction.

_Eger._ Of my seduction!

_Mel._ Of yours, sir, if your name be Egerton.

_Eger._ I am that man, sir; but pray, what is your evidence?

_Mel._ These bills, and these gorgeous jewels, not to be had in her menial
state, but at the price of chastity.--Not an hour since she sent them--
impudently sent them--by a servant of this house--contagious infamy
started from their touch.

_Eger._ Sir, perhaps you may be mistaken concerning the terms on which she
received them.--Do you but clear her conduct with Melville, and I will
instantly satisfy your fears concerning the jewels and her virtue.

_Mel._ Sir, you give me new life: you are my better angel. I believe in
your words--your looks:--know then, I am that Melville.

_Sir Per._ How, sir! you that Melville, that was at farmer Hodges's?

_Mel._ The same, sir: it was he brought my Constantia to my arms; lodged
and secreted me--once my lowly tenant--now my only friend. The fear of
inexorable creditors made me change my name from Harrington to Melville,
till I could see and consult some who once called themselves my friends.

_Eger._ Sir, suspend your fears and anger but for a few minutes; I will
keep my word with you religiously, and bring your Constantia to your arms,
as virtuous, and as happy as you could wish her. [_Exit with Lady_ Mac.

_Sir Per._ The clearing up of this wench's virtue is damned unlucky: I am
afraid it will ruin aw our affairs again:--However, I have one stroke
still in my head that will secure the bargain with my lord, let matters
gang as they will. [_Aside._] But I wonder, Maister Melville, that you did
nai pick up some little matter of siller in the Indies; ah! there have
been bonny fortunes snapt up there, of late years, by some of the military
blades.

_Mel._ It is very true, sir: but it is an observation among soldiers, that
there are some men who never meet with any thing in the service but blows
and ill fortune.--I was one of those, even to a proverb.

_Sir Per._ Ah! 'tis pity, sir, a great pity now, that you did nai get a
Mogul, or some sic an animal, intill your clutches. Ah! I should like to
have the strangling of a Nabob, the rummaging of his gold dust, his jewel
closet, and aw his magazines of bars and ingots. Ha, ha, ha!--guid traith
naw, sic an a fellow would be a bonny cheeld to bring till this town, and
to exhibit him riding on an elephant: upon honour, a man might raise a
poll-tax by him, that would gang near to pay the debts of the nation.

_Enter_ EGERTON, CONSTANTIA, _Lady_ MACSYCOPHANT, _and_ SIDNEY.

_Eger._ Sir, I promised to satisfy your fears concerning your daughter's
virtue; and my best proof to you, and all the world, that I think her not
only the most chaste, but the most deserving of her sex, is, that I have
made her the partner of my heart, and the tender guardian of my earthly
happiness for life.

_Sir Per._ How! married!

_Eger._ I know, sir, at present we shall meet your anger; but time,
reflection, and our dutiful conduct, we hope, will reconcile you to our
happiness.

_Sir Per._ Never, never--and could I make you, her, and aw your issue,
beggars, I would move hell, heaven, and earth, to do it.

_Lord Lum._ Why, Sir Pertinax, this is a total revolution, and will
entirely ruin my affairs.

_Sir Per._ My lord, with the consent of your lordship, and Lady Rodolpha,
I have an expedient to offer, that will not only punish that rebellious
villain, but answer every end that your lordship and the lady proposed by
the intended match with him.

_Lord Lum._ I doubt it much, Sir Pertinax--I doubt it much:--But what is
it, sir?--What is your expedient?

_Sir Per._ My lord, I have another son, and, provided the lady and your
lordship have nai objection till him, every article of that rebel's
intended marriage shall be amply fulfilled upon Lady Rodolpha's union with
my younger son.

_Lord Lum._ Why that is an expedient indeed, Sir Pertinax.--But what say
you, Rodolpha?

_Lady Rod._ Nay, nay, my lord, as I had nai reason to have the least
affection till my cousin Egerton, and as my intended marriage with him was
entirely an act of obedience till my grandmother, provided my cousin Sandy
will be as agreeable till her ladyship as my cousin Charles here wou'd
have been,--I have nai the least objection till the change. Ay, ay! one
brother is as guid till Rodolpha as another.

_Sir Per._ I'll answer, madam, for your grandmother.--Now, my lord, what
say you?

_Lord Lum._ Nay, Sir Pertinax, so the agreement stands, all is right
again. Come, child, let us begone.--Ay, ay, so my affairs are made easy,
it is equal to me whom she marries.--I say, Sir Pertinax, let them be but
easy, and rat me, if I care if she concorporates with the Cham of Tartary.
[_Exit._

_Sir Per._ As to you, my Lady Macsycophant, I suppose you concluded,
before you gave your consent till this match, that there wou'd be an end
of aw intercourse betwixt you and me.--Live with your Constantia, madam,
your son, and that black sheep there.--Live with them.--You shall have a
jointure, but not a bawbee besides, living or dead, shall you, or any of
your issue, ever see of mine;--and so, my vengeance light upon you aw
together. [_Exit._

_Lady Rod._ Weel, cousin Egerton, in spite of the ambitious frenzy of your
father, and the thoughtless dissipation of mine, Don Cupid has at last
carried his point in favour of his devotees.--But I must now take my
leave.--Lady Macsycophant, your most obedient.--Maister Sidney, yours.--
Permit me, Constantia, to have the honour of congratulating myself on our
alliance.

_Con._ Madam, I shall ever study to deserve and to return this kindness.

_Lady Rod._ I am sure you will.--But ah!--I neglect my poor Sandy aw this
while! and, guid traith, mine ain heart begins to tell me what his feels,
and chides me for tarrying so long.--I will therefore fly till him on the
wings of love and guid news;--for I am sure the poor lad is pining with
the pip of expectation and anxious jeopardy. And so, guid folks, I will
leave you with the fag end of an auld North-Country wish:--'May mutual
love and guid humour be the guests of your hearts, the theme of your
tongues, and the blithsome subjects of aw your tricksey dreams through the
rugged road of this deceitful world; and may our fathers be an example
till ourselves to treat our bairns better than they have treated us.'
[_Exit._

_Eger._ You seem melancholy, sir.

_Mel._ These precarious turns of fortune, sir, will press upon the
heart,--for, notwithstanding my Constantia's happiness, and mine in hers--
I own I cannot help feeling some regret, that my misfortunes should be the
cause of any disagreement between a father, and the man to whom I am under
the most endearing obligations.

_Eger._ You have no share in his disagreement; for had not you been born,
from my father's nature, some other cause of his resentment must have
happened.--But for a time at least, sir, and, I hope, for life, affliction
and angry vicissitudes have taken their leaves of us all.--If affluence
can procure content and ease, they are within our reach.--My fortune is
ample, and shall be dedicated to the happiness of this domestic circle.--

_My scheme, tho' mock'd by knave, coquet, and fool,
To thinking minds will prove this golden rule;
In all pursuits, but chiefly in a wife,
Not wealth, but morals, make the happy life._

FINIS.

William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: University of California

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William Andrews Clark Memorial Library

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FRANCES REYNOLDS (?): _An Enquiry Concerning the Principles of Taste, and
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L. Clifford.

THOMAS BAKER: _The Fine Lady's Airs_ (1709). Introduction by John
Harrington Smith.

DANIEL DEFOE: _Vindication of the Press_ (1718). Introduction by Otho
Clinton Williams.

JOHN EVELYN: _An Apologie for the Royal Party_ (1659); _A Panegyric to
Charles the Second_ (1661). Introduction by Geoffrey Keynes.

CHARLES MACKLIN: _Man of the World_ (1781). Introduction by Dougald
MacMillan.

_Prefaces to Fiction_. Selected and with an Introduction by Benjamin
Boyce.

THOMAS SPRAT: _Poems_.

SIR WILLIAM PETTY: _The Advice of W.P. to Mr. Samuel Hartlib for the
Advancement of some particular Parts of Learning_ (1648).

THOMAS GRAY: _An Elegy Wrote in a Country Church Yard_ (1751). (Facsimile
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First Year (1946-1947)

1. Richard Blackmore's _Essay upon Wit_ (1716), and Addison's _Freeholder_
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2. Samuel Cobb's _Of Poetry_ and _Discourse on Criticism_ (1707).

3. _Letter to A.H. Esq.; concerning the Stage_ (1698), and Richard Willis'
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7. John Gay's _The Present State of Wit_ (1711); and a section on Wit from
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13. Sir John Falstaff (pseud.), _The Theatre_ (1720).

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and Arthur Mainwaring's _The British Academy_ (1712).

16. Nevil Payne's _Fatal Jealousy_ (1673).

17. Nicholas Rowe's _Some Account of the Life of Mr. William Shakespear_
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18. Aaron Hill's-Preface to _The Creation_; and Thomas Brereton's Preface
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Fourth Year (1949-1950)

19. Susanna Centlivre's _The Busie Body_ (1709).

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Settled Principles is Rendered the Grounds for Choosing and Rejecting
Epigrams,_ translated by J.V. Cunningham.

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